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Celebrity Slam - 2018 Year in Review

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One of the things that we love to do as every year comes to a close is take a look back on everything that we addressed in this space over the past 12 months. It’s a chance to say good-bye to the wackiness and weirdness of the celebrity sphere in 2017. Some of it good, some of it bad … and a whole lot of it just plain dumb.

Let’s take a minute to look back at just a few of the highlights (or lowlights) from Celebrity Slam 2018.

Rather than dwell on the big fish – the Kanyes and Kims of the celebrity realm – we’re instead going to look back at some of the less prominent, yet no less Slammable offenders to appear in this space over the course of the year.

For instance, we took great pleasure in mocking NBA star Steph Curry for expressing doubts regarding the veracity of the moon landing. Yeah – dude implies in public that the moon landing was a hoax. It was reminiscent of the whole Flat Earth business that rolled the through the NBA last year. For whatever reason, basketball players seem to be more inclined to entertain weirdo astronomical conspiracy theories. Curry even did that whole “I was just being ironic/raising awareness” walk back to which these guys invariably resort when they realize that everyone thinks they sound like loons. Good stuff.

Another great and weird Celebrity Slam moment was when we tackled the seemingly unlikely pop music beef between Smashing Pumpkins frontman Billy Corgan and the band Smashmouth – a beef that we (much to our own amusement and self-satisfaction) dubbed “the Smashening.” Even weirder than the pairing was the reason – it was all about the soundtrack to “Shrek.” Corgan told some interviewer that he had been offered the big musical number at the end of the film. However, as literally everyone knows, said number actually featured Smashmouth’s “All-Star,” since the movie came out during that magical time when every seemingly every film somewhat inexplicably featured the song. And then they fought about it on Twitter. 2018 was weird and dumb.

Oh, and it may have gotten lost in the shuffle over the past few months, but do we all remember that Barbara Streisand cloned her dog? Yeah, because that 100 percent happened – BARBARA STREISAND CLONED HER DOG. It’s like a headline from the Weekly World News circa 1999, only real. Obviously, we’re never going to begrudge someone the love of a pet; we’re dog lovers here at Celebrity Slam. But Babs spent six figures on some weird one-percenter sci-fi stuff here. It seems like the sort of cultural marker that future historians can look at as an example of why the empire fell.

In the “less beef, more beef jerky” category, we had the somehow still-simmering feud between 50 Cent and Ja Rule – a fight that began back in 2003 and has transcended the traditional rules of celebrity beef. Like, these two haven’t been relevant musically in a decade or more, but their idiot d—k-measuring contest still makes news.

There was that whole shoe-throwing thing between Cardi B and Nicki Minaj – that was pretty cool. There was the stuff about Azealia Banks doing dark magic, casting spells on Lana Del Rey and getting hair from noted tech CEOs to make protective charms and generally being strange. Plus there was the little matter of the Pusha T/Drake beef that led to Pusha actually recording a diss track that revolved around name-checking the son that Drake may or may not have accepted responsibility for. Also, Katt Williams did some crazy stuff, hence completely staying on brand.

And on and on and on.

This is just a snapshot of some of what we scorned and derided over the past year. We’ve had a lot of fun in 2018 and imagine that we’ll have plenty more in 2019 and beyond. Because here’s the thing – famous people aren’t going to just stop saying and doing stupid stuff. That’s par for the course for celebrities – rampaging egoism is a feature, not a bug. And so, we’ll be right back here in the new year, doing what we do.

So join us in 2019. There’s no telling what kind of shenanigans and/or hijinks the dumb and famous will get up to – shall we find out together?

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