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Celebrity Slam - March 21, 2012

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Another fallen 'Idol'

We've long had a bit of a fast and loose attitude in this space with regards to what actually constitutes 'celebrity.' We have to, if only so we can be sure to include the seemingly never-ending waves of reality stars who appear to be anxiously awaiting their chance to be complete a-holes.

Which brings us to Jermaine Jones.

Jermaine was a contestant on 'American Idol' you know, that show that people still inexplicably watch for some reason. He had spent a significant part of his time on the show throwing out sob story after sob story, including one about his absentee dad who suddenly reappeared when his son was on the verge of fame.

Lies, all of it.

Jones's father came out and called B.S. on the story, which led to the uncovering of additional deception. Jones had sworn to the show's risk management team (yeah, they have one of those) up and down that his criminal history was clean. Not so fast the dude has been charged with numerous crimes and even has four current warrants for his arrest.

In addition, the guy spent his 'AI' time committing backstage douchebaggery on an epic scale, acting aggressively behind the scenes and even screaming at one staffer because he was dissatisfied with his wardrobe.

It's sad in a way. The guy completely destroyed the biggest opportunity he's ever had. It's the 21st century, man. You can't hide stuff like this anymore the truth will come out whether you like it or not. It's the worst kind of stupid. You need to understand that Nigel Lythgoe and that crew couldn't care less about your historyso long as you can sing. Now you won't even get that chance because you were too much of a coward to man up and own your past.

Dude, you must really be sweating, because your pants are on fire.

Just called to say I hate you

Speaking of celebrities who populate the D-List and below, a new website has launched that brings all of your favorites into one place. A place where, apparently, you can call them.

But it ain't cheap.

Dial-A-Star is the name of the site. It offers exactly the service it claims for an astronomical per-minute charge, you can be connected for a conversation with a number of different 'celebrities.' The star in question sets their own per minute price with the fee split 50/50 between the celeb and Dial-A-Star.

The roster reads like a Who's Who of Celebrity Slam Past. The most recent addition is Danielle Staub (one of the Real Housewives of Somewhere or Other), but there's plenty more awesome to go around. You can speak to either one of Lindsay Lohan's parents, although Michael's the better bargain (he only charges $10 a minute, while Dina charges $18 per). You can have a few moments with Octomom at 12 bucks a pop or even engage the delusional Tila Tequila so long as you're willing to cough up the equally-delusional $20 per minute.

Not to mention 'Jersey Shore' castoffs, former Charlie Sheen goddesses and that chick who wouldn't marry Hugh Hefner.

It's a real cavalcade of stars.

According to reports, the site is doing brisk business. While Staub is the top earner, having pulled in over six grand since the site's launch (at $18/min), some of the other celebs are doing brisk business as well. Michael Lohan has done over $3000 worth of business, while Octomom is right behind him at almost two grand.

Wow. I don't want to live on this planet anymore.

Seriously. Just when you think there's no way for these people to be any sleazier in their attempts to monetize themselves, some crap like this comes along. All of you people out there, people who are using this website and calling these people: STOP IT! Just stop. All you're doing is encouraging these fame-hungry scumbags. Stuff like this is the reason they can continue to be spotlight whores and clutter up the pop culture landscape. If you stop giving them money, they're going to eventually have to disappear. Maybe get real jobs or something. A novel concept, I know, but the idea of these jackholes directly exploiting some poor bastard's need to feel close to fame just to make a quick buck? Infuriating.

If Alexander Graham Bell was still alive, he'd have some pretty serious questions regarding his life's work right about now. Just saying.

Last modified on Tuesday, 06 September 2016 16:11


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