Thursday, 30 July 2020 12:52

Celebrity Slam - Beer pong and Bentleys

Written by Allen Adams

Fame is a funny thing. When a person achieves a certain level of fame, fortune and/or notoriety, the world in which they exist irrevocably changes. At that point, the force of their celebrity complete annihilates their perspective. They live in a bubble of sorts, one in which theirs is the only opinion that matters. It’s undoubtedly heavy stuff and probably makes perspective tough to come by.

There are many ways in which this in likely unhealthy, but one of the biggest is also one of the simplest: When you’re really famous, no one is going to tell you that your ideas are bad, even (or especially) if they actually are bad.

This brings us to noted musician/face tattoo aficionado Post Malone, who is in the early stages of executing one of these potentially wrongheaded ideas. Now, we’re not talking about buying a boat or opening a restaurant or becoming a cryptocurrency bro or any of the usual bad choices. This is something altogether different, something that is almost certainly a terrible idea but has a tiny chance to actually turn out brilliantly.

Post Malone wants to start a beer pong league. A global, professional beer pong league.

Thursday, 30 July 2020 12:51

Weird National Briefs (07/29/2020)

Written by Allen Adams

Rescue(d) dog

LONDON (AP) — St. Bernards are known for helping to rescue distressed travelers in the mountains, but the tables were turned Sunday in northern England.

Sixteen volunteers from the Wasdale mountain rescue team took turns carrying Daisy, a 121-pound (55 kilogram) St Bernard, from England’s highest peak, Scafell Pike. The mountain rescue team spent nearly five hours rescuing Daisy, who had collapsed Friday evening while descending the mountain with her owners.

Rescue workers said Daisy was displaying signs of pain in her rear legs and was refusing to move. After consulting with a veterinarian’s office, they administered some pain relief and adjusted their stretcher, which is designed for humans, to be more dog-friendly. They also packed a few treats to help settle her down.

“Having team members with their own pampered pooches at home, and also our much-adored search dog Jess, we recognize the distress that both an animal can feel and also that of their owners,” the team said.

They said Daisy was recovering from her ordeal.

Scafell Pike, 978 meters (3,209 feet) above sea level, is located in the Lake District National Park in Cumbria.

The Wasdale Mountain Rescue team relies on donations to fund their mountain safety efforts.

TME – We assume the rescue team was wearing little barrels of brandy around their necks.

Wednesday, 15 July 2020 14:55

Celebrity Slam - On da patio

Written by Allen Adams

As we continue to deal with the ramifications of the pandemic, it’s important for us to do what we can to maintain some degree of normalcy. Yes, circumstances prevent us from living our lives exactly as we did before, but when the opportunity arises for us to safely do something that reminds us of our old lives, we should embrace it.

This is as true for the rich and famous as it is for us regular folks. Celebrities are left to deal with the new reality just as we are. One imagines that many of them are also looking for things – large and small – that remind them of the way things used to be. For some, that is going for a walk at a beloved spot or grabbing takeout from a favorite restaurant.

For 50 Cent, it’s flipping tables and getting into fights.

Wednesday, 15 July 2020 14:50

Weird National Briefs (07/15/2020)

Written by Allen Adams

Super Mario Dollars

DALLAS (AP) — An unopened copy of a vintage Super Mario Bros. video game has been sold for $114,000 in an auction that underscored the enduring popularity of entertainment created decades ago.

A bidder who wished to remain anonymous snapped up an early version of the pioneering Super Mario Bros. game released in 1985 for Nintendo’s NES console during an auction conducted Friday by Dallas-based Heritage Auctions.

The $114,000 price eclipsed Heritage Auctions’ previous record amount for a video game, which was a $100,150 bid made early last year for an unopened copy of the same game.

The Super Mario Bros. copy that sold for a new record was part of a collection of video games from the 1980s and 1990s that sold to various buyers for nearly $700,000, which was well above Heritage Auction’s initial target of about $500,000. Other titles auctioned off included “Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!” a 1987 video game based on the former former heavyweight boxing champion, that sold for $50,400.

TME – I assume Bowser expects a cut.

Thursday, 02 July 2020 11:39

Celebrity Slam - Grip it and rip it

Written by Allen Adams

Hello friends! We have returned!

Now that The Maine Edge is back in print, we here at Celebrity Slam have decided to make our way back as well. The truth is that in these trying times, it’s good to be able to have a laugh or two – particularly at the expense of the rich and famous, who despite everything going on in the world still manage to find time to say and do dumb and/or goofy things.

This week’s entry might not have as much star power as we usually see in this space, but it more than makes up for it in sheer joyous silliness. Believe it or not, we’re hitting the PGA links.

Specifically, we’re talking about the Travelers Championship, which took place over the weekend. And we’re talking about Ian Poulter, a veteran of professional golf with a decorated career. Why are we talking about Ian Poulter, you may ask?

Well … let’s just say that he gave a whole new meaning to the golf adage “grip it and rip it.”

Thursday, 02 July 2020 11:37

Weird National Briefs (07/01/2020)

Written by Allen Adams

Whose kid is this?

ODESSA, Fla. (AP) — A Florida woman has filed a lawsuit seeking either a paternity test on her goats or a refund — and she’s not kidding.

Kris Hedstrom filed the suit against her neighbor, Heather Dayner, last month seeking DNA for the goats she purchased. Hedstrom paid Dayner $900 for five Nigerian dwarf goats in December.

According to the lawsuit, Hedstrom believed the goats — Bella, Gigi, Rosie, Zelda and Margoat — could be registered with the American Dairy Goat Association, a group that records goat pedigrees. Registered goats have higher values than unregistered goats.

Dayner, who has been selling goats at Baxter Lane Farm for about 10 years, typically provides information to her clients so they can register their animals themselves.

She said the father goat was registered, but the Tampa Bay Times reports the American Dairy Goat Association rejected Hedstrom’s application to register the babies because Dayner is not an active member.

Proving paternity would require about 40 of the father goat’s hair follicles for a DNA test, so Hedstrom wrote Dayner a letter requesting the DNA in February.

Dayner offered to refund the money in exchange for the goats.

She said Hedstrom called police on her for three months straight and has trespassed on her farm. A Hillsborough County Sheriff’s deputy visited the property at least three times in the spring.

Dayner said she didn’t hear anything else from Hedstrom until the lawsuit was filed.

TME – Someone get Maury Povich’s people on the phone ASAP.

Wednesday, 18 March 2020 12:03

Weird National Briefs (03/18/2020)

Written by Allen Adams

Sudsy spree

BATON ROUGE, La. (AP) — A Louisiana couple accused of swiping more than $1,000 worth of beer from the shelves of Target stores was arrested on theft charges Sunday, sheriff’s office records show.

East Baton Rouge Sheriff’s deputies began investigating the beer burglaries last week, according to the agency. The couple made six runs to two Baton Rouge Target locations less than 10 miles (16 kilometers) apart between Feb. 24 and 29, according to sheriff’s office documents obtained by news outlets.

Ashley Forbes, 32, and her husband, Matthew Forbes, 35, were captured on security cameras filling shopping baskets with cases of beer before slipping out of the stores without paying, The Advocate reported, citing the sheriff’s records.

Authorities said the two were arrested Sunday after they attempted to steal additional merchandise from other stores, including a drill that Matthew Forbes tried to smuggle out in his pants at a Walmart, according to WBRZ-TV. Ashley Forbes was also reportedly caught returning items she hadn’t paid for at a Walmart, the station said. The two had been banned from similar stores previously, according to news outlets.

The couple was booked into jail on theft charges, and Ashley Forbes also faces drug charges, records show.

TME – Alas, a pants drill too far…

Wednesday, 11 March 2020 12:47

Celebrity Slam - Incredible Journey

Written by Allen Adams

Full disclosure: we love us some celebrity conflict here at the Slam.

Obviously, we’re not looking for people to get genuinely hurt or anything like that. But beef is good for business in this space and we’re not ashamed to say so. Sure, we have some fun with romances and famous couple portmanteaux and all that jazz, but beef is our bread and butter.

And while we love a good Twitter beef between seemingly unconnected celebs (the absurdity factor is through the roof), it’s tough to do better that watching things blow up between people who have known (and loathed) one another for a long time.

With that – let’s talk about Journey.

Wednesday, 11 March 2020 12:45

Weird National Briefs (03/11/2020)

Written by Allen Adams

Pet mayor

FAIR HAVEN, Vt. - A town in Vermont elected a dog as its pet mayor on Wednesday.

Murfee won the race in Fair Haven, WCAX-TV reported. The therapy dog beat out the incumbent goat, Mayor Mara Lincoln, and K-9 Sammy, a town police dog. Eight eighth graders counted 350 ballots Wednesday morning to determine the winner.

The pet mayor race aims to raise money for a new playground and get children interested in politics.

Murfee visits nursing homes, schools and hospitals as part of Caring Canines Therapy Dogs of Southern Vermont.

TME – Next step, Pet Representative and then, who knows? Pet President?

Tuesday, 03 March 2020 11:59

Celebrity Slam - Fight the power

Written by Allen Adams

We don’t have many rules here at Celebrity Slam. For the most part, we allow ourselves free reign to mock and deride the famous for whatever nonsense and/or shenanigans they get up to. However, there are a couple of areas that we tend to try and steer clear of.

For instance, when people are genuinely hurt, physically or otherwise, we’re not interested. We’re here to have fun, and the truth is that there are some things – abuse, violence, etc. – that simply aren’t funny. And since we’re here to laugh … yeah. Pass.

We also generally avoid the political realm. That’s not because these people aren’t constantly putting their respective feet in it – they totally are – but we fancy ourselves as an escape of sorts. We don’t love the idea of the real world intruding on the churning whirlpool of good-natured snark we generate here.

However – rules are made to be broken.

We went back and forth about whether to address this story due to the political elements contained therein, but ultimately, we decided to go with it. The truth is, the politics are just a small part of the story, the lit fuse that led to a ridiculous detonation.

Yeah – we’re going to talk about Public Enemy. Specifically, we’re going to talk about the fact that founding member and hype man extraordinaire Flavor Flav has been kicked out of the band.

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