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Weird National Briefs (08/08/2018)

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Baseball blues

NEW YORK - New York Mets fans struggling with their team’s lousy season now have somewhere to cope besides sports talk radio.

An online mental health marketplace is giving free, confidential therapy sessions to Flushing faithful who fill out a form asking for their most difficult moments as fans.

New York-based UMA Health made the offer this week after Tuesday’s 25-4 loss to the Washington Nationals, the worst loss in Mets history.

UMA says the lighthearted promotion is meant to bring attention to the important role of therapy. The company says it wants to eliminate the stigma of going to a therapist.

The Mets, ravaged by injuries and boneheaded play, are the fifth worst team in Major League Baseball. They’re tied for last in the NL East, 16 games behind the division-leading Phillies.

TME – We assume additional help will be rendered for Jets fans.

Grin and bare it

HONOLULU - A Hawaii judge has ordered the eviction of the tenants of an Oahu rental home that advertised naked parties and gained the ire of neighbors.

Hawaii News Now reports the judge sided with property managers, citing lease violations, multiple disturbances and running a business out of the Nuuanu home.

Tenant Amy Highmoor says the property managers and neighbors are retaliating because of their alternative lifestyle and her complaints about the home’s condition.

Neighbors have complained of the so-called Freedom House’s loud parties, like naked yoga, and a car fire.

Neighbor David Brown says he has called police multiple times because of the house.

Lawyers for both sides will work out a moving date for the tenants.

TME – No nudes is good news.

Athletic supporter

FOXBOROUGH, Mass. - A young Connecticut woman didn’t want to ever lose the autograph she got from Tom Brady.

The New England Patriots star signed 19-year-old Megan Uhrynowski’s arm after a practice at Gillette Stadium on Monday night that she had attended with a friend.

Uhrynowski, a college student, told WHDH-TV her friend had suggested she turn the autograph into a tattoo.

So she did.

Uhrynowski went to a tattoo parlor the next day and had the five-time Super Bowl champion’s signature permanently etched on her arm.

She said she was “freaking out” when Brady responded to her request to sign her arm during an autograph session with fans, adding: “It was probably like the coolest thing.”

TME – Don’t ask what part Gronk signed.

Grin and bear it

CONIFER, Colo. - Travelers in Colorado are being urged to lock their cars when they’re in bear country.

The Jefferson County Sheriff’s Office in Colorado posted a video on Facebook that shows what can happen when a car is left unlocked and a bruin smells treats inside.

An officer used a rope to open the door and awaken the bear, which seemed to enjoy the food contents of a small station wagon before taking a nap. A half-eaten banana was left behind as the bear ran off into the woods.

The sheriff’s office wrote it’s “pawsitively sure” locking the door reduces the chances of losing important items and having a vehicle trashed.

TME – And God help you if you leave your picnic basket unsupervised.

Cut for cheese

GREENVILLE, S.C. - Free samples briefly turned a Costco warehouse club into a fight club for two senior citizens.

The State newspaper in Columbia, South Carolina, cites a July 26 Greenville police report saying it began when a 72-year-old man cut ahead of a 70-year-old man who was waiting for a complimentary piece of cheese.

It happened again as the 70-year-old was awaiting a cheeseburger sample. First there were angry words and then a punch.

Police say the cheeseburger stand worker confirmed the Hawaiian shirt-clad 72-year-old then smacked the 70-year-old, causing his hat and glasses to fly off.

The 72-year-old said he felt the other man was aggressive and about to hit him.

Police spokesman Donald Porter says authorities are seeking surveillance footage to sort it out, and no one has been arrested.

TME – If getting in a fistfight over free cheese is wrong, I don’t want to be right.

Hair today, gone tomorrow

NEW DELHI - Posing as customers, the three men entered a little New Delhi workshop early one morning. Then one pulled out a gun, and the trio demanded the most valuable thing there: Hair.

They fled a half-hour later with 200 kilograms of wigs and raw hair worth more than $20,000, police said Thursday.

They left behind a wig-maker deep in debt.

“People think wigs are cheap but they cost a fortune to make,” Jahangir Hussain told The Indian Express newspaper after the robbery last Friday. He said he had borrowed more than $17,000 to buy hair last month from South Indian wholesalers.

“We breathe life into dead hair,” said Hussain, who proudly says his wigs can last a decade if they are cared for properly.

Hair is big business in India, estimated to bring in more than $300 million a year, with wigs and hair extensions exported around the world. Much of the hair is collected at Hindu temples in South India where devotees have their heads shaved as a form of religious sacrifice. The best-known temple for tonsuring, as the practice is known, in the town of Tirupati, collects hundreds of tons of hair every year, auctioning it off for millions of dollars.

TME – Weave never seen such a hair-raising crime be-forelock. Tuft luck.

Last modified on Tuesday, 14 August 2018 19:43

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