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Celebrity Slam - Red carpet official

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It’s a great day here at Celebrity Slam. Why is that, you ask? Is there a new hip-hop beef? Was some social media moron particularly idiotic? Or is there a new celebrity relationship for us to embrace?

Yeah – it’s the latter.

Actress Scarlett Johansson and “SNL” writer/performer Colin Jost have been low-key dating for over a year at this point, but they only recently made things official. Well, Hollywood official – they appeared on their first red carpet together.

The two made the scene at the premiere of “Avengers: Infinity War,” debuting as a for-real couple even though they’ve been together for quite some time. Granted, it was slow going – the two weren’t exclusive initially and rumor has it that Scarlett was casually dating some other fellows while “Infinity War” was filming. Still, Jost’s charm eventually won out – even back in September, he made it clear that things with his new lady friend were awesome. Turns out, he was telling the truth, because here we are.

So we have a new celebrity couple to celebrate. And we all know what that means.

It’s portmanteau time!

Anyone who reads this space with any kind of regularity knows that we absolutely love it when a new celebrity relationship springs up. We wholeheartedly latch onto any opportunity to come up with a new portmanteau, a blending of names that turns these two individual famous folks into a single unit of famous fun.

And there’s a lot of fun to be had here.

Sometimes, names don’t quite click. Those are the portmanteaus that are difficult to come up with, the ones that ultimately maybe feel like a bit of a reach. For whatever reason, there’s a lack of flow that makes creating a single name a tricky maneuver. That’s not the case here – we have a TON of options.

We’ll start with the first-name/last-name blends, none of which quite make the cut, but are still pretty awesome. Probably the least solid of the bunch is the her/him first/last combo – “Scost” doesn’t really work all that well. The other combo is far superior – for most other celebrity couples, you’d be hard pressed to come up with a better name than “Cohannson.” That’s pretty good, but it still doesn’t reach the level of our other two contenders.

(Quick aside – the reality is that nothing makes for a better celebrity portmanteau than shared letters and/or sounds with the names. When you have those pieces to build on, you’ve got a chance to create something really special. You’re about to see just HOW special.)

The runner-up for us is “Scolin,” which just barely beats out “Cohansson” for second place. First name combos are traditionally solid contenders and there’s an appealing brevity to this one.

But let’s be real here – this was never going to be anything other than “Josthansson.” The fact that Jost’s name is both fairly unusual and easily substituted for the first syllable of Johansson’s. The end result is a portmanteau that is fluid and evocative while also being instantly recognizable as a blend of these specific two individuals. Seriously – we’ve been doing this a long time and this is easily one of our favorites of the past five years or more (though the all-too-brief shooting star that was “Hiddleswift” will be forever missed).

We’ll leave aside whether this relationship is going to have any actual staying power – that’s not for us to judge. The fact that they’ve seemingly been dating for a while and have taken their time in going fully public would seem to indicate that they’ve chosen their path carefully. They had every opportunity to keep things on the downlow and decided to step out instead. Will they make it? Who the hell knows – probably not. These things rarely last.

But until then – viva Josthansson!

(Note: We here at Celebrity Slam are well aware of the Allison Mack situation. For those who are unaware, one of the strangest celebrity stories in years is currently playing out. Mack – former star of the TV show “Smallville” – has been arrested on charges related to her involvement with what appears to be a sex cult. It’s some deep, deep weirdness, but not the sort of thing that we’re super comfortable mocking in this space. That said, it’s a fascinating and sordid saga that you might find worthy of further investigation. That is all.)


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