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Weird National Briefs (10/03/2018)

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Coyote alert

NORTH ROYALTON, Ohio - An Ohio police department outside Cleveland where fans of the “Road Runner” cartoon are apparently employed has a request for residents after a string of recent coyote sightings.

The North Royalton Police Department says residents shouldn’t call 911 about coyotes unless they see any of the following:

- Coyotes carrying any product marked “ACME”.

- Coyotes dropping anvils from hot air balloons.

- Coyote posting signs such as “Detour” or “Free Bird Seed”.

- Coyote in possession of a giant magnet.

- Coyote in possession of a catapult.

- Coyote detonating “TNT”.

- Coyote on roller skates with rockets attached.

In the cartoon, Wile E. Coyote is the Road Runner’s hapless nemesis.

The Ohio Department of Natural Resources says coyotes are typically nocturnal, but do make appearances during the day.

TME – If it shows you a card that says “Super Genius,” please note that is an exaggeration.

Leggo my Eggo

PEACHTREE CITY, Ga. - A Georgia man is accused of stealing 150 pounds of waffle mix from a former employer and flipping it to a syrupy stream of buyers.

Peachtree City police spokeswoman Lt. Odilia Bergh told the Atlanta Journal-Constitution on Thursday that 33-year-old Brandon Lee Nelson is charged with burglary.

Police say Nelson drove to his former employer’s storage facility in August and stole five boxes of Golden Malted waffle batter. Bergh says Nelson then covertly sold it to buyers who contacted him about the stolen dough.

Bergh says Nelson later was identified on surveillance video of the theft and arrested this month. He has since posted bail and been released. It’s unclear if he has a lawyer.

TME – As for who masterminded the scheme? We suspect the Belgians.

Flight risk

LONDON - An Irish man who missed his flight at Dublin Airport was arrested Thursday for running after the plane on the tarmac in a bid to flag it down.

Witnesses said a man in his 20s broke through an airport door and ran toward the Ryanair plane, which was about to take off for Amsterdam, at around 7 a.m.

Declan Harvey, who was at the airport, said he could hear a man shouting “Wait!” at the plane before he was tackled to the ground by airport workers.

The airport said that a man became “agitated” after he and a woman arrived at the gate too late for their flight. It said the man “broke through a door and made his way onto the apron, trying to flag the aircraft down.”

He was briefly restrained by Ryanair staff until airport police arrived. He was handed over to Irish police and taken to a Dublin police station.

Patrick Kehoe, 23, later appeared in a Dublin court charged with criminal damage to a door lock. He was granted bail until a court appearance in November.

Se he left court, Kehoe shouted abuse and insults at journalists and swung at them with his suitcase, before lowering his trousers and mooning bystanders.

TME – It’s like a Darkest Timeline “Love Actually.”

Right place, wrong time?

ALBANY, N.Y. - Police in Albany didn’t have to go far to respond to a crash over the weekend: it occurred in the parking lot of the department’s downtown station.

Officers say a 34-year-old man was driving around noon Saturday when he crashed into the fence of the parking lot at the South Station.

Police say when officers arrived they found the driver still at the wheel and unconscious. Officers say after he got out of the car he showed signs of being under the influence of drugs and alcohol.

The man was taken to a hospital for a medical evaluation and later was charged with driving while ability impaired by drugs and alcohol.

TME – Good for him, cutting out the middleman.

Hopped-up hunt

JUPITER, Fla. - A fugitive kangaroo named Storm has been found safe and sound after several days of searching in South Florida neighborhoods.

The kangaroo’s owner Eric Westergard tells the Palm Beach Post that wildlife officers found the four-foot kangaroo early Thursday.

Storm hopped away Monday night from Westergard’s Jupiter Farms home, where he also keeps six other kangaroos and other exotic animals.

Officers from the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission used drones and a K-9 from the Tequesta Police Department as they tracked down the kangaroo.

No more details about his capture were immediately available.

TME – That marsupial will roo the day!

Thinking inside the box

EUREKA, Mo. - Six contestants for a promotion at Six Flags St. Louis will compete for a $300 prize, season tickets and other perks, and all they have to do is spend 30 hours in a coffin.

The St. Louis Post-Dispatch reports that participants chosen for the ghoulish contest will bide their time in 2-by-7-foot coffins from 1 p.m. Oct. 13 to 7 p.m. Oct. 14 at the park. The contest celebrates the 30th year of Fright Fest.

Contestants get a brief hourly bathroom break, but otherwise remain coffin-bound.

All who complete the challenge get two 2019 Gold Season passes and other park prizes. If more than one makes it to 30 hours, a drawing will determine who gets the $300.

One more perk: Successful coffin dwellers get to keep the coffin.

TME – Someone needs to clarify what they think the word “amusement” actually means.


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