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Celebrity Slam - Depp charge

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Our usual fare here at Celebrity Slam tends toward the verbal and/or self-inflicted mistakes of famous people. We love making fun of the stupid things that these people will say and mocking the idiotic things that they do; however, those actions don’t tend to be violent in nature as a rule. But sometimes they are, and as long as that violence is comedic rather than tragic, well … we’re all in.

Which brings us to Johnny Depp.

It’s no secret that Mr. Depp has been on a bit of a prolonged and relatively slow-moving downward spiral. We’re not going to talk about all of that awfulness right now, though please know that we’re aware of how strange and terrible things are in Captain Jack’s world at the moment.

What we ARE going to talk about is the fact that he punched a guy on set for what really does seem to be no reason at all.

According to reports, a lawsuit has been filed by one Gregg “Rocky” Brooks alleging that Depp punched him while at work on the set of the movie “City of Lies.” In April of 2017, Brooks was working as a location manager for the film. Depp was in charge of a scene that was going poorly and time was running out; there would be time for just one more take.

Brooks claims that he told Depp that he only had one more shot, but became concerned with Depp’s seeming volatility and went in search of a police officer for protection. But before Brooks could find one, Depp was on him, screaming “Who the f—k are you? You have no right to tell me what to do?”

Then, Brooks says that Depp, who reeked of alcohol, punched him twice in the ribs; Brooks didn’t react, which prompted Depp to scream “I will give you $100,000 to punch me in the face right now!” before Depp’s bodyguards pulled the actor away.

Look, we’re of the belief here that everyone is innocent until proven guilty, but can we all agree that Depp obviously did this? Like 100 percent chased a dude down and punched him for having the temerity, the unmitigated gall to presume to tell the great Johnny Depp what to do?

Every word Depp is purported to have said feels squarely in line with his recently demonstrated character. Screaming in someone’s face that they can’t tell him what to do seems like something he does twice before breakfast.

Although we’re most amused by the whole punching thing. So Depp whales on a guy (whose nickname, lest we forget, is “Rocky” – maybe don’t throw hands with that dude) and said guy doesn’t react. Depp’s reaction to that ding to his fragile masculinity is to double down with the classic “I’ll offer to pay you an outrageous sum of money to punch me in the face, even though I have no intention of following through on either end of that bargain” gambit; it’s a standard faux-tough guy maneuver.

Imagine being so addled with entitlement (and let’s be honest, probably plenty of other stuff as well) that your immediate reaction to someone working on the same project you are trying to do their job is to start shouting and throwing punches. It seriously sounds like Johnny Depp is operating at toddler-level, only if the toddler was adult-sized and drunk and fond of scarves and other questionable fashion choices.

We’ve heard all about Depp’s money problems – his wild spending habits coupled by alleged mismanagement by his team have reportedly left him facing a rather grim financial situation. The only solution is to keep working, though he’s thus far been able to avoid the full-blown paycheck chase (also known as the “Nicolas Cage”). However, if you start getting sued for punching dudes while on set, it might start getting a little tougher to find those opportunities.

Basically, it boils down to the fact that the beloved Johnny Depp is gone … and he ain’t coming back. Oh sure, he’s probably got a couple more pirate movies in him and Tim Burton will roll through every few years and quirk him up, but the magic is no more.

Basically, the depths of Depp that people adored just plain aren’t so deep anymore.

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