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Celebrity Slam (408)

Tuesday, 20 March 2018 16:11

Celebrity Slam - The Game hates the player

Written by Allen Adams

One might imagine that working on this feature every week allows us to tap into the pop culture zeitgeist pretty thoroughly. And one would be right – to an extent.

Here’s the thing: we find ourselves learning A LOT about the various goings-on in the celebrity sphere. We find out about budding romances and righteous beefs and a wide array of ego-driven idiocy. But the truth is that while we spend a lot of time on this stuff, we’re also, you know, old. And try as we might, us old folks tend to have trouble keeping current from time to time.

This brings us to Tekashi69.

Tuesday, 13 March 2018 13:34

Celebrity Slam - (Not) Above the Law

Written by Allen Adams

Making fun of famous people is what we do best here at Celebrity Slam. That delightful combination of constant scrutiny and rampant egoism that is inherent to pretty much all celebrities? Well, it’s essentially a perfect storm that lends itself to the saying and doing of hilariously stupid things.

But there are some famous folks who really go the extra mile, who become so consumed by their own delusions of grandeur that they transcend mere stupidity and achieve a higher plane. It’s a higher plane of idiocy, but still.

Steven Seagal is one such transcendent idiot.

Tuesday, 06 March 2018 16:05

Celebrity Slam - Conor vs. Fitty: Beef Edition

Written by Allen Adams

Ah, beef. Sweet succulent celebrity beef. We love it ever so much here at Celebrity Slam. It’s one of our absolute favorite meals. Doesn’t matter what kind of cut – sirloin or strip or T-bone or ribeye, we don’t care. It’s all delicious.

Tuesday, 27 February 2018 16:30

Celebrity Slam - Streisand's duplicate doggies

Written by Allen Adams

For the most part, when we’re not talking about famous folks beefing on social media or trying to create portmanteaus for new celebrity couples, we’re usually taking shots at the bizarre and/or idiotic behaviors of those in the spotlight. Goodness knows that there’s almost always opportunity to scorn, mock and generally make fun of these people as they say and do stupid things whose stupidity is delightful for us to unpack.

But every once in a while, we find a story that’s … different. It’s not the sort of story that we’re necessarily moved to mock – at least, not with the cheerful vitriol that we normally throw out there. But it’s so different, so unusual, so downright freaking WEIRD that we can’t help but devote some time to it in this space.

All of this serves to bring us to one remarkable fact: Barbara Streisand’s dogs are clones.

Yes, really.

Wednesday, 21 February 2018 10:55

Celebrity Slam - Not-so-sly Foxx

Written by Allen Adams

While we’re not afraid to venture off into the weird here at Celebrity Slam, there’s no denying that there are certain aspects of the fame landscape that we enjoy more than others.

Obviously, we love the beef. The more ridiculous and petty and ultimately inconsequential, the better. We love it when celebrities get in stupid fights about stupid things for no reason.

But we also REALLY love celebrity romance. We love it when prominent pop culture figures come together. We love it when they break up, as well, but it’s the getting together that we really dig.

(Do we really have to go through our love of all things celebrity portmanteau again? If you’ve read this space with any kind of consistency, you know darned well that we adore finding ways to blend the names of celebrity couples. It’s the best and we don’t care what you think.)

So we’re going to talk about Jamie Foxx and Katie Holmes, whose coupling is perhaps the worst-kept secret in Hollywood these days.

Tuesday, 13 February 2018 17:00

Celebrity Slam - Shade and the City

Written by Allen Adams

So we’re going to need to talk about Kim Cattrall and Sarah Jessica Parker.

Wednesday, 07 February 2018 13:39

Celebrity Slam - We see rude people

Written by Allen Adams

We’ve noted our preferences here at Celebrity Slam a number of times. If you’ve ever visited this space with any kind of regularity, you know that there are two things we absolutely LOVE when it comes to famous folks:

1) Celebrity beef

2) Creating portmanteaus for famous couples

However, while those are our favorite things, they aren’t the only things we enjoy. Obviously, when celebrities say and do idiotic things, they garner our attention. But what you might not know is that there are definitely certain places where famous people are more likely to stick their feet in their mouths.

One particularly popular place for celebrity meltdowns? The airport. It’s understandable, really – the airport is a popular place for non-celebrity meltdowns as well. It’s a stressful place rendered exponentially more stressful with every deviation – no matter how slight – from the plan at hand.

This brings us to Haley Joel Osment.

Wednesday, 31 January 2018 13:22

Celebrity Slam - Quincy’s quarrels

Written by Allen Adams

Anyone who spends time with us knows that we’re constantly on the lookout for celebrity beef. There are few things that we love more than watching two famous people talk trash about one another’s various shortcomings. And while it’s fun when the reasons for the fight make sense, it’s even more fun when they don’t.

What we’re saying is that while there’s enjoyment to be mined from a pair of peers going at it over Twitter, there’s even more joy inherent to unexpected beef. When shots are fired for seemingly no reason, out of the blue, well – we love it.

This brings us to the recent interview that music legend Quincy Jones gave to GQ.

Tuesday, 23 January 2018 17:10

Celebrity Slam - Finely aged beef

Written by Allen Adams

It’s no secret that we love beef here at Celebrity Slam. The pettier and more childish, the better. We love it when famous people go after each other with thoughtless insults and disrespect, when they suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous ego hurled willy-nilly.

As you’re no doubt well aware, the best beef is hip-hop beef. These guys have always been able to stick the needle in, finding the softest, most vulnerable spots in which to jab their barbs. They’re good with words and unafraid to be mean – an ideal combo when it comes to generating beef.

But when you get the opportunity to experience some well-aged beef, beef that has been gently seasoned by years of simmering antipathy, well – that’s the good stuff.

Which brings us to 50 Cent and Ja Rule. That’s right – the greatest hip-hop beef of 2003 has returned after 15 years in all its idiotic mean-spirited glory.

Wednesday, 17 January 2018 13:12

Celebrity Slam - Marky Mark's money matters

Written by Allen Adams

One of the things we love doing in this space is to take famous people to task for their misdeeds. We enjoy scorning and deriding those in the celebrity sphere who say or do things that are terrible and/or stupid.

We REALLY enjoy it.

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