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Celebrity Slam - June 13, 2012

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Celebrity Slam - June 13, 2012 AP Photo/Darren Decker
Miss Informed?

Beauty pageants are serious business. While the millions of television watchers out there get a chance to watch the ceremony unfold and see all the glitz and glamor, there's a dark underside to events such as the Miss USA competition. One contestant in this year's pageant Miss Pennsylvania is trying to bring some of those dark machinations into the light.

There's only one problem: she's a lunatic.

Sheena Monnin represented the state of Pennsylvania in the recent Miss USA pageant. She didn't win, but according to her, it wasn't because she failed to measure up. Oh no it was because the entire thing is rigged. Her evidence? She claims that one of her fellow contestants (Miss Florida) saw a list of the five finalists before they were announced. Proof! The fix is in!

Not so fast.

The aforementioned Miss Florida has since said that she was only joking about the list of finalists, but Monnin claims that her 'many years of psychological training' allowed her to determine that Miss Florida was lying about joking.

(Miss Florida Karina Brez has issued a statement denying that she told anyone that she knew the identities of the five finalists.)

It gets better. Apparently, the list that Miss Florida saw had only one of the five finalists on it. So Monnin's only 'evidence' has evaporated. Despite that, she's sticking to her guns even some texts came to light from Monnin saying that Misses South Carolina and Colorado were too ugly to carry on in the competition.

To the surprise of no one, pageant owner Donald Trump is suing the crap out of Monnin.

I think we all knew that there was some weird stuff going on in the heads of beauty queens, but this is next-level crazy. Sour grapes is one thing I'd be pissed too if I lost something like this but to claim that the whole thing is rigged because you lost is the worst kind of arrogance. And to keep obstinately clinging to your story as it crumbles around you is just sad. If I had to guess, I'd say that you made up the whole thing in an effort to maintain some level of attention. You're petty, mean and none-to-brightand Mr. Trump is going to take you to the cleaners.

Maybe next time you should skip the psychological training and get some don't-be-a-moron training.

Fight for your right to party

Fans of MTV's 'Jersey Shore' might have been a little concerned about the show's upcoming season. With a pregnant Snooki and an (allegedly) teetotaling Situation, one might think that the over-the-top debauchery of previous incarnations would be a thing of the past.

Feel free to stop worrying.

The 'Jersey Shore' gang was in all their full-on degenerate glory this past weekend. The crew descended on the Bamboo Bar in Seaside Heights to get their party on. Apparently, Roger Mathews (J-Woww's boyfriend) and Ryan Labbe (a friend of Pauly D) got into a confrontation with a couple of guys in the bar. Both sides deny starting the melee, but there were definitely punches thrown.

(Fun fact: Roger is a native Mainer.)

The guys at the bar claim that it was an unprovoked attack and have already retained counsel (convenient, eh?). Meanwhile, the JS crew claims that the two were being confrontational meatheads all night to the point of already having been asked to leave the premises; the guys allegedly threatened to 'knock them out' before taking a swing at Pauly D and causing the brawl to break out.

Meanwhile, Deena spent a night in jail after wandering around drunkenly in the middle of a busy street and disrupting traffic. She was asked to stop and refused, so New Jersey's Finest arrested her, cuffed her and took her to jailwhere she waited until her parents came to bail her out.

Is there any doubt that these people are brain stem-driven animals? They are seemingly incapable of functioning like normal human beings. The jury's still out on the fight; I actually believe Roger and Ryan when they say that they didn't start things, but I also believe that there had to be a way to keep things from escalating.

And maybe stay away from the Bamboo Bar? Pauly D got sued for a fight that happened here in 2009 and Sammi got into a hair-pulling fight there just last year. Maybe find a different bar? One that isn't filled with people who want to fight you?

And as far as Deena, all you can do is shake your head. Drunkenly wandering through traffic and ignoring the voices of reason; you better watch out, Deena Lindsay Lohan might sue you for stealing her bit.

All in all, looks like another delightful season of family fun down at the 'Jersey Shore.'

Last modified on Wednesday, 13 June 2012 14:55

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