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Celebrity Slam - Hood hopping with Julian Edelman

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Based as we are here in Maine, it probably comes as no surprise that the folks at Celebrity Slam are big fans of the NFL’s New England Patriots. We’re homers to the core, we are.

That means that we’ve really been able to enjoy the unprecedented success of the past two decades. One could argue that no other team has been as consistently successful for as long in the history of the NFL.

But even consistent success doesn’t mean winning a title every year. And this year was one of the non-title seasons, with the Patriots falling to the Tennessee Titans in the wild card round of the NFL playoffs. It’s the earliest end to a New England football season in a decade. So what are the Patriots players doing with their spare time?

Let’s ask Julian Edelman.

The star wide receiver for the Patriots landed in a little bit of hot water over the weekend after getting arrested following an incident that allegedly involved him jumping onto the hood of a car.

According to law enforcement, it all went down at around 9 p.m. on Saturday night. Edelman was walking with friends in Beverly Hills when, for reasons that no one seems particularly clear on, he jumped up on the hood of someone’s Mercedes, causing some damage.

Unfortunately for Edelman, police officers were in the immediate area working on a robbery case when someone flagged them down and gave them the 411 on what was happening. When officers arrived, they arrested Edelman and cited him with misdemeanor vandalism before releasing him. He subsequently left with his friends.

Sources indicate that Edelman had likely been drinking, which, duh. One indicator that this might be the case comes from a photo posted by Edelman’s fellow Boston sports legend Paul Pierce; apparently, Pierce, Edelman and the not-quite-legendary Danny Amendola were having dinner together at the posh eatery Cantina Frida, which just so happens to be on the same block as where the incident took place.

Edelman’s reportedly got a court date in April, although this whole thing probably goes away if he and the owner of the Mercedes can come to an understanding.

Look, we love Julian Edelman. He’s been a major part of the last stretch of New England success. He had a good run as one of the best possession receivers in the game, though age and injury have slowed him down a little recently.

For instance, he’s supposedly banged-up right now. Banged-up enough that he’s supposed to have surgery on his left knee. Now, we can’t speak for whatever galaxy-brained treatment regimens there might be out there, but we have to imagine that getting plastered and jumping on a car hood is a great way to practice good knee health.

How is there not someone in his entourage who can say “Hey Julian, maybe don’t jump on the hood of that car” and get him to listen? Of course, there probably IS someone in the entourage who is more than happy to say, “Hey Julian, I bet you can’t jump on the hood of that car,” so who the heck knows?

It does make you wonder, though. Is the continued success of the New England Patriots the only reason that stuff like this isn’t happening more often with Pats players? There have been party guys on the team in the past, but they’ve always held off until after the parade and they’ve never really been the types to land on TMZ when they did go off. But with all this extra time on their hands, maybe they’re ready to get out there and get weird, make some bad decisions, that sort of thing?

(And seriously – come on, Paul Pierce. I expect it from the short slot receivers, but you’re an all-time great and future Hall-of-Famer. And sure, you probably just went back to your huge mansion and watched Netflix or whatever after dinner, but still. You’ve got to set a good example for these little dudes – they look up to you.)

Basically, the moral to the story is that the Patriots need to advance to at least the AFC title game every year to keep Julian Edelman from resorting to drunken petty vandalism. One more reason to root for New England. Or against New England, if you’re into that.

Better luck next year.

Last modified on Wednesday, 15 January 2020 08:32

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