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Celebrity Slam (328)

Tuesday, 01 May 2018 15:51

Celebrity Slam - Balls dropped

Written by Allen Adams

As regular readers of this space know, our primary focus in the celebrity realm tends to be the entertainment world – actors and musicians and whatnot. But never forget that athletes are entertainers too. And they have just as much money and unbridled ego as any movie and/or rock star. They’re just as capable of saying and doing the kinds of idiotic things that land them in the Slam.

On a related note, we haven’t talked about the Ball family for a little while.

Tuesday, 24 April 2018 15:45

Celebrity Slam - Red carpet official

Written by Allen Adams

It’s a great day here at Celebrity Slam. Why is that, you ask? Is there a new hip-hop beef? Was some social media moron particularly idiotic? Or is there a new celebrity relationship for us to embrace?

Yeah – it’s the latter.

Actress Scarlett Johansson and “SNL” writer/performer Colin Jost have been low-key dating for over a year at this point, but they only recently made things official. Well, Hollywood official – they appeared on their first red carpet together.

Tuesday, 17 April 2018 14:19

Celebrity Slam - Cash me at Coachella

Written by Allen Adams

We here at Celebrity Slam freely admit that we sometimes have trouble keeping up with the exponential growth in numbers of young celebrities. We have little to no understanding of why a lot of these people are celebrities – or who they even are.

We’re old, you see.

So it stands to reason that when one of these inexplicably famous idiots shows up and even WE know who they are, well … they’re going to make an appearance in this space.

This brings us to Danielle Bregoli, who went on Dr. Phil’s TV show and went viral due to her reprehensible attitude and a few slurred catchphrases – she’s the “Cash Me Ousside” girl. She went to Dr. Phil and came back a star, we guess. Whatever. We still don’t get it, but that lawn lecture has already been delivered.

Man, this beef between Dwayne Johnson and Vin Diesel is the gift that keeps on giving.

Tuesday, 20 March 2018 16:11

Celebrity Slam - The Game hates the player

Written by Allen Adams

One might imagine that working on this feature every week allows us to tap into the pop culture zeitgeist pretty thoroughly. And one would be right – to an extent.

Here’s the thing: we find ourselves learning A LOT about the various goings-on in the celebrity sphere. We find out about budding romances and righteous beefs and a wide array of ego-driven idiocy. But the truth is that while we spend a lot of time on this stuff, we’re also, you know, old. And try as we might, us old folks tend to have trouble keeping current from time to time.

This brings us to Tekashi69.

Tuesday, 13 March 2018 13:34

Celebrity Slam - (Not) Above the Law

Written by Allen Adams

Making fun of famous people is what we do best here at Celebrity Slam. That delightful combination of constant scrutiny and rampant egoism that is inherent to pretty much all celebrities? Well, it’s essentially a perfect storm that lends itself to the saying and doing of hilariously stupid things.

But there are some famous folks who really go the extra mile, who become so consumed by their own delusions of grandeur that they transcend mere stupidity and achieve a higher plane. It’s a higher plane of idiocy, but still.

Steven Seagal is one such transcendent idiot.

Tuesday, 06 March 2018 16:05

Celebrity Slam - Conor vs. Fitty: Beef Edition

Written by Allen Adams

Ah, beef. Sweet succulent celebrity beef. We love it ever so much here at Celebrity Slam. It’s one of our absolute favorite meals. Doesn’t matter what kind of cut – sirloin or strip or T-bone or ribeye, we don’t care. It’s all delicious.

Tuesday, 27 February 2018 16:30

Celebrity Slam - Streisand's duplicate doggies

Written by Allen Adams

For the most part, when we’re not talking about famous folks beefing on social media or trying to create portmanteaus for new celebrity couples, we’re usually taking shots at the bizarre and/or idiotic behaviors of those in the spotlight. Goodness knows that there’s almost always opportunity to scorn, mock and generally make fun of these people as they say and do stupid things whose stupidity is delightful for us to unpack.

But every once in a while, we find a story that’s … different. It’s not the sort of story that we’re necessarily moved to mock – at least, not with the cheerful vitriol that we normally throw out there. But it’s so different, so unusual, so downright freaking WEIRD that we can’t help but devote some time to it in this space.

All of this serves to bring us to one remarkable fact: Barbara Streisand’s dogs are clones.

Yes, really.

Wednesday, 21 February 2018 10:55

Celebrity Slam - Not-so-sly Foxx

Written by Allen Adams

While we’re not afraid to venture off into the weird here at Celebrity Slam, there’s no denying that there are certain aspects of the fame landscape that we enjoy more than others.

Obviously, we love the beef. The more ridiculous and petty and ultimately inconsequential, the better. We love it when celebrities get in stupid fights about stupid things for no reason.

But we also REALLY love celebrity romance. We love it when prominent pop culture figures come together. We love it when they break up, as well, but it’s the getting together that we really dig.

(Do we really have to go through our love of all things celebrity portmanteau again? If you’ve read this space with any kind of consistency, you know darned well that we adore finding ways to blend the names of celebrity couples. It’s the best and we don’t care what you think.)

So we’re going to talk about Jamie Foxx and Katie Holmes, whose coupling is perhaps the worst-kept secret in Hollywood these days.

Tuesday, 13 February 2018 17:00

Celebrity Slam - Shade and the City

Written by Allen Adams

So we’re going to need to talk about Kim Cattrall and Sarah Jessica Parker.

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