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Celebrity Slam - Love, fame and playing the game

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We like to believe that we have our collective finger on the pop cultural pulse here at Celebrity Slam. And in some ways, we do. However, the reality is that the zeitgeist is a good deal slipperier than it was even just a few short years ago. The world in which this feature began is very different than the one in which it currently exists.

There are LOTS more famous people out there than there used to be. Many of those people are famous for similar reasons to those who came before, but with the incredible breadth of entertainment offerings that currently surround us, no one (particularly old and lazy people such as ourselves) can expect to fully keep up.

All of this is a long-winded way of saying that there’s some kind of Halsey/G-Eazy/Meg Thee Stallion love triangle controversy thing and we’re not at all sure how to address it because we have only the vaguest idea of who any of these people are.

Basically, G-Eazy and Meg Thee Stallion are maybe kinda sorta starting to be a thing, but G-Eazy is Halsey’s ex and she’s not jazzed about dealing with the fallout; there’s video of her going off on a heckler at a concert who kept shouting G-Eazy’s name because there are some people out there who only feel alive when they’re being absolute chodes.

And … that’s kind of it? We’re only interested because it’s a story featuring legitimate famous people that we a) are definitely aware of (Halsey), b) have definitely heard of (Meg Thee Stallion) and c) have literally never heard of until this specific instance (G-Eazy); it’s an amazing blend of fame levels that serves to point out how steadily we are growing out of touch.

It doesn’t hurt that it presents the opportunity to generate a particularly fun portmanteau, although the Halsey/G-Eazy combo of HalEazy is already pretty legit. Still, we’ve got a good number of syllables as well as an article in one of the names – this is fallow celebrity couple naming ground. There are plenty of directions in which we could go – and we tried them all – but there’s no need to waste your time because the one we landed on is a delight in so many ways.

Say good-bye to HalEazy and hello to MeG Thee Stall-eazy. It’s the perfect blend of awkward and needlessly complicated, a hashtag waiting to happen. But really, the fun part of this story is our legitimately vague understanding of the players involved. Always nice to get a good solid snapshot of the moment when things started really going downhill; we’re only going to be less in the know from here on in. We look forward to shouting at people on our lawns and shaking our fists at the sky and whatnot.

Hey, it’s been a good run.

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In other news, regarding famous people of whom we have definitely heard, Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth have officially pulled the plug on their marriage – both are legally single again.

Real talk: We thought these two were going to make it. Obviously, we love to make fun of celebrity pairings; so many of them are blatant spotlight grabs and eminently mockable. But there are some that seem to spring from someplace genuine, from a real and honest emotional connection with one another. We kind of thought Miley and Liam had that.

And honestly, maybe they did. Maybe they do. Maintaining a relationship is work under the best of circumstances; to do so while under the withering glare of the spotlight is exponentially more difficult.

We won’t make a big show of sharing their now-defunct portmanteau; there’s no need to do anything other than simply go through the motions. Although let’s be honest – Miliam is legitimately good and something that we really could have made happen if we’d just had time.

We’re not going to Slam anybody here. We’re just going to acknowledge that this breakup isn’t a mere part of the cycle. We’re sorry, Miley and Liam – it’s a bummer things didn’t work out. You seem like decent enough people and hopefully you’ll find what you’re looking for.

Oh, and Liam? We hear Halsey is single.

Last modified on Tuesday, 04 February 2020 05:28

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