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Weird National Briefs (01/08/2020)

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Bird is the word

LAKE WORTH BEACH, Fla. - When someone in a Florida neighborhood heard chilling cries and the words “Let me out!” they dialed 911.

Little did they know the cries were that of a 40-year-old parrot named Rambo.

After the call, four Palm Beach County Sheriff’s deputies pulled up and questioned a man who appeared to be repairing a car in his driveway. The Palm Beach Post reports that when the deputies explained their concerns, the man smiled, then told deputies he’d introduce them to the perpetrator. When he returned with the parrot, the deputies burst out laughing.

The man told officers that he taught Rambo to scream “Let me out!” when he was a kid and Rambo lived in a cage.

PBSO officials could not be reached for more details. The agency did tweet a link to a video Saturday, saying, “Our deputies in Lake Worth Beach came to the help of someone screaming for help. Hilarity ensued.”

TME – Fowl play is suspected.

Decade-crossing duo

COLOGNE, Minn. - A Minnesota couple is celebrating the birth of twins born in different decades.

Melissa and Ben Mase became parents to George and Remi on New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day, respectively, the Star Tribune reported Saturday. George was born at 11:44 p.m. on Tuesday, while Remi arrived at 12:01 a.m. Wednesday.

“There was quite a bit of hooting and hollering going on in (the delivery room),” said Ben Mase, 43. The doctors and nurses wore “Happy New Year” party hats and served the couple mocktails after the second birth.

The couple, from the town of Cologne, west of Minneapolis, weren’t expecting the twins for another five weeks. Melissa Mase, 42, had just seen her doctor on Monday and showed no signs of going into early labor.

But Melissa Mase, assistant principal at Cologne Academy, a K-8 charter school, began experiencing contractions the next day as she tried to finish some work before winter break ended. They intensified when she arrived at Ridgeview Medical Center in Waconia.

The Mases, who have been married nearly 15 years and have three other children - ages 11, 9 and 2 - joked as the clock in the delivery room inched closer to midnight about how funny it would be if the twins entered the world in two different decades. The babies cooperated.

TME – This might be the premise of a YA-oriented Netflix series.

Crime of fashion

GALLIANO, La. - Louisiana authorities are perplexed over why a man left apparent designer bags holding drugs, a gun, cash and a digital scale in a convenience store.

The man went into the store early Thursday and put the Louis Vuitton and Gucci bags on a chair, according to a news release Friday.

“The employee said he offered her $100 to `keep his bag,’” Lt. Brennan Matherne, spokesman for Lafourche Parish Sheriff Craig Webre, said in an interview. “I don’t know if his intention was for her to hold onto the bag until he came back or what.”

The worker declined, and the man walked out without the bags, the news release said. A customer later pointed out that one of them held a handgun, which turned out to be stolen from neighboring Terrebonne Parish. It also held cash and a digital scale, while the other bag held the drug Suboxone and suspected methamphetamine, according to the statement.

Surveillance cameras got photos of the man and deputies hope to identify him.

“We haven’t positively identified him ... but have gotten a couple tips already,” Matherne said after the release and photos were posted on the sheriff’s web and Facebook pages. “These images are pretty good, so we feel confident we’ll be able to get him identified.”

TME – A hot bag is a troublesome sign.

Furniture store sleepover

RICHMOND HEIGHTS, Mo. - A woman is a little embarrassed, but well rested, after falling asleep testing a mattress at a Missouri store and spending the night there.

Richmond Heights Police Officer Allison Brown told the St. Louis Post-Dispatch that officers were called to the undisclosed store shortly before 8 a.m. Tuesday after a worker found the woman wandering inside the business prior to its opening.

The woman told police she had been trying out a display mattress the evening before and must have fallen asleep. Police posted on social media that it was “the best mattress endorsement we’ve ever heard.”

Store operators declined to press charges.

TME – Seriously - how can you not want to buy that mattress?

Holy crap

WHITEWATER, Wis. - A retiring Wisconsin English teacher cited for defecating in a public park for two years told authorities he was “being an idiot” and that he did it for convenience and to be disrespectful.

Jeffrey S. Churchwell, who is retiring from Milton School District later this month, will have to pay $365 in fines plus $5,705 in restitution to the Public Works Department, which cleaned up after him.

The Janesville Gazette reported Tuesday it found out about the case through an open records request of sheriff’s office reports. The reports indicated Churchwell had been defecating outside of and on a building at Natureland Park in the town of Whitewater, sometimes several times per day, since 2017.

Authorities caught Churchwell on Oct. 8 when a deputy spotted Churchwell’s vehicle and stopped him as he drove into the park. That day, sheriff’s deputies had already spoken to a worker at the Walworth County Highway Shop who complained about someone defecating on a park building and leaving used toilet paper behind. The worker showed deputies photos from trail cameras that showed a man defecating in the park. The pictures also showed Churchwell’s car parked nearby and a partial plate number, which was used to identify Churchwell.

When the deputy pulled over Churchwell driving into the park, the retiring teacher said he didn’t know why he was being stopped. But deputies asked if it would help to show him pictures of why he was being stopped, Churchwell hung his head and said, “going to the bathroom.” Asked what that meant and if it was in a park bathroom, Churchwell responded “a No. 2” by the park building without a bathroom. He also acknowledged he occasionally defecates in the park on the way to school.

A day after his arrest, Churchwell wrote to the sheriff’s deputy who stopped him and apologized and said he realizes he made a mistake.

“I’m so disappointed in myself,” Churchwell said in an email. “I have the great opportunity to teach `Political Rhetoric.’ . In this class, I stress the importance of involved citizenship. And then there I am being a lousy citizen of Walworth County,” he said, adding that he’s sickened by his hypocrisy.

“As well, after REALLY thinking about why I did what I did,” the email continued, “I came to the conclusion that I allowed my thrill-seeking, self-indulgent pride and ego both get the best of me.”

TME – This is the greatest story in the history of Weird National Briefs.

Incandescent proposal

HOWELL, N.J. - A man who set off fireworks near a movie theater as his friend made a marriage proposal created panic among moviegoers who mistook the fireworks for gunshots, leading to 911 calls and an evacuation, authorities said.

Howell Township police responded to the Xscape Theater around 6 p.m. Wednesday and soon learned the theater manager had confronted a man who had lighted fireworks outside another business near the theater, authorities said.

The remnants of the fireworks were located, and it was determined that no shots had been fired.

A 23-year-old Lakewood man told police he had set off the fireworks as part of his friend’s marriage proposal at the other business.

While noting there was no intent to cause panic at the theater, a post on the Howell police Facebook page stated that “obviously this was a very poor decision rather than an overt act.”

The Lakewood man was charged with a fireworks infraction and disorderly conduct.

No injuries were reported.

TME – He totally blew it.

Last modified on Tuesday, 07 January 2020 07:00

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