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Weird National Briefs (05/01/2019)

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Road to riches

GRAND HAVEN, Mich. - Police in Michigan are appealing to people to surrender their instant riches after a box with $30,000 fell off the back of a truck.

Authorities in Grand Haven say drivers stopped Thursday to pick up cash for themselves.

Only $2,500 was immediately recovered and returned to the owner, who had forgotten that a cash box was on the truck’s bumper. Traffic was backed up on U.S. 31 after money hit the ground.

But by Saturday, more money was trickling in. The Department of Public Safety says two teenagers turned in $630, and a woman gave up nearly $3,900.

The department says on Facebook: “We commend you for your honesty!!”

TME – We assume this was the “create a distraction” part of an action movie heist.

Marsupial manhunt

WIMBERLEY, Texas - Cross him off the list of America’s most wanted marsupials.

A kangaroo named Harry that had been on the loose after escaping from a Central Texas ranch for exotic animals was captured and returned home on Saturday.

The kangaroo had been on the lam for several days after escaping from the ranch near Wimberley, located about 40 miles southwest of Austin.

Harry had been spotted eating flowers and grass by residents of Hays County while he had been on the loose.

Authorities say the kangaroo’s owners were able to capture him by using a tranquilizer dart.

Ranch owner Roy Dale told KVUE-TV that he had been out of town when the kangaroo escaped and had believed his property’s gates were high enough to keep Harry secure.

TME – Check his pocket.

What the heck?

DICKSON, Tenn. - A Tennessee movie theater that sits across from a church and next to an elementary school is promoting the latest movie in the “Hellboy” franchise as “Heckboy.”

The Tennessean reports the PG advertisement at the Dickson theater has caused a local buzz around the $50 million movie, which grossed $19.8 million in its first two weekends.

Manager Belinda Daniel says the theater avoids putting up words on its sign that may be seen as profanity. She says they want to be respectful to everyone, including the hundreds of children who pass by every day. But she says the response to the theater’s play on words has been more exciting than expected.

She says she’s glad the sign shared the community’s personality and incited some laughs.

TME – Next up: “Avengers: Tushygame.”

You’re doing it wrong

WOOD RIVER, Neb. - Nebraska authorities say state troopers arrested a California man following a high-speed chase that started after he was spotted driving 4 mph on Interstate 80.

Nebraska State Patrol spokesman Cody Thomas says the driver didn’t pull over for a state trooper early Saturday morning near Kearney and eventually accelerated to about 70 mph. Then the driver sped up to nearly 150 mph and drove recklessly until stopping near Gibbon.

Thomas says the man sped away when troopers approached. He was stopped by spike strips deployed near Wood River.

Nebraska records don’t yet show that the 37-year-old Lomita, California, resident has been formally charged. He was arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence of drugs, willful reckless driving and felony flight to avoid arrest.

TME – You rarely see the low-, medium- and high-speed chase trifecta.

Treetop flyer

MCCALL, Idaho - A pilot who was trying to crash-land this week in an Idaho field instead brought his small plane to rest at the top of a 60-foot tree, officials said.

Pilot John Gregory was not hurt in the Monday night crash, which happened when his single-engine Piper Cub PA-18 lost power and a wing strut became entangled in the tree, according to the fire department in the resort town of McCall.

Gregory was rescued from his perch atop the giant white fir by volunteer firefighter Randy Acker, who owns a tree removal company.

“My thought was, `I need to get up there and see what’s going on,”‘ Acker said.

Acker had Gregory stand up in the plane so he could cut the pilot’s harness and clip him to a safety line for the descent. Gregory was brought down safely with the plane still lodged in the branches.

Most of the weight of the plane was borne by one tree, but it also was touching a nearby tree.

“Those wings were perfectly centered over the top of the tree,” said McCall Fire Capt. Brandon Swain.

A piece of the plane’s propeller and one of its wheels had fallen to the ground, but the rest of the plane was intact, suspended in the tree.

Acker cut branches as he scaled the tree until he was about 20 feet from the top, where higher branches were supporting the plane.

Swain said Acker then secured the plane to the tree using rope webbing before Gregory was rescued.

“I’ve never seen anything like this happen,” Acker said. “Just glad I was able to help.”

Officials are trying to determine how to remove the plane from its perch and warned people to stay away from it.

TME – That’s what you get for daring to try and break the bonds of gravity.

Goat not GOAT

NEW YORK - “There’s a new GOAT in town, and it’s not (at)TomBrady...”

That’s what the New York Police Department tweeted after rescuing a crying pygmy goat that had mysteriously wandered into a Queens backyard this past week.

Officers named it Josh and delivered it to a city animal shelter for a meal of hay.

Josh will soon go to the Skylands animal sanctuary in New Jersey, where Jon Stewart and wife, Tracey, sent a bull headed to a slaughterhouse that escaped on a Queens street three years ago.

In a video police released Friday, an officer is seen cradling the goat in her arms, saying, “It’s OK. ... He’s so cute.”

And no, it’s not Brady, whose nickname, GOAT, stands for the “greatest of all time.”

TME – They’re just kidding around.

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