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Weird National Briefs (09/11/2019)

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Wheels up

ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. - A mobile speed limit monitoring trailer in Albuquerque can still monitor speeding motorists but can’t be moved because thieves recently stole its tires.

KOB-TV reports that police said Thursday that the wheels of the speed trailer were stolen and the device is now stationary after it was put on metal pegs.

Police say the speed monitor still shows drivers how fast they are going and tracks the data.

Authorities say the trailer will be repaired.

No arrests have been made.

TME – This feels like an early-draft verse from Alanis Morrissette’s “Ironic.”

Midnight snack

SAFETY HARBOR, Fla. - Authorities say a burglar broke into a Florida home, cooked himself an early morning meal and told the resident there to “go back to sleep.”

The home’s occupant told investigators he awoke to discover the man cooking and eating sometime after 4 a.m. Tuesday.

Fox 13 in Tampa reported the burglar ran from the house when the resident called 911. Deputies from the Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office tracked down the suspect in a wooded and swampy area behind the home.

Deputies said Gavin Crim, a 19-year-old Marine, allegedly entered the home through an unlocked rear door.

An arrest report mentioned that the suspect may have been under the influence of alcohol.

TME – It was breakfast time, so it this bacon and entering?

Drunk Samaritan

WOODS CROSS, Utah - A Utah woman has been sentenced to jail time after calling 911 to report a possible drunk driver while she was intoxicated.

Court documents show 32-year-old Breanna Dawn Hernandez called police on August 16 to report a possible drunk driver in Woods Cross.

When police pressed her for more information, the woman gave her own license plate and started laughing on the phone.

Police arrested Hernandez and charged her with a DUI and having an open container in her vehicle. Officers found an almost empty bottle of Fireball whiskey in her car.

Hernandez pleaded guilty on Tuesday to the DUI charge. She will serve 12 days in jail and be on probation for 12 months.

A lawyer listed for Hernandez couldn’t immediately be reached.

TME – No good (and drunk) deed goes unpunished.

Moose on the loose

GRAND FORKS, N.D. - A female moose looked like she was trying out for running back as she loped across a football practice field at the University of North Dakota.

University spokesman David Dodds says the moose wandered into Grand Forks overnight and found its way onto old Memorial Stadium on campus Tuesday morning.

Dodds says all the gates have been shut, and the animal is being confined to the practice field until the moose can be safely released.

UND Police tweeted video of the moose running on the practice field and asked everyone to stay away “so that the moose doesn’t become stressed or panicked.”

In the meantime, North Dakota football players are practicing next door for Saturday’s game against rival North Dakota State in Fargo.

TME – This is great prep for the big game against Wossamotta U.

Cat burglary

NAPLES, Fla. - Florida deputies have a cat burglar in custody. Literally, a cat.

The Naples Daily News reports Collier County sheriff’s deputies responded to a 911 call Saturday about a suspected burglary in progress.

A homeowner heard knocking on a sliding door along with meowing. The caller thought the cat sounds were a ruse to try to him or her to open the door.

When deputies arrived, they found the culprit was a small cat named Bones. The posted a photo on Facebook of the cat in back of a patrol car poking its head through a barred window.

The department said Bones was taking to a county animal shelter for “fur-ther questioning.”

TME – ‘Twas the purr-fect crime.

Municipally driven

TANEYTOWN, Md. - A Maryland city’s mayor says police arrested a “disgruntled resident” accused of intentionally ramming his car into City Hall, damaging the building.

Taneytown Mayor Bradley Wantz says the driver didn’t injure the lone city employee who was in the building on Friday evening.

The Taneytown Police Department said in a statement posted on its Facebook page that the driver was arrested on charges including second-degree assault, second-degree burglary, reckless driving and malicious destruction of property. The police statement didn’t name the suspect.

Police say witnesses saw the car repeatedly strike the building. Wantz said during a telephone interview Sunday that the man was angry because his water service had been shut off for failing to pay his bill.

The mayor says City Hall will remain closed through Tuesday.

TME – You can’t fight City Hall, but at least you can crash your car into it.

Marking time

SEATTLE - A Washington motorist who police say used a black marker to try to make the vehicle-tab sticker on the license plate appear current received an A for effort along with a $228 ticket for expired tabs.

The Seattle Times reports that Washington State Patrol spokeswoman Heather Axtman tweeted a photo of the doctored tabs Thursday, noting the “coloring skills are kind of on point.”

She told the newspaper that it was an “A for effort” and one of the more creative ones she’s seen.

However, Axtman said, the effort with the black marker wasn’t good to fool a trooper in Snohomish County.

TME – Not so Sharpie.

Last modified on Tuesday, 10 September 2019 13:18

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