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Celebrity Slam - Beer pong and Bentleys

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Fame is a funny thing. When a person achieves a certain level of fame, fortune and/or notoriety, the world in which they exist irrevocably changes. At that point, the force of their celebrity complete annihilates their perspective. They live in a bubble of sorts, one in which theirs is the only opinion that matters. It’s undoubtedly heavy stuff and probably makes perspective tough to come by.

There are many ways in which this in likely unhealthy, but one of the biggest is also one of the simplest: When you’re really famous, no one is going to tell you that your ideas are bad, even (or especially) if they actually are bad.

This brings us to noted musician/face tattoo aficionado Post Malone, who is in the early stages of executing one of these potentially wrongheaded ideas. Now, we’re not talking about buying a boat or opening a restaurant or becoming a cryptocurrency bro or any of the usual bad choices. This is something altogether different, something that is almost certainly a terrible idea but has a tiny chance to actually turn out brilliantly.

Post Malone wants to start a beer pong league. A global, professional beer pong league.

Malone and his people have filed paperwork to trademark the name “World Pong League.” According to the documents, Malone is proposing a league that will operate beer pong tournaments, competitions, events and exhibitions. He’s also planning on selling all manner of merchandise – branded glassware and cups and balls and the whole beer pong shebang, as well as any piece of casual sportswear you can imagine.

It’s fairly well-known that Malone has a real passion for beer pong – the dude just got the autographs of NFL stars Patrick Mahomes and Travis Kelce tattooed on his body to settle a pong bet, just for example – so this is actually pretty on-brand for him. Apparently, it’s the brainchild of Malone and his manager Dre London. That said, the idea is still very much in the embryonic stages, so even leaving aside the current chaos of the world, it’s going to be a while before you can get out there and chase your pro pong dreams.

Where to even begin with this?

World Pong League is reminiscent of nothing so much as the kind of idea that springs forth fully (albeit hazily) formed from the head of a stoner with an affinity for fringe sports. “Like, what if there was, like, PROFESSIONAL beer pong?” probably isn’t what you want the foundational ethos of your venture to sound like, but hey – you’re not Post Malone, are you?

Now, we’ll grant you that this is certainly a far more creative method of throwing money away than the usual manner in which celebs set their fortunes on fire. You may not agree with it, but you have to respect the hustle.

The fact that Malone had help in crafting this idea, that his manager is somehow in it, well … we’re back to the whole notion that the people surrounding celebrities are incapable of telling their gravy train that their ideas are bad.

Now, one could argue that Malone’s decision-making capabilities were already compromised, what with the aforementioned face tattoos. That’s not us – it’s an aesthetic choice that we may not be down with, but his personal style seems reflective of the brand and persona that he has cultivated. And again, it’s hard to argue that starting a competitive beer pong league is anything other than on-brand. Let’s be real – the Venn diagram of dudes who are a) really into beer pong, and b) really into Post Malone is essentially a circle.

On its face, this is a terrible idea. However, we also can’t deny that there is a slight chance that this thing actually works. Hell, there’s professional cornhole – why not pro beer pong? And if anyone can make it happen, it’s the famous rich guy who’s fanatical about the game.

Ultimately, this isn’t that different from the myriad ways in which the irresponsible rich and famous squander their money. It’s a dumb idea, but is it really any dumber than a million other bonfires onto which people shovel their cash? And who knows? Maybe we’re the ones who are wrong and Post Malone is a visionary. Stranger things have happened.

Last modified on Thursday, 30 July 2020 08:53


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