Tuesday, 02 March 2021 10:42

Weird National Briefs (03/03/2021)

Written by Allen Adams

Smooth operator

SACRAMENTO, Calif. (AP) — The Medical Board of California said it would investigate a plastic surgeon who appeared in a videoconference for his traffic violation trial while operating.

The Sacramento Bee reports Dr. Scott Green appeared Thursday for his Sacramento Superior Court trial, held virtually because of the coronavirus pandemic, from an operating room. He was dressed in surgical scrubs with a patient undergoing the procedure just out of view; the beeps of medical machinery can be heard in the background.

“Hello, Mr. Green? Hi. Are you available for trial?” asked a courtroom clerk as an officer summoned to appear in trial raised her eyebrows. “It kind of looks like you’re in an operating room right now?”

“I am, sir,” Green replied. “Yes, I’m in an operating room right now. Yes, I’m available for trial. Go right ahead.”

The clerk reminded Green the proceedings were being livestreamed because traffic trials are required by law to be open to the public, and Green said he understood. He appeared to continue working with his head down while waiting for Court Commissioner Gary Link to enter the chamber.

When Link appeared and saw the doctor on the screen, the judge hesitated to proceed with the trial out of concern for the welfare of the patient.

“I have another surgeon right here who’s doing the surgery with me, so I can stand here and allow them to do the surgery also,” Green said.

The judge said he didn’t think it was appropriate to conduct trial under the circumstances. He told Green he’d rather set a new date for trial “when you’re not actively involved or participating and attending to the needs of a patient.”

Green apologized.

“Sometimes, surgery doesn’t always go as,” he said before the judge interrupted him.

“It happens. We want to keep people healthy, we want to keep them alive. That’s important,” Link said.

The board said it would look into the incident, saying it “expects physicians to follow the standard of care when treating their patients.”

TME – Could be worse – at least he wasn’t present in court and performing surgery remotely.

Wednesday, 24 February 2021 12:51

Celebrity Slam - Kimye kaput

Written by Allen Adams

Look, there was no chance we were going to talk about anything else in this space this week. We’re talking about one of the iconic celebrity marriages (not to mention an all-time great of a portmanteau); our fundamental ethos demands that we talk about the dissolution of this union.

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are calling it quits.

Wednesday, 24 February 2021 12:49

Weird National Briefs (02/24/2021)

Written by Allen Adams

Mobile home

SAN FRANCISCO (AP) — After 139 years at 807 Franklin St. in San Francisco, a two-story Victorian house has a new address.

The green home with large windows and a brown front door was loaded onto giant dollies and moved Sunday to a location six blocks away.

Onlookers lined the sidewalks to snap photos as the structure rolled — at a top speed of 1 mph — to 635 Fulton St.

The house’s journey has been in the planning stages for years, the San Francisco Chronicle reported.

Veteran house mover Phil Joy told the newspaper he had to secure permits from more than 15 city agencies.

Joy said this move is tricky in part because the first part of the journey involves going downhill.

“That’s always difficult for a house,” he said.

Along the route, parking meters were ripped up, tree limbs were trimmed and traffic signs were relocated.

The owner of the six-bedroom house, San Francisco broker Tim Brown, will pay about $400,000 in fees and moving costs, the Chronicle said.

TME – Moving is different in San Francisco.

Wednesday, 17 February 2021 12:58

Celebrity Slam - Fresh beef!

Written by Allen Adams

We’ve had an interesting run over the last few weeks here at Celebrity Slam. We’ve strayed a bit from the standard fare in this space, opting instead for memorial postings and some next-level weirdness like Lil Uzi Vert jamming a diamond into his head. It wasn’t a conscious choice – we just go where the famous people take us.

Happily, we have a couple of hip-hop dudes getting into it in Miami, allowing us to return to our Celebrity Slam roots and digging into some delicious beef.

This time, we’re looking at a boiling over in a longstanding conflict between Meek Mill and Tekashi 6ix9ine (that name will never not be ridiculous to type). The two have long had it in for each other, so when they crossed paths this weekend, sparks were bound to fly.

Wednesday, 17 February 2021 12:56

Weird National Briefs (02/17/2021)

Written by Allen Adams

Otherwise engaged

ORANGE CITY, Fla. (AP) — A Florida man stole an engagement ring and wedding bands from a girlfriend and used them to propose to another girlfriend, according to authorities.

Volusia County Sheriff’s deputies said Thursday they have issued an arrest warrant for Joseph Davis, 48, who had not been found as of Friday.

Their investigation started earlier this year when a woman from Orange City, Florida, told detectives she had discovered her boyfriend was actually engaged to someone else. When she looked up the fiancée’s Facebook page, she noticed a photo of her wearing a wedding band and engagement ring that was identical to her own from a prior marriage, the sheriff’s office said in a news release.

When the Orange City woman checked her jewelry box, she found her rings were missing, as were several other pieces of jewelry, including a diamond ring that belonged to her grandmother. The total value of the stolen property was about $6,270, according to the sheriff’s office.

Orange City is located halfway between Orlando and Daytona Beach.

The Orange City woman reached out to the fiancee, who returned some of the items, and they both called it off with Davis, who also went by the names “Joe Brown” and “Marcus Brown,” the sheriff’s office said.

The fiancee, who lives in Orlando, told detectives she had been duped too.

Davis once took the fiancee to a house that actually belonged to the Orange City woman, while she was at work, and claimed it was his. He then asked the fiancee to move in with him, but he then disappeared. By that time, the fiancee discovered her laptop computer and jewelry were missing, the sheriff’s office said.

Even though they did not have his real name, the jilted women remembered he had a relative in North Carolina and detectives were able to track down the relative who identified Davis, according to the sheriff’s office.

Davis has an active arrest warrant for a hit-and-run crash with injuries in Oregon, and previously has been arrested for possession of fictitious ID, filing a false police report, domestic assault and possession of cocaine with intent to sell, the sheriff’s office said.

According to the sheriff’s office, the jail where Davis previously was booked noted he had a tattoo on his left arm that said, “Only God can judge me.”

TME – Something borrowed indeed.

Wednesday, 10 February 2021 13:16

Celebrity Slam - Diamond in the fore of his head

Written by Allen Adams

When you’ve been doing this for as long as I have, it’s easy to think that you’ve seen everything. Sure, the details change, but in terms of the broader picture, there just can’t be THAT many ways for famous people to be idiots. Again – there are shifts in specifics (and the specifics are by far the most fun part of the whole thing), but the basic fundamental stuff is the same.

Twitter beefs, hookups and breakups, “don’t you know who I am?” – all pretty standard.

But just when you think you’ve got this whole deal figured out and that there’s nothing new under the sun, Lil Uzi Vert has a giant pink diamond surgically implanted in his forehead and you realize that you don’t know anything at all about anything at all.

I mean … just read that last sentence again. I’ll wait.

Wednesday, 10 February 2021 13:15

Weird National Briefs (02/10/2021)

Written by Allen Adams

Friends to the end

SAN ANTONIO (AP) — Rest assured, “Chucky” is not on the loose.

The Texas Department of Public Safety has apologized after mistakenly issuing an Amber Alert that said the killer doll featured in the 1988 horror film “Child’s Play” was a suspect in the kidnapping of his 5-year-old son, Glen Ray, who was featured in “Seed of Chucky.”

The emergency alert described Chucky as a 3-foot, 1-inch-tall (0.9-meter-tall) doll wearing “blue denim overalls with multi-colored striped long sleeve shirt wielding a huge kitchen knife.”

The alert was mistakenly sent out three times last week to Amber Alert subscribers. The agency said it was a test malfunction.

TME – Malfunction. Sure. That’s how the evil dolls lull you into a false sense of security.

Wednesday, 03 February 2021 13:45

Celebrity Slam - To Screech their own

Written by Allen Adams

Anyone who follows Celebrity Slam with regularity knows that there are a few things that we particularly enjoy. We love Twitter beef – particularly when the beefers don’t necessarily make sense together. We love celebrity coupling and uncoupling, so that we can make up fancy portmanteaux and then deconstruct them. And we love a good old-fashioned “Don’t you know who I am?”

But we also like to occasionally use this space to pay tribute to those who have left us – particularly if it is someone at whose expense we’ve had some fun over the years.

Dustin Diamond – best known as Screech from the Saturday morning classic “Saved By the Bell” – passed away this week at the age of 44 following a brief stint in the hospital. The actor’s representatives announced just a couple of weeks ago that Diamond had been dealing with cancer.

Wednesday, 03 February 2021 13:44

Weird National Briefs (02/03/2021)

Written by Allen Adams

On the air

BERLIN (AP) — A man has been arrested in Berlin on allegations he made radio contact with air traffic, including police helicopters, and gave fake flight orders while impersonating an aviation official, German police said Friday.

The 32-year-old, whose identity wasn’t released in line with German privacy laws, was arrested Thursday night in the capital’s eastern Koepenick district, police said.

Police were able to swoop in on his apartment after he made contact with a police helicopter that was dispatched to the neighborhood in the hope of flushing him out.

During a search of his home, police found two radios that transmitted on the frequencies needed to make contact with aircraft.

“For everyone who has been asking about our police helicopter operations in Koepenick, an unusual arrest,” Berlin police tweeted, with a link to more details.

The man is alleged to have made contact with pilots of passenger and transport aircraft, as well as state and federal police helicopters, over the past six months, giving “potentially dangerous” instructions and becoming increasingly professional with his communications.

No accidents or other incidents are known to have been caused by his actions, police said.

TME – He probably has kids and is just your standard helicopter parent.

Wednesday, 27 January 2021 13:35

Celebrity Slam Musings

Written by Allen Adams

So we’re going to start this week’s Celebrity Slam off on a bit of a somber note, but please bear with up – it’s going to get weird and (we hope) funny as we move along.

Last week saw the passing of a true broadcasting great when Larry King died at the age of 87. King was known for many things – his conversational interview style, his ubiquitous suspenders-and-bow-tie combo, his plethora of marriages – but few who crossed his path over the years denied his contributions to the industry.

One of King’s longest-running offerings was his weekly musings column that graced the pages of USA Today for nearly two decades, from 1982 to 2001. It was a collection of quick hits and snippets, a collection of political, entertainment and personal observations loosely connected by a whole mess of ellipses.

This week, to honor Larry King, welcome to Celebrity Slam Musings, a loving parody of/homage to one of the greats.

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