Celebrity Slam (408)

Thursday, 01 August 2013 09:05

Celebrity Slam - July 31, 2013

Written by Allen Adams

Don't spit into the wind

Our disdain for Justin Bieber is no secret. We've spent a lot of time taking shots at the pop idol, and while it might seem like we pile on the kid, the truth is that he simply makes it so easy. We're huge proponents of low-hanging fruit here at Celebrity Slam, after all; if a celebrity especially one as uberfamous as Bieber continuously pulls stupid crap that makes him or her look like a moron and/or d-bag, it's our sworn duty to run with it.

And so we're back to the Biebs once again this week.

Wednesday, 24 July 2013 15:43

Celebrity Slam - July 24, 2013

Written by Allen Adams

Meanwhile, in the West

In case you haven't heard, Kanye West doesn't like the paparazzi. Like, really doesn't like them. He has made his displeasure known very vocally on a number of occasions recently. Long story short, he's not a fan.

Unfortunately, Mr. West took things a little too far and went to the realm of the physical.

It all went down at LAX on Friday. According to reports, Kanye was passing through a group of photographers and turned to address one of them, saying 'What you're trying to do is get me in trouble, so I step out and have to pay you like $250,000.' Apparently, he convinced himself that it was worth it, because he then ran toward the photographer and attempted to grab the camera, both men sinking to the ground.

The photographer reported the incident to police before being transported to a hospital for medical attention. The photographer also reportedly wants to press charges; the police are referring the case to the district attorney's office as a felony attempted robbery.

Oh Kanye. You stupid, stupid man.

You have to know that you can't, absolutely cannot put your hands on any of these guys. You've made your feelings about them clear, and they're understandable. You want a moment's peace from the flashbulbs it makes sense. Unfortunately, you live in a world where if they want to take your picture in the airport, they can do that. It's probably infuriating, but that's the way it is.

And for you to actually acknowledge that you felt baited into a confrontation immediately before engaging in said confrontation? That just shows you to be either incredibly impulsive or flat-out dumb. You had to know that no matter what happened, that guy was going to do his best to punish you for it. You know they're scumbags, man why would you engage on that level?

And just for future reference attacking a cameraman is rarely the right answer.

One weird week

Things just keep getting crazier when it comes to Amanda Bynes. The actress/erstwhile rapper/ongoing trainwreck has been getting up to more lunacy than ever lately. 

It started when Bynes wreaked havoc on a Ritz-Carlton in New York City last week. It started from the get-go. Bynes apparently took umbrage with the front desk clerk, telling the woman that she was 'too ugly' to check her in and offering the services of her plastic surgeon, reducing the clerk to tears. According to hotel staff, Bynes then proceeded to smoke pot in her room every day while she was there, despite repeated warnings to abstain. 

It got so bad that the hotel reportedly booted her from the premises several hours before her scheduled checkout. For her part, Bynes insists that there was no weed smoking and that she left the hotel voluntarily.

Sure she did.

But the weirdness came to a head in California. Authorities were called to a Thousand Oaks retirement community when an allegedly drunk Bynes tried to get in, but was turned away as a trespasser. They did call her a cab, but she quickly got kicked out of it when she told the driver that she didn't have any money. She then returned to the retirement community, which is when authorities were called.

The very next night, the fire department responded to a report at a different Thousand Oaks home where they found Bynes standing next to a small fire that she apparently built in the home's driveway. The sheriff's department was called and after questioning Bynes, they took her into custody.

It has been a while since we've been subjected to a full-on celebrity meltdown. Britney Spears gave us a good one a few years back and we actually had to institute a Lindsay Lohan moratorium in this space due to all the crap she got up to, but there hasn't really been anyone else up to their level. Until now.

How has no one reined this woman in yet? She's behaving like an absolute lunatic. Insulting hotel workers? Breaking into retirement communities? Setting fires in random driveways? It's like she's trying to fill out some sort of nutjob bingo card. It's the kind of quickly escalating crazy that defies analysis; this is clearly a woman who is capable of anything at any time.

It's hard to think of a recent celebrity week that was anywhere close to this one in terms of sheer weirdness. While we certainly enjoy the insanity of building a random driveway campfire, you have to hope that this is the zenith (or nadir) of the Bynes Batst Bell Curve.

Wednesday, 17 July 2013 14:14

Celebrity Slam - July 17, 2013

Written by Allen Adams

Not-quite-forbidden love

You would think that after so many years spent manning this space every week, it would be impossible for the behaviors of celebrities to really surprise us. But thanks to the late Whitney Houston's daughter Bobbi Kristina, we now know that such surprises are still very much a possibility.

Creepy, unsettling surprises.

Thursday, 11 July 2013 08:52

Celebrity Slam - July 10, 2013

Written by Allen Adams

Bigot Brother

The key to reality television success is controversy. These programs are built on a foundation of conflict; the more inflammatory you are, the more titillating you are. And titillation equals ratings. It has been that way since the beginning, and as more and more unscripted shows dot the TV landscape, the degradation of people's behavior increases exponentially.

However, we may have reached a tipping point.

Wednesday, 03 July 2013 09:44

Celebrity Slam - July 3, 2013

Written by Allen Adams

Just do it

Nostalgia runs in cycles, usually around a generation (20 years or so) behind, as people advancing into middle adulthood start in with wistful remembrances of their youth. So it should come as no surprise that 90s memories are surging toward the pop culture forefront.

Sometimes, however, those memories go next-level and offer up some absolutely whackadoo, so-bizarre-they-must-be-true-type stories.

Wednesday, 26 June 2013 12:27

Celebrity Slam - June 26, 2013

Written by Allen Adams

Jump jumped

We've long known that fans of particular musicians can take their devotion to dizzying and disturbing heights. Recent years have shown us that fandom can make people do some bizarre things. But sometimes, stuff just gets weird.

Pop 'star' Aaron Carter found out the hard way that some fans don't take kindly when you musically intrude on the turf of their idols. Carter was in Boston in advance of an upcoming show when he allegedly got jumped by four men. However, this wasn't a robbery this was a territorial dispute. According to Carter, the men approached him while one of them shouted 'I heard you're doing a show here tomorrow. This is the town of the New Kids.'

Wednesday, 19 June 2013 11:26

Celebrity Slam - June 19, 2013

Written by Allen Adams

A child is born

We wouldn't be doing our duty here at Celebrity Slam if we didn't take a moment to acknowledge the birth of a daughter to proud parents Kim Kardashian and Kanye West. Whenever a prominent celebrity power couple adds to their family, it warrants mentioning.

Also warranting mention is the cottage industry that seems to be springing up around the child. It is one thing to have an interest heaven knows we've heard enough about it over the past months but there are some people that have a need to make things 'interesting.'

Wednesday, 12 June 2013 13:34

Celebrity Slam - June 12, 2013

Written by Allen Adams

Chad Ocho Clink-o

Former NFL wide receiver Chad Johnson has made more than his share of bad decisions over the years. He's had a number of run-ins with the law. And of course, no football fan will ever forget the unfortunate name change of his last name to 'Ochocinco.' This is not a man with a strong track record for behaving like a functional human.

Johnson is heading behind bars for 30 days on a probation violation, but really, it's his own fault. Not just because of what he did to get pulled into court; in fact, the blame for most - if not all - of those 30 days can be placed on what he did while he was in court.

Wednesday, 05 June 2013 11:07

Celebrity Slam - June 5, 2013

Written by Allen Adams

Boy band brawl?

There's no doubt that there are a lot of people out there who would love to see a boy band brawl. As it turns out, you can count Max George, frontman of The Wanted, among them.

George and bandmate Jay McGuiness made some interesting comments to the NY Daily News recently. According to the duo, the band is totally on board with the idea of setting up some sort of 5-on-5 battle royale between themselves and fellow Brit-pop boybanders One Direction.

Wednesday, 29 May 2013 13:02

Celebrity Slam - May 29, 2013

Written by Allen Adams

Bynes in a bind

We have seen our share of spectacular celebrity meltdowns in this space over the years. While many of the missteps of the rich and famous are relatively isolated incidents, there are a few names that appear in this space over and over again the Sheens and Lohans and Kardashians of the world.

One celebrity who has been making a real push recently to ascend that particular Mount Olympus and join the Pantheon is Amanda Bynes. She's flashed a fair amount of erratic behavior over the past few months, but this last week might just have been enough to get her to the top of the mountain.

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