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Celebrity Slam - Celebrity Fight Club

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Here at Celebrity Slam, we relish the opportunity to take shots at people who are far richer and more famous than we will ever be. Feel free to call us haters if you like, because that is absolutely what we are. And, as the story goes, haters gonna hate.

This week’s hating involves two people who are undeniably famous, yet we here at CS have only the vaguest idea of who they are. Feel free to “OK boomer” us up one side and down the other, because for real – we barely have a clue.

Apparently, one of the biggest sporting events of the weekend took place in Las Vegas – a celebrity boxing match between YouTube stars Logan Paul (we kind of know who he is) and KSI (nope – we got nothing).

Of course, just because we don’t know what the deal is doesn’t mean that the world is as ignorant as we are. And make no mistake – these dudes are capital-F Famous. Both men made their names creating videos for YouTube; each has millions of subscribers and billions of followers.

And on Saturday, they fought each other.

Bear in mind that this was no low-rent event. This fight between two guys making their professional boxing debuts (both had amateur fights in the past) SOLD OUT THE STAPLES CENTER. The event was promoted by Matchbook Boxing and the streaming platform DAZN – legitimate entities both. Thousands of people descended on Los Angeles – tweens and teens, social media influencers and porn stars and even Justin Bieber – to watch these two just whale away on each other.

(For the record, KSI won the six-round bout in a split decision, although there were some who argued that Paul was the better fighter. Not that it matters, but now you know.)

There were other, real fighters on the undercard, guys who have spent their lives honing their skills in an effort to win in the ring. Thanks to Logan Paul/KSI, they received more attention than they had ever gotten before in their entire careers. That’s a good thing, even if the event kind of turned the sport of boxing into even more of a circus than it usually is.

We’re not sure why these two dudes are fighting each other. We could probably find out, but we’re not going to bother. Frankly, it would involve finding out even more about the knuckleheads, which would likely turn our elderly brains into mush. We don’t get it, you see. One of these guys got famous for making goofy videos on Vine, while the other made his name doing streaming commentary on video games (specifically FIFA).

(Yes, we know – this indicates that we actually do know who they are. Fair point, but please know that this officially exhausts our knowledge base regarding KSI. We know a little bit more about Logan Paul – he posted that video of the dead person from the Japanese suicide forest a while back, which was reprehensible. Also, he has a younger brother who is also famous for similar reasons – and also fought on this boxing card – but we can’t be bothered to investigate further.)

This whole thing is about to devolve into a rant about kids today, so before we wind up shaking our fists at clouds and yelling at people to remove themselves from our lawn, we’re just going to leave it at that.


Also, in a brief and unrelated aside, we have another item that, while not necessarily enough to warrant full Celebrity Slam coverage, definitely needed to be mentioned.

Did you hear that Kanye West wants to change his name to Christian Genius Billionaire Kanye West? Because that’s a thing that is happening. A completely unsurprising thing.

The sheer egoism that drives Kanye has reached a point where it’s tough to even be bothered by it. Honestly, we’re kind of impressed. “Christian Genius Billionaire” is a BIG swing – you have to admire the chutzpah behind such a bold maneuver.

Of course, we’ll have to wait and see if anything actually comes of it – Kanye has been known to talk big without following through in the past – but we’re just glad he said it.

You’re the man, Kanye. Shine on, you crazy diamond.

Last modified on Tuesday, 12 November 2019 07:13


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