Admin

Posted by

Allen Adams Allen Adams
This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

edge staff writer

Share

Weird National Briefs (01/22/2020)

Rate this item
(0 votes)

Right in the bofa

PROVIDENCE, R.I. - A Rhode Island man accidentally shot himself in the scrotum while sitting on his bed, police said.

Providence police officers found Edward Martinez, 22, in a hallway wearing no pants with a gunshot wound to his scrotum Thursday night, said Commander Thomas Verdi.

Martinez told police he took his pants off after he fired the gun and located the wound, the Providence Journal reported. He was taken to Rhode Island Hospital with non-life-threatening injuries.

Police seized three guns that were found inside Martinez’s bedroom, including a semi-automatic pistol on his bedside table. He isn’t facing any criminal charges at this time, Verdi said.

TME – This story is nuts!

Sword loser

HARLAN, Iowa - A Kansas man has asked an Iowa judge to let him engage in a sword fight with his ex-wife and her attorney so that he can “rend their souls” from their bodies.

David Ostrom, 40, of Paola, Kansas, said in a Jan. 3 court filing that his former wife, Bridgette Ostrom, 38, of Harlan, Iowa, and her attorney, Matthew Hudson, had “destroyed (him) legally.” The Ostroms have been embroiled in disputes over custody and visitation issues and property tax payments.

The judge had the power to let the parties “resolve our disputes on the field of battle, legally,” David Ostrom said, adding in his filing that trial by combat “has never been explicitly banned or restricted as a right in these United States.”

He also asked the judge for 12 weeks’ time so he could secure Japanese samurai swords.

His motion filed in Shelby County District Court stemmed from his frustrations with his ex-wife’s attorney, Ostrom told The Des Moines Register.

“I think I’ve met Mr. Hudson’s absurdity with my own absurdity,” Ostrom said, adding that his former wife could choose Hudson to act as her champion.

Hudson argued in his legal response that because a duel could end in death, “such ramifications likely outweigh those of property tax and custody issues.” Hudson asked the judge to reject the request for trial by combat.

Judge Craig Dreismeier said in his own filing Monday that he won’t be issuing a decision anytime soon, citing irregularities with both sides’ motions and responses.

“Until the proper procedural steps to initiate a court proceeding are followed, this court will take no further action concerning any motion, objection or petition filed by either party at this time,” the judge said.

TME – Any way you slice it, this guy’s a loon.

Psychic shenanigans

FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. - A mother and daughter who claimed to be Florida psychics and used eggs containing snake embryos to convince customers they were cursed are going to prison for fraud.

The SunSentinel reports that a federal judge on Friday sentenced Annie Marie Vwanawick, 74, to 42 months behind bars and 44-year-old April Miller to just over two years. The case involved two victims, one who was bilked out of $1.4 million and another defrauded of $10,000.

Court records show the pair claimed to be “white squaw Cherokee Indian” spiritual healers and that the snake embryos were part of their practice. One victim, identified in court only as “Mrs. O.,” said she was told she had to give the women money for “cleansing” during a divorce and then again needed to pay and turn over jewelry after her husband died because he had become a “demon.”

Defense attorneys had asked for leniency, in part citing the pair’s Gypsy heritage, but the judge imposed longer sentences than they sought because of past evidence of fraud.

TME – They probably should have seen this coming.

Stool’s gold

OWOSSO, Mich. - The footstool didn’t feel right. That’s what happens when someone stashes $43,170 inside and apparently forgets about it.

Indeed, the money was discovered inside a footstool that was donated to a Michigan resale shop in Owosso Township.

Howard Kirby bought the piece and other furniture for $70 after Christmas. He was stunned Sunday when his daughter-in-law unzipped the cushion and shouted. After the shock wore off, he began the extraordinary step of returning the money to the former owners.

“I do what I can to be as much like Christ as I can, and this is the moral thing to do,” Kirby, 54, said. “This is going to help them. I’m so happy for them.”

The footstool was part of a living room set donated to a Habitat For Humanity store by Kim Fauth-Newberry and her husband. The furniture had belonged to her grandfather, Phillip Fauth, who died in July.

Fauth-Newberry said Fauth was a frugal man who always paid in cash, even $9,000 for a new roof. The newly discovered money was separated with paper clips and topped with handwritten notes.

“This is crazy,” Fauth-Newberry said Thursday, staring at stacks of hundred-dollar bills.

TME – Instead of cash on hand, it’s cash underfoot.

Game over

PORTLAND, Ore. - A passenger waiting for a flight at an Oregon airport needed a bit more screen space for his video game so he plugged his Playstation 4 into a computer screen that had been displaying a map of the airport.

Kara Simonds, a spokeswoman for the Port of Portland, told KXL-AM radio in an on-air interview that Portland International Airport staff asked the man to stop gaming on the public map display.

He asked if he could finish his game. They said no, and the situation resolved peacefully.

“Apparently it was a very polite and cordial interaction,” Simonds said, calling it “a good reminder of what not to do at the airport.”

No word on whether or not the passenger made it to the next level.

TME – Better to ask forgiveness than permission.

The In-cuddlable Hulk

CANTON, N.C. - The Avengers may have gained a canine sidekick after a North Carolina family’s dog gave birth to a bright green puppy named “Hulk.”

Gypsy, a white shepherd owned by Haywood County resident Shana Stamey, delivered eight puppies Friday morning. Gypsy’s three-hour labor was going smoothly until the fourth puppy came out as a small, but mighty tuft of lime green fur, Stamey said.

“I started freaking out,” Stamey told news outlets. “But everybody was healthy.”

Experts said there’s a normal explanation for the puppy’s coloration - and no, he wasn’t exposed to any gamma rays. Liquid from inside Gypsy’s stomach likely stained the white dog’s fur during pregnancy, Suzanne Cianciulli, the manager of Junaluska Animal Hospital in Waynesville, told news outlets.

Regular baths and daily licks from Gypsy are expected to fade Hulk’s green hue in a few weeks, Stamey said. However, the puppy’s newfound superpower, which the family has deemed an “aggressive appetite,” will likely remain.

TME – We should all be green with envy.

Tree-totaler

TIVERTON, R.I. - A Rhode Island community is trying to figure out who cut down about two dozen trees on a town-owned waterfront lot without permission.

The trees in Tiverton were reported cropped to a height of about four feet on Jan. 3.

Police have conducted “an exhaustive investigation,” and are asking that anyone with information contact them, Chief Patrick Jones told The Newport Daily News for story published Wednesday. The culprit could face charges including theft and vandalism and destruction of town property.

Authorities have contacted all the area tree companies, the electric company and the town’s public works department to see if they may have done it, but they all denied it, Town Clerk Nancy Mello said.

She suggested someone may have wanted to improve the view of the water.

There are several houses across the street from the lot, which is behind a chain-link fence.

Town Councilman John Edwards V suggested offering a reward for information at Monday’s council meeting.

TME – Someone call the Lorax.

Last modified on Wednesday, 22 January 2020 08:40

Advertisements

The Maine Edge. All rights reserved. Privacy policy. Terms & Conditions.

Website CMS and Development by Links Online Marketing, LLC, Bangor Maine