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Celebrity Slam - July 4, 2012

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Tom - Kat

Well, anyone who had 5 years, 7 months and 11 days in the TomKat Marriage Length Pool, you are the winner of a brand new set of bragging rights! That's right, Scientology's power couple has called it quits. Katie Holmes filed for divorce from Tom Cruise late last month, setting the rumor mill abuzz.

Now, I'm not going to get into the reasons for the split here, nor am I going to speculate on the rumors that Katie did this to keep Tom from sending their 6-year-old daughter Suri to an intensive Scientology institute called SeaOrg, Or that the Church was tailing Katie as of late. Nope, those are rumors that haven't been confirmed, so we, as the bastion of journalism we so clearly are, cannot in good faith report those claims.

What I am going to focus on here is the child, Suri. Sweetie, you are young, and you have your whole life ahead of you. Do yourself a favor and get interested in math or accounting or something boring like that. Just don't go into the entertainment field. America would probably love to see you be the next Miley or Lindsay, but don't give in. You are better than that.

Back to L.A.

No Divorce to report on yet, but Lamar Odom and Khloe Kardashian are back in the news. It looks like Lamar will be back in Los Angeles again next season, but this time in Clippers red. This will be Odom's second stint with the Clippers (LO was drafted 4th over all by the Clips in 1999).

After spending a year flailing in Dallas, the Mavs have dealt Odom back to Tinsel Town in a 4 team trade. All of that is neat, and Basketball is cool and all, but I really want to know is where does this leave their reality show career?

With Khloe and Lamar back in L.A., will they appear on Keeping Up with the Kardashians more often, or will Lamar & Khloe continue to run as a spin-off? Maybe they will create a third show called Lamar, Khloe and any other Kardashians who may stop by, or maybe even a departure where we just follow all of the PA's around while they try to keep up with the Kardashians (obviously titled Keeping Up with Keeping Up with the Kardashians).

No matter the route they choose one thing is clear, this is a huge win for Kardashian fans out there. Not sure how the math works out for Clippers fans, but since there are many fewer of you, I am less concerned about that. I know, I know, the Clippers aren't a doormat anymore, but in my eyes, they will always be Donald Sterlings money-making losers.

Now, I have finish this treatment for a reality show starring Bruce Jenner and a Pet Rock called Facial Expressions How do they work?

Britney and the Beach

Since we usually report on the mishaps and pitfalls of celebrity life, I felt it would be appropriate to point out someone who seems to be turning it around. I'm looking at you, Britney Spears.

Nobody had a more meteoric fall from grace than Ms. Spears did, and honestly I wouldn't have been very surprised if she spent longer in the Lohan Cycle' than she did. But it seems as though things have turned around for the former pop princess.

Britney went to the beach with her fiance and two children, Sean Preston and Jayden James, and that was it. No shaving her head, no throwing umbrellas at cars, and certainly no wardrobe malfunctions. Nope, just a nice day at the beach with her family.

So, no slam here. Good on ya, Brit. But beware, the Celebrity Slam is always watching. We aren't rooting for a return to your former self, but should it happen, we will have it here.

Last modified on Tuesday, 06 September 2016 16:12

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