Celebrity Slam (415)

Wednesday, 20 February 2013 11:01

Celebrity Slam - Feb. 20, 2013

Written by Allen Adams

Baldwin blows his top - again

We all knew that it was just a matter of time before noted paparazzi hater Alec Baldwin made another appearance in this space. While a majority of celebrities have issues with the bottom-feeding flash-poppers, Baldwin manages to hate on them more than most.

But now, there's a rumor that he might have gone too far.

Wednesday, 13 February 2013 13:25

Celebrity Slam - Feb. 13, 2013

Written by Allen Adams

Everybody hates Chris

It's no secret that we enjoy taking celebrities to task for their foibles. The world of the rich and famous is populated with people who say and do silly and stupid things. Then we lightly mock them for their silliness and stupidity. For the most part, it's all in good fun.

However, there are a few folks out there who inspire real vitriol. Those celebrities are the ones who have managed to make themselves into utterly unsympathetic nozzles who warrant actual scorn. They are the 'all in good fun' exceptions terrible, terrible human beings who deserve far worse than a mere dressing-down in print.

Wednesday, 06 February 2013 11:46

Celebrity Slam - Feb. 6, 2013

Written by Allen Adams

Monkey business

While many of the famous folks we visit here at Celebrity Slam are known for their naked thirst for the spotlight, there are always those who take their need to be looked at to a new level. These are people who find new ways to ensure that all eyes are upon them - new and very stupid ways.

The latest installment in idiocy comes from mogul/reality TV star Donald Trump, who has chosen to pick a ridiculous fight with late night talker Bill Maher.

The beef springs from an alleged comment Maher made on 'The Tonight Show' in the immediate aftermath of Trump's $5 million challenge to President Obama regarding the president's birth certificate. When talking to Jay Leno, Maher stated that he himself would donate $5 million to charity if Trump could prove that he isn't the offspring of Trump's mother and an orangutan.

Wednesday, 30 January 2013 11:38

Celebrity Slam - Jan. 30, 2013

Written by Allen Adams

Parking wars

A story comes along every once in a while that perfectly illustrates the attitude of selfish entitlement permeating the world of entertainment. Not everyone working in the industry is an arrogant egomaniac, but a lot of them are and you can always count on them to give you a wonderful example of their idiocy.

Wednesday, 23 January 2013 14:22

Celebrity Slam - Jan. 23, 2013

Written by Tim Bissell

Lance's lies

The American people are a fairly forgiving bunch. While individual scandals are often marked with a whirlwind of initial outrage, the furor usually dies down eventually. The person or persons involved in said scandals will often curry a return to favor at some point it might take a while, but chances are decent that if we loved you once, we can love you again; call it 99 times out of 100.

Welcome to the 1%, Lance Armstrong.

The controversial cyclist finally broke down and admitted to using blood doping, performance-enhancing drugs and just about any other weird thing that he could put in his body to gain an unfair advantage over his competitors. The seven-time Tour de France champion made his confession in an interview with Oprah Winfrey, aired over two nights on Winfrey's OWN cable network.

Wednesday, 16 January 2013 12:29

Celebrity Slam - Jan. 16, 2013

Written by Allen Adams

LiLo's big week

It has been a big week for Celebrity Slam favorite Lindsay Lohan.

We'll start with the recent New York Times story by Stephen Rodrick. Rodrick was given access to LiLo's latest film project 'The Canyons' and chronicled the movie's progress and process in an article straightforwardly titled 'Here Is What Happens When You Cast Lindsay Lohan In Your Movie.'

Wednesday, 09 January 2013 11:59

Celebrity Slam - Jan. 9, 2013

Written by Allen Adams

Public relief

In this segment, we're going to discuss two different celebrities. These two men found themselves faced with one of nature's calls in very public places; one was called while at the airport, the other while at the White House. However, each of these men dealt with the situation very differently.

We'll start with Bronson Pelletier, a young actor who stars as one of the werewolves in the thankfully-concluded 'Twilight' series of films. Late last month, Pelletier was taken into custody by security at LAX after urinating in the middle of a terminal while waiting for a flight. Ordinarily, we would qualify that charge with an 'allegedly' especially since the guy claimed he didn't do it.

However, incontrovertible video evidence has surfaced. Seriously there's actually video of the guy straight-up peeing on the floor in an airport. The dude did it.

On the flip side of the coin, you've got 'Today' weatherman Al Roker, who recently revealed an embarrassing event of his own. In a 'Dateline' interview, Roker confessed that during a White House visit a month after his 2002 gastric bypass, he felt the need to fart. He was alone, so he figured he'd let it rip alas, more than mere gas would pass. In his words: 'I pooped my pants.'

Roker bee-lined to the bathroom, ditched the dirty drawers and covered the rest of the event while going commando. That, my friends, is a pro's pro.

The idea of famous people peeing and pooping in public is undeniably hilarious. It's just remarkable to be able to see the spectrum of how such things come to pass. You've got the drunken entitled asshat who thinks that just because he's in some terrible movies, he can do whatever he wants. If there's a bigger douchebag maneuver than taking a leak on an airport carpet, I'd like to hear it. Then you've got the guy who, despite dropping a deuce in his pants (an occurrence which would assuredly bring our respective workdays to a close), went ahead and did his job while at the freaking White House.

It's almost a metaphor for celebrity attitudes: punks do their business wherever they like and damned be the consequences; professionals push through the problems and get st done.

For love of the game

There were a lot of contenders for the second spot in this week's Celebrity Slam. Jimmy Kimmel is starting a talk-how-host beef (one of the finest kinds of beef) with Jay Leno. Charlie Sheen is in the midst of a party-hearty he-said he-said with the mayor of Los Angeles. And of course, there are the free-flowing Justin Bieber weed-smoking allegations.

All of those would be fun stories to address. However, none of them would be quite as much fun as the one we finally settled on.

New York Jets head coach Rex Ryan was on vacation in the Bahamas when a photographer captured a picture of him sporting a tattoo that islet's call it 'interesting.'

The image is a woman bearing a striking resemblance to Ryan's wife Michelle. She is wearing a Jets jersey with the number six the same number as that worn by increasingly-embattled Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez and nothing else. She also appears to be striking the pose popularly known as 'Tebowing' a possible reference to Jets backup QB and ESPN darling Tim Tebow.

When questioned at a press conference, Ryan claimed that if Sanchez didn't shape up, he'd get the tattoo changed. He also said that he's had the ink for three years now, and that the numeric correlation is just a coincidence.

Suffice to say, we call shenanigans on Coach Ryan.

Leaving aside the fact that there's already some established weirdness in the relationship between the Ryans remember the weird foot fetish video stuff from a while back? this is all just a little too convenient. She's wearing your starter's number and posing like your backup; are we really supposed to believe that you didn't do that on purpose? No one cares what unconventional crap you and yours get up to in the bedroom, but you should probably try to keep it to yourself. Permanently inking some weird football/sex amalgam on your arm even if it's something that would be hidden ordinarily just comes off as a creepy announcement of how into quarterbacks your wife is.

Or maybe this is all part of your attempt to motivate your terrible team and even worse quarterback into having something resembling a decent season in 2013. You're a lunatic, after all who knows what you'll get up to?

Wednesday, 02 January 2013 15:03

Celebrity Slam - Jan. 2, 2013

Written by Allen Adams

Baby on board

One of entertainment's biggest power couples has announced an impending addition to their superfamous family.

That's right: Kim Kardashian is going to have Kanye West's baby. He made the announcement from the stage at a concert in Atlantic City, telling the world that Kim was pregnant. She is reportedly about 12 weeks along.

Thursday, 20 December 2012 09:50

Celebrity Slam - Dec. 19, 2012

Written by Allen Adams

Rainmaking regrets

The idea of 'making it rain' in a strip club has almost become cultural shorthand. It precisely captures a certain attitude with regards to wealth and self-importance. Usually, it's the sort of situation where everybody wins.

But sometimes, making it rain goes awry.

Thursday, 13 December 2012 11:13

Celebrity Slam - Dec. 12, 2012

Written by Allen Adams

Much ado about nothing

Celebrity couples can sometimes have it rough. Their relationships play out in the harsh glare of the spotlight. And when things get rocky, said rockiness is laid out for the entire world to see.

Ice-T and his wife Coco are currently walking down that rocky road.

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