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Celebrity Slam - April 4, 2012

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Community strife

The NBC show 'Community' has had a bit of a rough go recently. The show just came off a winter hiatus and its status in the network lineup is unclear after this season. Happily, those tensions haven't affected the on-set environment and everyone is pleased as punch to be working together for however much longer it lasts.

Ha! Just kidding. There's a full-on blood feud developing between Chevy Chase, one of the show's stars, and creator Dan Harmon.

While this conflict has allegedly been simmering for a while now, things came to a head during the filming of the season's final episode. Apparently, Chase wasn't feeling a scene and asked Harmon for a rewrite, saying that he wouldn't do the scene as it was currently written. Harmon refused and Chase left the set. There was some tension, but overall, things looked amicable.

Looks can be deceiving.

Harmon escalated the situation at the wrap party, going so far as to launch into an anti-Chase rant and try to start a 'Fk Chevy' chant. Bear in mind, all of this took place in front of Chase's wife and child. Chase's response to Harmon's douchebaggery was a vitriolic voice mail left for Harmon in which he says 'If you were here right now, I'd kick you're f---ing teeth in,' along with 'You're not funny' and a whole lot of other bilious rage-filled sentiments. Harmon's response was to take to the stage at a monthly comedy event he hosts, play the audio of the voice mail and take a few more shots at Chase.

And that's where we're at.

Who would have thought that someone was capable of outshining Chevy Chase in the arena of lunatic self-importance? By all accounts, Chase was nothing but respectful until Harmon's wrap party rant. 'Community' is a wonderful show, but that doesn't give you the right to act like some sort of petty tyrant, debasing those who work with you when they dare question your comedic omniscience. And the more crazy overeating you do, the worse you look.

Congratulations, Dan Harmon. You've out-douched Chevy Chase. Alert the people at Guinness; there's a new world record.

Fool me twice

Levi Johnston is definitely out in the fringes of what we can straight-facedly call 'fame.' However, while his star may have lost some of its luster, he's still a name you know. And bless his idiotic little heart, he's back on our radar for the same reason he popped up on it in the first place.

That's right, folks. He knocked up another one.

This time, the object of Johnston's sweaty hillbilly affections is one Sunny Oglesby, a 20-year-old schoolteacher who also loves in Wasilla, Alaska. And apparently, his previous baby mama Bristol Palin (along with baby grammy Sarah Palin) will be finding out through trashy internet gossip sites like the rest of us.

According to Johnston, Sarah and Todd Palin have been making it almost impossible for him to see his son Tripp. He alleges that the two have gone to great lengths to keep Johnston out of the child's life, even going so far as to lie and say Bristol and Tripp were out of town when they were not.

Please note: this is not any sort of judgment regarding out-of-wedlock pregnancy. No, this is solely a judgment of one thick-headed moron whose entire mental process such as it is takes place south of the equator, so to speak. This dude, who has already proved his fertility on a very public stage, can't be bothered to spring for protection? It was bad enough that we had to hear all about it the first time; do we have this to look forward to every time this loser slips one past the goalie?

Look, wanting to be near your child is an admirable desire. It truly is. But do you really think the proper reaction to being excluded from the kid's life is to stampede out there and make another one?

For the sake of the children, let's hope this deadbeat grows up sometime very soon.


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