Wednesday, 28 July 2021 11:57

Weird National Briefs (07/28/2021)

Written by Allen Adams

Wheels down

GORHAM (AP) — An airplane’s landing gear fell from the sky onto a golf course in Maine but no one was hurt, police said.

The strut with tire and wheel crashed onto the seventh hole fairway Tuesday evening at the Gorham Country Club, said Sgt. Ted Hatch of the Gorham Police Department.

The assembly left an indentation on the fairway.

The pilot was planning to land at Portland International Jetport but returned to New York upon learning part of the landing gear was missing, Hatch said.

The twin-engine Piper Navajo returned safely, conducting a belly landing at Long Island MacArthur Airport in Ronkonkoma, New York, he said.

TME – We assume he took a mulligan.

Tuesday, 20 July 2021 11:18

Celebrity Slam - Pam & Joey a no-go … ey?

Written by Allen Adams

While we will always appreciate the opportunities that this space affords us to make light of the misdeeds and misadventures of the many famous folks out there, we also appreciate the occasional chance to address something a little bit different. It’s not that we get tired of scorning and mocking them – that will NEVER happen – but every once in a while, it’s nice to stretch those muscles in an unusual way.

To that end, this week’s feature is going to involve us taking a look at a different kind of dumbassery – the kind committed by the largely faceless entities who ultimately decide just which of our favorite celebrities we get to see, as well as how we get to see them.

For nearly two years, Jenna Fischer and Angela Kinsey have been co-hosting the “Office Ladies Podcast,” wherein the two former co-stars (on “The Office,” natch) and current best friends take to the podwaves once a week and break down an episode of their past fictional workplace adventures. It’s a generally delightful listen for anyone who is a fan of the show (which, judging by the streaming numbers that thing is still doing, some of you reading this almost certainly are).

However, it was a comment about an altogether different sitcom that we’re going to discuss here.

See, in the course of the conversation, Fischer, who played Pam Beesley on “The Office,” told a story about how she lost a job opposite Matt LeBlanc – best known as Joey Tribbiani on the classic “Friends” – on the CBS show “Man With a Plan,” which aired for four seasons before its recent cancellation.

Apparently, it boiled down to this: Pam would NEVER marry Joey.

Tuesday, 20 July 2021 11:16

Weird National Briefs (07/21/2021)

Written by Allen Adams

Rooftop reptile

DAYTONA BEACH SHORES, Fla. (AP) — A Florida man told police officers he was “teaching it a lesson” when he tried to throw a live alligator he had stolen from a miniature golf course onto the roof of a beachside cocktail lounge, authorities said.

The 32-year-old man was arrested early Thursday when Daytona Beach Shores police officers spotted him attempting to throw the gator onto the roof of a cocktail lounge located just off Highway A1A, according to a police report.

The officers then saw the man take the alligator by its tail, hit it against the awning of the building, throw it to the ground and stomp on it twice, the report said.

The man from Homestead, Florida was taken into custody and charged with possession and injury of an alligator, unarmed burglary of an occupied dwelling, theft and criminal mischief.

The man told officers that he had stolen the gator from an enclosure at a nearby miniature golf course.

An online court docket showed no attorney for the man, who remained in jail Friday morning.

TME – He better have said “See you later!” on the release, or else what’s even the point?

Wednesday, 14 July 2021 11:38

Celebrity Slam - One toad over the line

Written by Allen Adams

Anyone who has read this space with regularity is aware of the basic equation for determining which items get included. Now, these rules are tweaked for assorted subgenres – your Twitter beefs, your celebrity romances – but what we’re talking about today is your basic scorn and mockery.

Essentially, it boils down to this: the outlandishness of the action is inversely proportional to the fame of the one who performs said action. So if we’re talking about someone very famous – an A-list actor, chart-topping musician, All-Star athlete – then the action needn’t be all that outlandish for it to make this space. On the flip side, if someone is niche famous – a reality star or a third-tier country singer – then the action better be good and bizarre for it to make that week’s Slam.

“So how outlandish is this week’s action?” Glad you asked, and I’ll answer it thusly – the person we’re talking about stars in one of those home renovation shows on HGTV.

Yeah – we’re gonna get WEIRD.

Wednesday, 14 July 2021 11:36

Weird National Briefs (07/14/2021)

Written by Allen Adams

$uper Mario 64

DALLAS (AP) — An unopened copy of Nintendo’s Super Mario 64 has sold at auction for $1.56 million.

Heritage Auctions in Dallas said that the 1996 game sold Sunday, breaking its previous record price for the sale of a single video game.

A spokesman did not immediately respond to an inquiry about who purchased the game.

Super Mario 64 was the best-selling game on the Nintendo 64 and the first to feature the Mario character in 3D, the auction house said in a statement.

The sale follows an unopened copy of Nintendo’s The Legend of Zelda selling at auction Friday for $870,000. Valarie McLeckie, Heritage’s video game specialist, said the auction house was shocked to see a game sell for more than a $1 million two days after the Zelda game broke its past record.

In April, the auction house sold an unopened copy of Nintendo’s Super Mario Bros. that was bought in 1986 and forgotten about in a desk drawer for $660,000.

TME – Let’s just hope their wallet isn’t in another castle.

Tuesday, 06 July 2021 21:54

Celebrity Slam - An MCU match made in heaven

Written by Allen Adams

We’re on record here at Celebrity Slam with our love of love. We’re huge fans of famous folks getting together, both for the fun we can have in constructing their couple names – we do so love a good portmanteau – and for the joy we can take when, like 90% of these pairings, they inevitably crumble in a manner that indicates that maybe the relationship was more about good press than good feelings.

That being said, occasionally there’s a hookup that manages to break through our cynical façade to the gooey romantic center. These are the matches that we desperately hope are not only real in the moment, but real for the long haul. These are the pairings that we hope wind up lasting years. Decades, even. We don’t see them often, but man, when they come along, all we want is for them to last forever. Which brings us to this:


Tuesday, 06 July 2021 21:53

Weird National Briefs (07/07/2021)

Written by Allen Adams

Smuggled speedy snacks

COLUMBIA, S.C. (AP) — A guard was fired and arrested after trying to smuggle prescription stimulant pills into a South Carolina women’s prison by hiding them in Rice Krispies treats, authorities said.

Marcy Shaffer, 43, took the treats out of their original packages, pushed the pills inside and put them in a plastic bag, according to arrest warrants.

Shaffer was caught as she tried to take the treats into the Camille Graham Correctional Institution on Thursday, the Department of Corrections said in a statement.

Shaffer hid four amphetamine and dextroamphetamine pills in the treats and had two more in a prescription bottle which was not labeled for the drugs, according to arrest warrants.

picture released by prison officials showed the orange pills peeking out from the inside of the snacks.

The pills are a simulant that are supposed to be used to treat attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.

Shaffer is charged with possession of narcotics with intent to distribute, furnishing prisoners with contraband and misconduct in office. Court records did not indicate if she had a lawyer.

Shaffer faces one to 10 years in prison if convicted of the contraband charge.

TME – Snap, Crackle, Pop … and Amphetamine, apparently.

Tuesday, 29 June 2021 12:13

Celebrity Slam - No Love lost

Written by Allen Adams

It’s no secret that celebrity beef is one of the primary sources of joy for us here at Celebrity Slam. Sure, we love our famous romances and don’t you know who I ams, but there’s something special about beef.

Happily, we’ve been seeing some wonderfully weird beefs popping up in recent weeks, which has allowed us to really dig into the strange thought processes of celebrities – specifically, the ridiculous things that they choose to be mad about, as well as the random and misguided ways in which they choose to get mad.

Wouldn’t you know it, we’ve got another live one this week!

Now, if you’d asked us about which two famous female musicians would get into an odd and pointless conflict over some nonsense, odds are that we would have made A LOT of guesses before we arrived at the subject of this week’s Slam.

That’s right, folks – Courtney Love is mad at Olivia Rodrigo!

Tuesday, 29 June 2021 12:11

Weird National Briefs (06/30/2021)

Written by Allen Adams

Yabba dabba sue

HILLSBOROUGH, Calif. (AP) — Fred Flintstone fought the law — and he won.

Technically, the owner of the fanciful Flintstones house in a posh San Francisco suburb settled a lawsuit with the town of Hillsborough. But the agreement will allow Fred and his friends to remain.

In a yabba dabba dispute that pitted property rights against government rules that played out in international media, retired publishing mogul Florence Fang defended her colorful, bulbous-shaped house and its elaborate homage to “The Flintstones” family, featuring Stone Age sculptures inspired by the 1960s cartoon, along with aliens and other oddities.

The town, however, called the towering dinosaurs and life-size sculptures “a highly visible eyesore” and sued Fang, alleging she violated local codes when she put dinosaur sculptures in the backyard and made other landscaping changes that caused local officials to declare it a public nuisance.

An attorney for the town previously said residents are required to get a permit before installing such sculptures, regardless of the theme.

Hillsborough went to court in 2019 after Fang failed to comply with multiple stop-work orders, as well as an order to remove the features around the multimillion-dollar property with its 2,730-square-foot (254-square-meter) home. Fang countersued. The Daily Post in Palo Alto first reported news of the settlement on Thursday.

Mark Hudak, an attorney for Hillsborough, previously said the town prides itself on its rural, woodsy feel, and rules are in place “so neighbors don’t have to look at your version of what you would like to have, and you don’t have to look at theirs.”

According to records, the settlement stipulates that the town will review and approve a survey of the landscaping improvements. In turn, Fang will apply for building permits. The town will also pay Fang $125,000, and she will drop the lawsuit — which was dismissed in state court on April 27.

No news on Barney Rubble’s role in the matter.

TME – That’s a modern Stone Age family – nothing more modern than litigation.

Wednesday, 23 June 2021 09:39

Celebrity Slam - NFT Beef

Written by Allen Adams

Celebrity feuds are a major component of our work here at Celebrity Slam. When famous folks start taking shots at one another, you never really know where it’s going to go – and sometimes, that unpredictability can result in items that are just perfect for this space.

Where’s the beef? Here at Celebrity Slam, if we’re lucky.

But here’s the thing about beef – it comes in many forms. You can get everything from ground beef to Wagyu steak and everything in-between. Even when you get past the quality of the beef, you still have to take into account the preparation of it all. Sizzle and steak come together an give us the precise flavor of beef we’re talking about.

We’re on record as noting that hip-hop beef is our favorite kind – when rappers start sniping away, whether it’s in person or over social media, it almost always turns up something tasty. And yet, even after years of celebrating these beefs, we can still be confronted with something that’s brand new.

Specifically, we’re going to talk about the current conflict between Jay-Z and Damon Dash.

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