Tuesday, 04 June 2019 15:16

Weird National Briefs (06/05/2019)

Written by Allen Adams

Later gator

CLEARWATER, Fla. - Authorities say an 11-foot alligator busted through a kitchen window and broke several bottles of red wine in a Florida home before it was captured.

Police tweeted that the gator was removed from Mary Wischhusen’s Clearwater condominium early Friday. No one was injured.

Wischhusen uses a walker. She told news outlets that the moment she saw the lumbering reptile, she moved into her bedroom, closed the door and called police.

She says she played computer games while waiting for help to arrive.

Wischhusen says it took two trappers and 10 police officers two hours to get the alligator out of the home, where she has lived for almost four decades.

TME – Lucky it wasn’t a crocodile – they drink scotch.

Wednesday, 29 May 2019 11:10

Celebrity Slam - Moby dick

Written by Allen Adams

Anyone who reads this space with any kind of regularity knows that there are a few wells that we return to again and again. We love beef, obviously – the spicier the better. And if one or more of the parties involved is considerably more famous than the other, well … sign us up.

Another favorite topic of Celebrity Slam conversation is the celebrity romance. We sure do love it when famous folks wind up in relationships. We love speculating on how long they will last and on whether it’s a real thing or simply a publicity stunt. Of course, our absolute favorite is embracing the opportunity to generate celebrity couple names – we are known the world over for our love of portmanteaux.

But there’s one particularly rare beast out there that we have never had the opportunity to explore here in this space. In many ways, it is our white whale, a nigh-mythical being that combines our two favorite things into a single Slammable entity. For years, we searched, unsure if such a thing even existed, yet unable to walk away. We were Don Quixote, tilting at windmills on our fruitless quest. We were Ahab, obsessed over something that may well have existed only in the synaptic swirl of our half-madness.

This week, we found it. Ladies and gentlemen, it is real … and it is spectacular.

Wednesday, 29 May 2019 11:08

Weird National Briefs (05/29/2019)

Written by Allen Adams

If at first you don’t succeed …

FRANKLIN, N.H. - A New Hampshire man has been accused of stealing two cars in the same day.

Sixty-one-year-old Carl Wescott, of Franklin, was arrested Wednesday after police found a woman’s car that she said was stolen at a car wash. Police said the driver departed at a high rate of speed, leading them on a chase. The vehicle eventually crashed into the woods in Franklin.

Wescott was identified as the driver and was jailed on charges of receiving stolen property, robbery, reckless conduct, disobeying an officer, and driving with a suspended license. He was arraigned Thursday and held without bail. It wasn’t immediately known if he had a lawyer.

Earlier Wednesday, Wescott was arrested in Laconia on a charge of possession of a stolen rental vehicle. He had been released on personal recognizance bail.

TME – You have to admire the man’s drive.

Wednesday, 22 May 2019 11:39

Celebrity Slam - Commitments and dropkicks

Written by Allen Adams

Our love for celebrity couples in this space is well-known at this point. No one digs on a famous romance quite like we do – we’re all about the portmanteaus! Most of the time, these pairings fizzle out after a few months; the truth is that celebs hook up and break up all the time. So when it looks like something’s going to have some legs, we love to celebrate it.

To that end – congratulations to Scarlett Johansson and Colin Jost on their engagement.

Wednesday, 22 May 2019 11:37

Weird National Briefs (05/22/2019)

Written by Allen Adams

Valuable vino

LONDON - A British restaurant has given some customers an unexpected treat, accidentally serving them a 4,500-pound ($5,760) bottle of red wine.

The Hawksmoor Manchester said on Twitter it hoped the diners “enjoyed your evening” after getting the 2001 bottle of Chateau le Pin Pomerol instead of the 260-pound ($333) bottle they had ordered of Chateau Pichon Longueville Comtesse de Lalande 2001.

A restaurant spokeswoman says “it was a very busy night at the restaurant and a very simple mistake. A member of staff picked up the wrong bottle” of Bordeaux. The restaurant told the employee that “one-off mistakes happen” and added “we love you anyway.”

The report sparked a flurry of amused responses on Twitter, with many people asking for a table served by the same waiter and others praising Hawksmoor for its comments to its employee.

Tasting notes for Chateau le Pin Pomerol on note the wine’s deep ruby/plum/purple color and read: “A tremendous effort ... an extraordinary perfume of creme de cassis, cherry liqueur, plums, licorice, caramel and sweet toast.”

TME – At least no one is whining about it.

Wednesday, 15 May 2019 13:44

Celebrity Slam - Nama-steal

Written by Allen Adams

The items covered in this space tend to run the gamut. Sure, we tend to focus largely on beef and/or romance – we do so adore addressing the relationship dynamics that come with celebrity – but every once in a while, something comes along that is just plain weird. And while we love the usual fare, it’s fun to occasionally venture in a different direction with regards to the stories that we share.

And boy oh boy do we have a doozy for you this week. See, there’s weird … and then there’s WEIRD. And this time around, we’re definitely looking at the latter. Not that you’ll be the least bit surprised once you find out who our subject is.

Dennis Rodman.

In a story that would be too surreal and absurd to believe were it to feature almost anyone else, the Los Angeles Times reported that Rodman and some associates entered the Hot Vibes Yoga Studio in Newport Beach on two separate occasions and stole a whole bunch of merchandise.

Wednesday, 15 May 2019 13:42

Weird National Briefs (05/15/2019)

Written by Allen Adams

Grass harassed

DUNEDIN, Fla. - It's true, a Florida man says his grass grew a little too tall. But he doesn't think he should lose his house over it.

The city of Dunedin moved to foreclose on the home of 69-year-old Jim Ficken over $30,000 in unpaid code violation fines. The Tampa Bay Times reports that Ficken was fined $500 a day last summer because his grass was taller than 10 inches.

Ficken filed a lawsuit against the city seeking a nominal $1 in damages, relief from fines and an end to the city's practice of fining people without considering ability to pay.

Last summer, Ficken says he was away for lengthy periods managing the estate of his deceased mother in South Carolina. Ficken says the man paid to mow his lawn then died unexpectedly.

TME – And God help you if you paint your garage the wrong shade of beige.

Wednesday, 08 May 2019 11:02

Celebrity Slam - What is beef?

Written by Allen Adams

Another week, another beef. We sure do love it when famous people get into squabbles with one another, because it makes our jobs here at Celebrity Slam so much easier. We just love really leaning into these celebrity feuds and finding out what’s what. We love to throw around some scorn and derision, you know?

Sometimes, however, we don’t have any interest in scorning or deriding a beef. These are the beefs that are clearly all in good fun, with tongues planted firmly in cheeks. While genuine antipathy is obviously entertaining, there’s something to be said for two people getting in some gentle digs while beefing in a more performative way.

And that’s why this week, we’re going to talk about the goofy non-beef beef between James Holzhauer and Ken Jennings.

That’s right, folks – “Jeopardy!” beef!

Wednesday, 08 May 2019 11:00

Weird National Briefs (05/08/2019)

Written by Allen Adams

Hot to trot

FRANKFURT, Germany - Not far from the glass and steel towers of Germany’s banking capital, a 22-year-old Arabian mare is causing a stir with her languid daily strolls through a Frankfurt neighborhood.

Owner Werner Weischedel says his old nag Jenny, who’s recently found social media fame after a local news show about it went viral, has been taking her 20-kilometer daily jaunts for 14 years - preferring to escape the confines of her home field to nibble on tasty vegetation on the Main river banks.

“Everybody knows her,” the 79-year-old said Tuesday.

Jenny ambles along cobblestone streets and pedestrian paths, avoiding joggers, families and vehicles.

Surprised newcomers occasionally call authorities, so she wears a note on her neck: “My name is Jenny, I didn’t run away, I’m just going for a walk.”

TME – Just your standard equestrian pedestrian.

Wednesday, 01 May 2019 09:49

Celebrity Slam - Blac Chyna's all business

Written by Allen Adams

We here at Celebrity Slam are great admirers of those who attempt to better themselves. It’s noble to want to improve oneself and we would never denigrate anyone for making every effort to do so.

And if that’s all it is, well – you won’t be hearing from us.

However, our stories come from the celebrity realm. And the truth is that celebrities aren’t always possessed of the traits that lend themselves to simple self-improvement. There are always going to be those famous folks who wind up making a mess even when their initial intentions are good ones.

This brings us to the saga of Blac Chyna and Harvard Business School.

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