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edge staff writer


Celebrity Slam - More Cardi B-eef

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It’s no secret that we have our favorites here at Celebrity Slam. Certain famous folks have given us consistent nonsense over an extended period of time; there’s something wonderful about that sense of reliability, of knowing that you’ll always be able to back to that well. Others are like shooting stars, streaking across the sky in a spectacular display of lunatic behavior that burns out too quickly, but is an utter delight while it still shines.

This week, we’ll be discussing someone who falls into that latter category.

Cardi B was featured in this space just a couple of weeks ago thanks to a shoe-throwing altercation with Nicki Minaj during New York Fashion Week. It was the sort of story that we love here, the bubbling over of a long-simmering beef that just happened to take place in a glaringly public place. It was ridiculous and dumb and we were so very happy.

And yet … Cardi B may have outdone herself with her latest antics.

See, she turned herself in on Monday morning following an incident a few weeks ago where she allegedly ordered her entourage to attack a pair of bartenders working at the New York strip club where she was watching Migos perform.

According to reports, Cardi B was at Angels Strip Club in Queens in late August when she encountered the alleged victims. The bartenders – sister Jade and Baddie Gi – claim that Cardi B basically ordered members of her entourage to attack them. The fight included hair-pulling and the throwing of both punches and bottles.

As for why? The sisters claim that Cardi has a longstanding beef with them because she believes one of them slept with her husband, the rapper Offset.

Two misdemeanor charges were issued - assault and reckless endangerment. The rapper turned herself in and was fingerprinted and mug-shotted before being released. The arraignment is currently scheduled for October 29.

First things first – we’re sorry. We have no idea how this story could have possibly escaped our notice when it initially went down a month or so ago. The notion that we have deprived you – accidentally or otherwise – of the experience of enjoying this insanity just breaks our hearts. That’s on us, so we apologize.

Happily, the charges give us another chance, as well as the benefit of hindsight to gain a sense of the larger perspective.

We’ll start with the deed itself. There’s something really old-school about basically telling your hangers-on to fight someone on your behalf. Using your fame to bend others to your will is something that will never go out of style. Is ordering attacks on bartenders going too far? Absolutely – it’s the sort of thing an insane person would do. But it’s a logical outgrowth of the bubble of entitlement in which famous people tend to live.

As for the reason, well … it’s a bit of a cliché, isn’t it? Having someone beaten up because they (allegedly) slept with your man seems almost trite. There are loads of other ways to handle these situations – almost all of them relying on language. Don’t throw punches, Cardi B – cut your enemy with words. It’s what you do for a living.

And all this leaves aside that this happened before the showdown with Nicki Minaj. Think about what that means for a second – it means that Cardi B knew that she was probably going to be in some legal hot water thanks to demanding that attack, yet still felt OK about wading into it with Minaj. That is some stone-cold stuff right there.

Now, we’re not going to sit here and say that Cardi B has ascended to the level of our more legendary Celebrity Slam hot streaks – she’s got some climbing to do to reach Charlie Sheen or even Randy Quaid levels of inflammatory weirdness. However, she has certainly showed that she’s a force to be reckoned with as far as doing and saying stupid things. She’ll need to keep up the moronic behavior for a while yet, but honestly, she’s putting up numbers here.

Cardi B’s not quite there, but if she can instigate another brawl or two by Halloween, she’s going to at least be in the conversation as far as all-time hot streaks.


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