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Weird National Briefs (11/06/2019)

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CO swinging

BERLIN — Authorities say a swingers’ club in western Germany had to be evacuated mid-party after a carbon monoxide alarm went off and several guests reported feeling unwell.

Firefighters in the town of Hattingen, between Dortmund and Duesseldorf in North Rhine-Westphalia, told the dpa news agency Sunday that about 300 swingers were brought to safety after the alarm went off late Saturday night.

The swingers, many clad just in bathrobes as they left the club, were taken on buses to be examined by first aid workers. About ten complained of feeling unwell and needed treatment.

The fire department says no dangerous levels of carbon monoxide were detected once they had arrived. In all, about 160 emergency workers were involved.

TME – At least they had no trouble staying in a group.

Off-duty DUI

BERLIN — Austrian authorities say an allegedly intoxicated off-duty policeman has been suspended after crashing into a car that was being checked by other officers.

Police said the incident happened at around 1 a.m. Monday in Tyrol province. Officers were able to get out of the way as their 55-year-old colleague drove into the back of the car they were checking, but both he and the two people in that vehicle — an Iraqi man and an Italian woman — were injured.

The Austria Press Agency reported that authorities said a breathalyzer test was positive, but wouldn’t say how far over the limit he was, citing data protection reasons. His driver’s license was taken away on the spot.

The officer was suspended from work and faces disciplinary proceedings.

TME – To understand a criminal, you must BECOME a criminal.

Sailor suit surrender

KANKAKEE, Ill. — All it took for one fugitive in Illinois to turn himself in was a little photo manipulation.

WBBM-TV in Chicago reports that the Kankakee County Sheriff’s Department posts notices about fugitives on its Facebook page each Wednesday.

This week, the department posted a picture of Brandon W. Conti. The 25-year-old was wanted for failure to appear on a drunken-driving charge.

Conti commented on the post and asked, “Where’s my costume?”

Sheriff’s office staff then edited the photo to add a sailor suit and a hat that read, “Ahoy.”

An officer wrote, “We held up our end of the bargain.”

Conti replied with laughing emojis, noting he would turn himself in “before noon” and asked that police “have the paperwork done and ready.” The department confirms Conti subsequently turned himself in.

TME – Better than wearing orange.

Work like a dog

CHICAGO — It was a real dog of a ceremony this week during a swearing-in at the state’s attorney’s office in Chicago.

The newly sworn-in worker is a Labrador retriever named Hatty. The 2-year-old will be on a 9-to-5 human schedule. But she’s being asked to work like a dog, to just do what comes naturally to most dogs: show affection.

Her job is to ease the strain of criminal proceedings on young children and those with mental-health issues who have been victims of assault. She’ll handle up to 200 cases annually.

Hatty is the office’s first emotional-support dog and was trained partly by inmates.

Cook County State’s Attorney Kim Foxx presided over Tuesday’s swearing-in. Hatty stood on her hind legs over a table and placed her paw across a law book as an oath was administered.

TME – No word on whether Hatty will have to pass the state bark exam.

One-in-a-million

LINCOLN, Neb. — Police are searching for a man who walked into a bank in Nebraska this week and tried to open a checking account with a fake $1 million bill.

Staff at the Pinnacle Bank branch in Lincoln reported the Monday morning incident to police. The Lincoln Journal Star reports that bank employees say the man was adamant that the bill was real despite tellers’ attempts to convince him otherwise.

The man eventually left with the bill, but without a new account.

Police are reviewing surveillance video to try to identify the man. Police say they want to check on his welfare and make sure he was not the victim of a crime.

The largest denomination note ever issued for public circulation was the $10,000 bill.

TME – He’s going to have a hell of a time breaking that.

Excuse exploitation

EVANS, La. — Authorities in Louisiana say a woman who worked at a medical clinic has been arrested for selling fake doctor’s notes to high school students so they can get out of class.

News outlets report 52-year-old Belinda Gail Fondren was charged with filing or maintaining false public records.

Vernon Parish Sheriff Sam Craft says Fondren was selling medical excuses for $20 each. He says two students at Evans High School in Evans, Louisiana received excuses on 14 occasions.

Deputies said a physician received a call from Vernon Parish School Board about the absence notes. He told deputies that he didn’t treat the students nor did he authorize the excuses.

Craft says Fondren worked in a clerical position at the clinic.

It’s unclear whether Fondren has an attorney.

TME – We assume Ferris Bueller is somehow involved.

Last modified on Tuesday, 05 November 2019 06:53

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