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Celebrity Slam - An immodest proposal

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Our affinity for celebrity romances is well-documented here at Celebrity Slam. Even when we have the opportunity to make fun of the misdeeds of the rich and famous, when the opportunity presents itself, we’re always going to go for the love story.

What can we say? We’re romantics.

So obviously, we’re going to have to talk about Kourtney Kardashian and Travis Barker and their recent engagement. That’s right – Travis popped the question and Kourtney said yes.

(This is the part where we talk about how happy we are that we did the heavy lifting and assembled their celebrity couple name back in April, after they’d been dating just a few months. We spent a good deal of time and energy coming up with our winner – Kourtnis Barkdashian. It was that all-too-rare opportunity to go with the double portmanteau, so obviously we took it. For the remainder of this story, we’ll use “Kourtnis,” but please understand that the “Barkdashian” is always – ALWAYS – implied.)

By all accounts, it was a perfectly lovely proposal. The two were at the Rosewood Miramar Beach Hotel in Montecido when they went for a walk on the sand. It appears as though Travis laid out a big, lush arrangement of roses right there on the beach. He got down on one knee and popped the question. It was apparently a big plan, because reports are that a number of their friends and family members were on hand for the moment. There was a private photographer there. Oh, and of course, there were the cameras for the Hulu reality show.

What? OF COURSE there were cameras filming it all for a reality show. These people no longer know how to function or engage in normal human interaction if there aren’t three cameras there to record it and a team of editors waiting to shape it into some sort of narrative.

Sure, the Kardashians walked away from E! after 14 years and 20 years of “Keeping Up with the Kardashians,” but you didn’t think they were just going to stop living their lives for the cameras, did you? That whole family would wither away if they weren’t constantly staring into a lens.

You could try to argue that the timing was coincidental, but come on – you’re going to tell me that the fact that the family had started filming for their new Hulu show less than a month ago and this JUST HAPPENED to be the time that Travis wanted to pop the question? If you believe that, well … you’re probably the target audience for the show, actually.

To be clear, this is not us saying that the Kourtnis Barkdashian relationship is for the benefit of the cameras. The truth is that every indication is that these two are genuinely into each other; yes, they’ve only been dating since the beginning of the year, but they’ve been close friends for far longer than that. This is real (or at least as real as any of these relationships ever are).

Nor are we saying that the engagement itself is suspect. Hell, if all Kourtney wanted was to get married for the show’s benefit, that a-hole Scott Disick certainly presented an opportunity – they even have kids together. But nope – Travis is her man. Kourtnis Barkdashian is real.

Our beef – and it isn’t REALLY a beef, because people can do what they want – is with the fact that this moment of love, a moment that both of the folks involved seem genuinely invested in, was staged and played out for the benefit of audiences that will see it on TV in however many months. Even the post-proposal celebratory dinner – with Kourtney’s sisters and her mom and Travis’s two kids – was recorded for the show.

It’s just a bummer. We expect this kind of thing from celebrities – particularly the reality show brand of celebrities – but it feels particularly icky when something that is by all appearances genuine is given a veneer of falseness by the omnipresence of cameras. Call us old-fashioned.

Anyway – it appears that we’ll be able to keep on riding the Kourtnis Barkdashian train for a while. And we’re grateful for it. We raise our glasses to the happy couple.

Last modified on Wednesday, 20 October 2021 07:17

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