Wednesday, 04 September 2019 10:56

Weird National Briefs (09/04/2019)

Written by Allen Adams

Bigfoot bridge

BRADFORD, Vt. - An anonymous flyer denying that Bigfoot is behind the prolonged closure of a bridge in a Vermont town has got locals talking about the mythical forest creatures.

The flyer first spotted at the Bradford post office said the prolonged closure of the Creamery Bridge over the Waits River was not due to the “displacement of or intrusion on a ‘Sasquatch’ or Bigfoot, either a single creature or several.”

Last week Dartmouth College Professor Alexander Chee posted a photo of the flyer to Twitter . Since then, copies have been popping up across town.

Local resident Claudia Johnson tells MyNBC5 she thinks there’s a local Bigfoot because she’s heard unexplained rustling behind her home.

State transportation officials say the bridge is scheduled to be fixed in October.

TME – Open your eyes, people – it’s obviously a Yeti.

Tuesday, 27 August 2019 15:41

Celebrity Slam - Pete Davidson yells at cloud

Written by Allen Adams

We’ve been known to occasionally get a little crotchety here at Celebrity Slam. We’ve been at this for some time now and the world is constantly changing and evolving. What mattered yesterday is forgotten today and nostalgically embraced tomorrow. Do we like change? Not really. But we begrudgingly accept it.

That said, we’re still susceptible to an “old man yells at cloud” moment every now and then. However, when we have them, we tend not to do so in a public forum.

Pete Davidson, on the other hand …

Wednesday, 21 August 2019 09:27

Celebrity Slam - Homewrecking ball

Written by Allen Adams

Our love for celebrity romances knows no bounds here at Celebrity Slam. Anyone who reads this space with any kind of regularity is aware that we derive great joy from the creation of famous couple portmanteaus. We love them so much, in fact, that we often find ourselves unable to address the endings of those relationships. Really, we’re just big softies. Romantics at heart.

But here’s the thing: we’re only human. And sometimes, one of these breakups blows up in such a spectacular fashion that we would not be doing our due diligence if we didn’t at least kick the tires.

And so we arrive at the ongoing breakup saga of Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth.

Wednesday, 21 August 2019 09:26

Weird National Briefs (08/21/2019)

Written by Allen Adams

Cop drama

HICKSVILLE, N.Y. - Police in the New York City suburbs say they’ve arrested a fake cop who tried to pull over real detectives.

Nassau County police say Valiery Portlock sounded a horn and flashed emergency lights Friday morning as he an attempt to pull over a van in Hicksville, Long Island.

The unmarked van turned out to be occupied by detectives from the department’s electronics squad.

Police say that once the detectives identified themselves and approached his vehicle, the 25-year-old Portlock swerved his Nissan Sentra into oncoming traffic and sped to the Long Island Expressway.

Police say highway patrol officers eventually pulled Portlock over and arrested him without incident.

He is in custody pending arraignment Saturday on charges including criminal impersonation and reckless endangerment. Court records do not list a lawyer who could comment on his behalf.

TME – He don’t need no stinking badges.

Tuesday, 13 August 2019 14:58

Celebrity Slam - Kid Rock in a hard place

Written by Allen Adams

One of the things we love most about working in this space every week is that you never really know what’s going to happen. The sorts of celebrities we tend to deal with are mercurial by their very nature, meaning that we can never be certain of just how things are going to play out. There are plenty of unexpected romantic pairings and LOADS of unexpected beef.

We’ll be dealing with the latter this week, though if you spent any amount of time online this weekend, you likely already know where we’re going with this – we’ve got beef between Kid Rock and Taylor Swift.

You read that right.

Tuesday, 13 August 2019 14:56

Weird National Briefs (08/14/2019)

Written by Allen Adams

Ursine of the times

DENVER - A black bear broke into a Colorado house over the weekend and left by breaking through a wall “like the Kool-Aid Man.”

Estes Park police say the break-in occurred Friday night and that the animal was likely attracted to trash.

A Facebook post by the police department said: “Upon officer’s arrival, said bear forcibly breached a hole in the wall like the `Kool-Aid Man’ and made its escape.”

The Denver Post reports no one was injured.

Colorado Parks and Wildlife said bears entered over 35 vehicles and nine residences in the Estes Park area in the 10 days before Aug. 3. Residents were encouraged to close and lock all doors and windows to homes and vehicles.

TME – And for the love of God, hide your picnic baskets.

Tuesday, 06 August 2019 16:05

Celebrity Slam - A bone to pick with Aaron Carter

Written by Allen Adams

We have a lot of fun here at Celebrity Slam. There’s a lot of enjoyment to be had from taking potshots at the idiocy of the rich and famous. We love tossing out liberal doses of scorn and derision at the stupid things that celebrities say and do. But it’s all in good fun.

Every once in a while, though, an item lands on our radar that we find genuinely off-putting. Granted, we don’t tend to delve into the seedy and sad behaviors of celebs – there are certain things that simply aren’t funny, and so we tend to avoid them – but there are occasionally stories that are both unpleasant and very much worthy of our attention.

And this week, we’ve got one.

Specifically, we’re going to talk about Aaron Carter. Why are we talking about Aaron Carter? Because word on the street is that he’s got some sort of d-bag grift going involving dogs – and we will not have anyone mistreating dogs, because dogs are the best thing and they deserve to be loved, not exploited.

Tuesday, 06 August 2019 16:03

Weird National Briefs (08/07/2019)

Written by Tim Bissell

Ambulance chasers

GASTONIA, N.C. - A North Carolina man has been charged with stealing an ambulance from a hospital parking bay and leading police on a high-speed chase.

News outlets report that the ambulance belonging to the Dallas Rescue Squad was taken from CaroMont Regional Medical Center Friday night.

Police charged 29-year-old Joshua Kyle Poindexter of Kings Mountain with larceny of a motor vehicle, fleeing to elude arrest, failing to heed a siren and reckless driving.

Authorities say GPS software allowed police to track the stolen ambulance. They said Poindexter led police on a chase that exceeded the speed limit by 15 mph (24 km/h) before he was arrested in Cherryville, almost 20 miles (32 km) away.

No one was injured.

TME – Maybe his emergency was getting away from the cops?

Tuesday, 30 July 2019 14:33

Celebrity Slam - Hammer toes

Written by Allen Adams

We have a type here at Celebrity Slam. You all know it. We love feuds and we love romances. Beefs and portmanteaus – that’s what we’re here for.

That’s not all of it, of course. There’s plenty of room for more individualized buffoonery – famous people saying and doing idiotic things for idiotic reasons, that sort of deal.

But then there’s the stuff that’s just … weird. Stuff that doesn’t really fit in any of the other boxes but still very much needs to be addressed.

Yeah – we’re going to have to talk about that Armie Hammer video.

Tuesday, 30 July 2019 14:31

Weird National Briefs (07/31/2019)

Written by Allen Adams

Later gator!

MIAMI - Officials say a trapper was called after a 9-foot-long alligator was spotted walking along a sidewalk in a South Florida neighborhood.

Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission spokeswoman Katie Purcell tells news outlets that the reptile was reported Friday morning in a neighborhood west of Coral Gables.

Someone posted video of the animal to an Instagram account called “onlyindade.” It’s received more than 100,000 views.

FWC hired a nuisance alligator trapper to remove the animal. It wasn’t clear if it would be relocated or killed.

TME – He’ll be back – after a while.

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