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Weird National Briefs (10/31/2018)

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Tooth of crime

VALDOSTA, Ga. - Construction workers in Georgia have found hundreds of teeth in the wall of a former dentists’ office.

The Valdosta Daily Times reports a construction crew preparing a commercial space in downtown Valdosta found about a thousand teeth inside a second-floor wall.

Historical Society researcher Harry Evans says the building was constructed in 1900, and its first tenant was a dentist named Clarence Whittington. He says it later housed another dentist named Lester G. Youmans until at least 1930.

Main Street Director Ellen Hill says teeth also have been found in the walls of former dentist offices in Greensboro and Carrolton.

Valdosta police say they haven’t found evidence of a crime. Project manager Dustin Merriman says the crew disposed of the teeth.

TME – You’re welcome for the nightmares.

Flaming foul-up

FRESNO, Calif. - Authorities say a man apparently set a California home on fire while using a blowtorch to kill spiders.

KFSN-TV reports 29 firefighters were called to a Fresno housing development Tuesday night to put out a two-alarm blaze.

Authorities say a man was housesitting for his parents when he tried to kill black widow spiders with a blowtorch. He got out safely, but the home’s attic and second story were damaged.

Although the exact cause of the blaze is under investigation, firefighters believe the blowtorch was to blame.

There’s no word on what happened to the spiders.

Fresno firefighters tweeted, “Please don’t use a blowtorch to kill spiders.”

TME – This is PRECISELY how such a situation should be handled.

Illegal dumping

FRANKLIN, N.J. - Authorities say they’ve captured a man suspected of dumping his grandson’s soiled diapers along several New Jersey roadways over the past year.

Franklin Township police say an officer acting on a hunch spotted 68-year-old William Friedman leaving a load of diapers in the area of Routes 47 and 40 around 3:15 a.m. Sunday. He was taken into custody after a traffic stop.

Friedman allegedly told police the diapers came from his grandson, adding that leaving them around town without getting caught “almost became a game.”

Authorities say a motorcyclist crashed in June after running over a diaper Friedman had allegedly dropped. The motorcyclist suffered minor injuries and his bike was totaled.

Friedman has been charged with interference with transportation. He faces up to $1,000 in fines.

TME – Does anyone give a crap?

School neighs

SPANISH LAKE, Mo. - Horses near an elementary school in northeast Missouri caused a brief shutdown at the school after deciding to go on a short romp.

Six or seven of horses from the Division Cavalry Brigade barn in north St. Louis County wandered the campus of Larimore Elementary School Tuesday, causing officials to keep children and staff inside for about an hour.

The St. Louis Post-Dispatch reports the 14 horses of the Division Cavalry Brigade are used to teach Civil War history and serve children and veterans with special needs. Their owner, Terry Crowder, says the horses had visited the school before.

Police were able to coax the horses back to their home, which is about 300 yards from the school.

Crowder believes someone accidentally left a gate to a pasture open.

TME – Stupid horses – you won’t even fit in the desks!

Pursuing justice

CHEHALIS, Wash. - A judge removed his robe and gave chase after two handcuffed inmates made a run for it from his Washington state courtroom.

Video obtained by The Daily Chronicle shows Judge R.W. Buzzard leap into action when 22-year-old Tanner Jacobson and 28-year-old Kodey Howard bolted for the door and down a stairwell.

Jacobson was in the lead bounding down the four flights of stairs, but the judge closed in on Howard. The judge grabbed him just as he was about to exit the courthouse. Authorities apprehended Jacobson a few blocks away.

Both are charged with second-degree escape.

Sheriff Rob Snaza says “these things don’t happen very often.”

TME – He’s a regular Whizzer White! (It’s hilarious, trust me. Ask your grandparents.)

Cauldron catastrophe

SALEM, Mass. - Police say a Salem, Massachusetts man hit another man over the head with a cauldron near a local witchcraft store.

Salem police officers were on patrol around 11:30 p.m. Saturday when the victim, bleeding from the head, ran up to them and said he was attacked by another man. Authorities say the two men had been inside a cottage behind a store that sells witchcraft related items, like decorative cauldrons and candle containers.

Police say they found 35-year-old Cory Nelson inside the cottage stumbling around and smelling of alcohol. Nelson was arrested and pleaded not guilty to a charge of assault and battery with a dangerous weapon during his arraignment Monday.

The victim suffered a cut to his head but refused medical attention at the scene.

TME – He avoided the doctor because he feared the Salem Stitch Trials.

Flatulent felon

KANSAS CITY, Mo. - A man whose excessive flatulence forced a police detective to cut shot an interrogation has pleaded guilty to federal gun and drug charges.

The Kansas City Star reports that 25_year_old Sean Sykes Jr. entered the plea Monday. The charges stem from a police traffic stop in September in Kansas City, Missouri, in which officers found a backpack with drugs and guns. Sykes was a passenger in the vehicle.

A detective reported that when asked for his address, Sykes “leaned to one side of his chair and released a loud fart before answering.” Court documents say Sykes “continued to be flatulent” and the detective was forced to quickly end the interview.

Sykes will be sentenced at later date, after a pre-sentence report is completed.

TME – Coming this fall - “Law & Order: IBS.”


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