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Weird National Briefs (05/05/2021)

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Tree’s company

GETTYSBURG, Pa. (AP) — Authorities say a man was rescued after a tree that fell during high winds trapped him inside a portable toilet at Gettysburg National Military Park in south-central Pennsylvania.

The Barlow Volunteer Fire Department said on its Facebook page that the crew was called to Little Round Top shortly before 4 p.m. Friday. Assistant Chief Joe Robinson told the York Daily Record that they found a tree atop a vehicle but no one inside, and park rangers then told them the tree had trapped a man in the portable toilet.

Robinson said crews treated it like a car entrapment, cutting away the tree with a chain saw and then cutting the portable toilet open with another saw.

“He was very lucky,” said Robinson, who has been a volunteer firefighter for three decades. “It was a large tree, and it just missed striking him. It could have been very serious.”

The man was alert and talking to EMS as he was loaded into an ambulance to be taken to Gettysburg Hospital with injuries not considered life-threatening.

Emergency crews across the region were responding to many calls of downed trees and wires as well as fires during the windy conditions, officials said.

TME – Too bad he forgot his toilet-tree bag.

Critter commute

HOUSTON (AP) — Some days, Houston area traffic can be a nightmare. Other days, it can be a zoo, literally.

A cow and an alligator caused traffic delays on Wednesday during separate incidents in which the animals took themselves for a spin on Houston area roadways.

At around 8 a.m., the cow was spotted moving along Interstate 10 in east Houston, stopping traffic during morning rush hour. Harris County Sheriff Ed Gonzalez tweeted that a pedestrian tried to rope the cow.

The sheriff office’s livestock unit later arrived at the scene and was able to get the cow to a nearby cemetery, where it was loaded onto a trailer and reunited with its owners. The cow, which was unharmed, had escaped from a nearby farm.

A few hours later, a not fast but furious alligator parked itself on the shoulder of a busy bridge near the Houston suburb of Baytown. At least one lane of traffic was blocked as several officers, including members of the Texas Parks and Wildlife Department, placed a rope around the reptile’s neck. After the alligator wrestled and spun on the ground, officers held it down as its mouth was taped shut.

KTRK-TV reported the alligator was put in the back of a truck and was taken to a nearby waterway, where it was released.

TME – Stop me if you’ve heard this one: A cow and an alligator hit the road in Houston…

Crying fowl

MONTECITO, Calif. (AP) — Flocks of birds have become unwelcome guests in California homes.

Firefighters called to a home in the Santa Barbara County community of Montecito Sunday night found about 1,000 small birds trapped in the chimney, the Montecito Fire Protection District said in a social media post.

Firefighters and county animal services workers hoped the birds, identified as swifts, would fly up and out the flue overnight, but when authorities returned Monday morning the birds were still trapped by the screen at the base of the fireplace.

Workers then designed a chute system that funneled the birds out of the fireplace and through the home’s back doors.

A similar invasion happened last week in Los Angeles County, where hundreds of birds poured down a chimney into the home of a Torrance family, KTLA-TV reported. Those birds got all the way into the house.

TME – Tippi Hedren was unavailable for comment.

Das boom, das bum

BERLIN (AP) — A German police bomb squad called to investigate a suspected hand grenade in a Bavarian forest determined that the object actually was a rubber sex toy, authorities said Tuesday.

A jogger reported finding a bag containing the device Monday in a forest outside the city of Passau, near Germany’s borders with Austria and the Czech Republic.

The discovery of forgotten or hidden munitions is still a regular occurrence in Germany more than 75 years after the end of World War II.

But when a bomb squad arrived and inspected the contents of the bag, they determined it was a rubber grenade replica. The condoms and lubricant in the bag helped inform the hypothesis about the device’s intended use, police told German news agency dpa.

“An internet search confirmed the suspicion,” police said. “There are actually sex toys in the form of hand grenades.”

TME – You know what they say – a grenade in the hand is worth two in … other places.

Home alone

PORTSMOUTH, R.I. (AP) — Zero patience for the company of others? Anyone who’s ever wanted their own private island getaway now has a chance — and it might be less expensive than you’d think.

The only house on a small island in Rhode Island’s Narragansett Bay — with the unique address of 0 Patience Way — has hit the market for an asking price of $399,900, The Newport Daily News reported Monday.

The seasonal cottage on Patience Island is off the electrical grid, but comes with just under a half-acre of land and approximately 600 square feet (55 square meters) of living area that includes two bedrooms, a kitchenette, a half bath and what is described as a “picturesque front porch.” A single solar panel does provide some electrical services.

“Perfect for comfortable camping, getaways, amazing Airbnb potential & more,” the listing from Rhode Island Real Estate Services says.

The cottage also has a unique address — 0 Patience Way.

The island, officially part of the town of Portsmouth, is about one-third of a square mile.

According to property records, the cottage was built in 1972 and has been owned by the same family since.

TME – No man is an island (unless they buy this house).

Last modified on Wednesday, 05 May 2021 06:15

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