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Celebrity Slam - (12/09/15)

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A son is born

So the second child of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West has been born. The future reality star/cautionary tale a boy went a whole three days without getting named because Kimye Incorporated was still focus grouping possible branding options. The name could have been anything the only thing that the parents had made clear was that daughter North was going to be the only directionally-monikered member of the family. The chance was there to give the kid a relatively normal name as opposed to saddling him with something quirky.

And then they went and named him Saint. Yep, that's his name. Saint West.

No middle name has been announced yet, but I think we can all agree that Kanye is going to push really hard for his own name to serve in that capacity. Is there anything more befitting a narcissist like Kanye than to have a child whose full name is Saint Kanye West? Would it surprise anyone if that turned out to be his endgame?

(Picture this: in the years to come, Kanye is going to go out of his way to encourage the little guy to get up to shenanigans solely so that when the kid gets the full-name treatment from his mom or the nanny or whoever, Kanye can giggle to himself when he hears 'Saint Kanye West' yelled from another room.)

To be fair, Saint is a heck of a lot better than other celebrity baby names (Penn Jillette's daughter Moxie Crimefighter and Jason Lee's son Pilot Inspektor spring immediately to mind). Still, it's probably a bad idea to name your kid in such a way as to highlight your own self-aggrandizing messiah complex. Just saying.

Shake it off

Anyone who pays any attention to this space knows that Celebrity Slam thrives on the interpersonal conflicts of the rich and famous. There's nothing quite as entertaining as celebrities sniping at one another with varying degrees of pettiness and envy.

Most of these conflicts make perfect sense when you read the names of the parties involved. Certain people are bound to butt heads due to proximity or direct competition or what have you. But there are occasions when these conflicts arise between two people that you would never in a million years have expected to clash.

This brings us to the (sadly all-too-brief) saga of Jared Leto and Taylor Swift. A video has surfaced with Leto uttering some NSFW words about Ms. Swift.

Apparently, Leto and one of his Thirty Seconds to Mars bandmates were in the studio and on the hunt for inspiration. So they started listening to Swift's '1989' album. At first, all is well they're critiquing the music and actually being quite complimentary about it until something in Leto snaps and he sums up his feelings with a succinct 'Fk her!'

For his part, Leto seems pretty embarrassed about the whole thing and has already taken to Twitter to say he's sorry, tweeting that he thinks Swift is 'an incredible example of what's possible' before going on to say 'If I hurt her or her fans my sincerest apologies.'

Look, no one thinks that Jared Leto actually wishes any ill will on Taylor Swift. What that video offers is a glimpse at a dude who is visibly frustrated that he doesn't have the level of musical acumen put forth by another artist. He's not mad at her so much as he is mad at himself, unable to unlock the secret that T-Swift has cracked the ability to write wildly successful pop songs.

And honestly isn't that better?

You look at a guy like Leto getting so obviously frustrated with the creative process and there's something oddly endearing about it. He's never made any secret that music is his real love Oscar-winning performances be damned so it's kind of funny to see him so put out at his own shortcomings that he lashes out against Taylor Swift of all people.

Again, he has already apologized. There's no rancor here, just professional jealousy. The show's over before it starts no harm, no foul.

And yet, if we're honestisn't there something just a little satisfying about an extremely talented, extremely good-looking Jared Leto having to accept that he isn't the best at everything?


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