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Celebrity Slam - Cardi B-eef

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That’s right, friends – beef is on the menu.

We’ve got some prime cut, Grade-A celebrity beef out there in the atmosphere right now. Obviously, we take great pleasure in our beef consumption – so much so that we occasionally overhype some bit of beef or another. We’re not averse to chowing down on some lesser-quality beef if the spirit so moves us, is what we’re saying.

However, there’s no mistaking this next item for anything less than filet mignon. This is some Kobe beef, grass-fed and hormone-free and exquisitely marbled as to provide no less than a tender and divine beef experience.

Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve got Cardi B versis Nicki Minaj. That got your attention, didn’t it?

There’s long been a simmering sense of resentment between these two stars of the music world. It’s unsurprising, really – the entertainment world in general and the music world in particular thrive on the constant generation and maintenance of beef. These two are both wildly famous and incredibly brand conscious – they know how to beef.

However, this one got really good recently when there was a confrontation between the two during New York Fashion Week.

According to reports, it all went down at the Harper’s Bazaar party. Cardi and Nicki both showed up at the soiree; initially, everything seemed to be OK. But it all went rapidly downhill when Cardi approached Nicki’s table – sorry, “aggressively approached,” according to witnesses. She apparently started with a “Let me tell you something…” before getting intercepted by security; Cardi came within inches of making contact with her.

But she wasn’t done.

As she was being pulled away, Cardi took off her shoe and threw it at Nicki. She missed completely, and by all accounts, Nicki maintained her cool throughout the entire confrontation, never giving any indication that she was bothered in the least.

It didn’t end there either. Cardi later sent a message to Nicki that was essentially a declaration of war. The expletive-laden rant was accusatory in tone, saying:

“I've let a lot of [expletive] slide! I let you sneak diss me, I let you lie on me ... But when you mention my child, you choose to like comments about me as a mother, make comments about my abilities to take care of my daughter is when all bets are [expletive] off!!  

“I've worked hard and come too far to let anybody [expletive] with my success!!!! Bitches talk about all that [expletive] in they raps but in real life are [expletive]!!”

Good stuff, right?

We get where Cardi B is coming from. To have one’s aptitude as a parent called into question – particularly by someone with whom you already have a bit of a contentious relationship – has got to be infuriating. It’s no wonder that she reacted so strongly and so viscerally.

But here’s the thing – a shoe? Really? You’re going to try to show everyone how hard you are by throwing a high heel? Obviously, when you’re swept up in the moment, you’re going to make some questionable calls, but that’s a real questionable one. Did you have no Plan B in place? Not to be judgmental, but your name is Cardi B. It’s right there.

Also! And this is probably unfair of us! But you really need to get your punctuation under control!

The sheer number of exclamation points you have here … it’s just too much. It’s bad enough that you end every sentence with at least one, hence negating their ability to emphasize, but you double down twice and drop FOUR at the end of a single sentence. We get what you’re trying to do, but you have to dial that stuff back if you want to be taken seriously. Exclamation point fatigue is no joke, Cardi – be aware.

(Heh – “B” aware.)

Perhaps the best part of this particular beef is that it looks like it might have some legs. Other prominent figures in the hip-hop world are choosing sides, which is glorious. And you never know when or how Nicki is going to retaliate. Will it be a scathing diss track? A lengthy rebuke on Instagram? Both? Or will it be something beyond any expectation?

All we know is that a world in which Cardi B is throwing shoes at Nicki Minaj is a world worth living in.

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