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Celebrity Slam - August 14, 2013

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Plane stupid

There's something about air travel that can bring out the absolute worst in a celebrity. It's like part of their brain shuts off and they're literally unable to comprehend the possibility that there are rules that apply to, like, everybody and not just us lowly common folk.

This week's offender is hip-hop artist Soulja Boy.

It happened on an American Airlines flight preparing for departure. After the flight attendant took to the microphone and told everyone to take their seats, everyone didexcept Mr. Boy. He just continued wandering up and down the aisle without a care in the world. So he was asked again to take his seat by one of the attendants (as well as being informed of the consequences if he didn't). Displaying the selective hearing possessed by only the utterly entitled, he simply blew her off. And that's when Soulja Boy was removed from the plane.

Positively Baldwin-esque, isn't it?

In the rapper's defense, he actually apologized afterward, claiming it was a bad night and saying that he was sorry for the inconvenience he caused. That's nice and all, but maybe try just sitting down in your seat when you're asked next time. It's not like this is your first time on an airplane. This isn't a private jet, man you're flying commercial. There are other people in this world besides yourself, so maybe act like you've been somewhere. It's not like these flight attendants are telling you to sit as a way to spoil your good time.

Again, showing some contrition is a good thing, but the fact that you're in this spot in the first place says a lot about the kind of person that you are. Just learn some basic air travel etiquette; it's not hard. They're supposed to be friendly skies, after all.

But hey at least he wasn't playing 'Words with Friends.'

You're killing me, Smalls

As many of you probably know, we here at Celebrity Slam sometimes play fast and loose with the definition of 'celebrity.' Occasionally, we get an item that features someone who isn't really a household name, but merits inclusion in this space anyway.

Tom Guiry played Smalls in the classic children's movie 'The Sandlot.' However, it appears that playing a role in an awesome movie two decades ago isn't enough to get you on an airplane if you're visibly wasted.

That's right more airport drama.

When Guiry was told by a United Airlines employee at Bush Intercontinental Airport in Houston that he wasn't fit to fly. Airport police were called and Guiry was given two options: an arrest for public intoxication or a spell in the drunk tank. Guiry, however, chose a surprise (and unfortunate) third option sheer drunken belligerence.

Guiry allegedly became verbally abusive to the officer and went so far as to threaten him. That would be bad enough, but he was actually drunk enough to follow through. Guiry proceeded to attempt to kick the officer in the face before landing an honest-to-goodness headbutt. The actor was eventually dropped, cuffed and booked for felony assault on an officer.

Seriously, Smalls your stepdad Denis Leary is so going to ground you.

This legitimately breaks my heart. There have been a few other 'Sandlot' kids who have gotten into some legal scrapes in recent months; it's sad. It doesn't even sound like he tried to pull any sort of 'Don't you know who I am?' crap he's just a regular old garden-variety drunken asshat. I get that 'arrest' or 'drunk tank' is a Sophie's Choice-esque dilemma, but you wonder what haphazard synaptic firing led to thinking that attacking a cop is the right move.

(Although I will say that he must have shown some real tenacity going after that cop. I mean, after an attempted facekicking, that cop was probably on his guard. And yet Smalls still pulled off the headbutt. I guess he just wanted it more.)

Somewhere, Wendy Peffercorn is sadly shaking her head.

Presented without comment

TMZ has posted photos of Justin Bieber naked, wearing nothing but a guitar. The pictures come from the Bieber family's Thanksgiving celebration last year; the Biebs apparently showed up in the dining room and sang a little song to his grandma while in the buff.

We just thought you should know.

Last modified on Tuesday, 13 August 2013 20:02


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