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Celebrity Slam - On da patio

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As we continue to deal with the ramifications of the pandemic, it’s important for us to do what we can to maintain some degree of normalcy. Yes, circumstances prevent us from living our lives exactly as we did before, but when the opportunity arises for us to safely do something that reminds us of our old lives, we should embrace it.

This is as true for the rich and famous as it is for us regular folks. Celebrities are left to deal with the new reality just as we are. One imagines that many of them are also looking for things – large and small – that remind them of the way things used to be. For some, that is going for a walk at a beloved spot or grabbing takeout from a favorite restaurant.

For 50 Cent, it’s flipping tables and getting into fights.

It all went down last week in New Jersey. Apparently, 50 was at the Edgewater Commons Mall in Edgewater, NJ. He was in the outdoor patio area, enjoying drinks with an unidentified woman seated at the other end of the table. At some point, a man approached the area and had some words with 50. Said words evolved into actions – angry actions.

As seen on video of the incident, 50 first picked up a table and launched it in the man’s direction; it wound up hitting a Lexus. He followed up by hurling a chair at the guy – a guy who, in classic aggro fashion, had already ripped off his shirt to get into fight mode. After some more exchanged pleasantries, the man fled the scene. Not long after, 50 and his companion got into 50’s Rolls and left as well.

Adding to the intrigue, this isn’t the first time 50 has had to deal with this dude. According to sources from the rapper’s camp, this guy allegedly got aggressive with 50 outside a movie theater last year. Those sources indicate that the man’s initial anger springs from his failed efforts to get 50 to check out his Instagram.

Those Instagram grudges are the real deal, apparently.

Again – we’re all looking for moments of normalcy in our lives. However, when your life involves occasionally having to deal with weirdo lunatics who resent your unwillingness to check out their social media, “normal” takes on a different meaning. Drinks outside with a friend – good normal. Angry stranger screaming at you – bad normal.

It should be noted that we by no means condone violence as a solution. To be clear, 50 Cent absolutely should not handle his business this way. Problems are rarely solved by throwing patio furniture at them. Grown-ups should make every effort to address their conflicts with words, regardless of the stressors – both internal and external – that they face.

That being said, there’s something comforting about knowing that 50 Cent is out there, hurling restaurant tables at those who he believes to have wronged him. It’s a throwback to the way things used to be, when celebrities did stupid s—t all the time and we made fun of them and that was that. Seeing Fiddy keeping it real like this, well – it’s a breath of fresh air (though again, we do not condone this behavior).

The thing is, maybe a millionaire rapper shouldn’t be punching down like this. Yes, it’s clear that this rando is crossing the line and trying desperately to pick a fight (the ripping of the shirt is a nice touch – classic meathead move), but c’mon – you’re the one with everything to lose. You can’t be risking your livelihood just because some pushy wannabe influencer calls you some names. He’s obviously doing it for the ‘Gram, but why are YOU doing it, Fiddy?

(Side note: Maybe in the future, do your drinking somewhere other than a mall? We’re not here to tell you your business, but one imagines your presence at an outdoor food court might draw attention – and not all of it good. But hey, maybe the TGIFriday’s in Edgewater makes that Electric Lemonade just the way you like it.)

In a world of uncertainty, it’s nice to know that there are some things you can count on – even if one of those things is 50 Cent throwing a picnic table at some idiot’s Lexus.

Last modified on Wednesday, 15 July 2020 11:00

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