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Celebrity Slam - (09/02/15)

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More VMA magic

As with anything, the Celebrity Slam cycle has its own ebbs and flows. Some times are richer with material, while others are less fertile. It's the nature of the beast.

Of course, there are some times that are just the absolute best. One such time has just come and gone, bringing with it the delightful weirdness and celebrity ridiculousness that we here always enjoy breaking down and bringing to you, the people.

That's right it's MTV's VMA award show. Or as we like to call it around here, 'Celebrity Slam Christmas.'

We'll start with your host for the evening, Hannah Montana herself. Miley Cyrus was the master of ceremonies and basically did exactly what you would expect her to do. She changed costumes a dozen times, with each outfit even more outlandish than the last (at one point, I'm pretty sure she was just wearing a body stocking with balloons stuck to it). She also did some pre-recorded skits and was generally goofy.

Basically, she came off like she raided Lady Gaga's reject closet and had her material written exclusively by SNL's 10-to-one crowd. She's so edgy, you guys. Of course, that is absolutely spot-on for the VMAs.

However, there was one moment where things seemed to go off-script. Nicki Minaj has been voicing her displeasure with what she perceives as disrespect and bias regarding the attention given her music and videos by the VMAs. Cyrus had given an unsurprisingly tone-deaf response in which she ignored the substance of Minaj's complaint and instead took issue with the tone.

Shockingly, Minaj didn't take that particularly well, leading to a tense on-stage back-and-forth between the two during the show one that wound up as the second-most uncomfortably real moment of the evening.

I'll give you three guesses as to who was number one.

That's right Kanye West took to the stage and gave us just the sort of crazy that makes us tune in to the VMAs in the first place. He received the Video Vanguard Award the only one that really means anything at all anymore. The presenter was Taylor Swift, a ham-fisted attempt at going meta that felt forced and awkward. Remember when Kanye did his whole 'I'mma let you finish' thing? Remember that? Because MTV does.

However, what followed was nothing less than postmodern poetry. Kanye held the stage for nearly 15 mesmerizing minutes as he stopped and started his way through a stream-of-consciousness ramble that bizarre and unhinged as it might have been was perhaps the closest thing to the real Kanye West that we've seen in years. He talked about the inherent ridiculousness of awards shows and his regrets about the Swift debacle, talking about getting booed by thousands and the struggles of being the villain. He also shared the fact that he was definitely a little high.

Oh, and he totally announced his intention to run for the Presidency of the United States in 2020.

Such is the joyful absurdity of banal self-celebration that is the VMAs. The best part of this year's show is that the stuff that was obviously manufactured to generate buzz and/or controversy pretty much fell flat. Miley's wardrobe and weed references and her 'accidental' boob flash (Oh, did I forget to mention that she flashed her boob? Yeah, that definitely happened, but honestly, we're long past the point where Miley Cyrus's boobies are newsworthy) are standard stuff par for the course.

But Nicki Minaj staring daggers across the room, telling Miley what she thinks of her on live TV? That's gold. Could it have been staged? Sure. But the stagy stuff tends to get a callback or two over the course of the evening; in this case, it never really came up again. That's some genuine antipathy it's going to be fun seeing how this beef evolves.

And holy crap people think this current election season is crazy? Let's sit back and enjoy the thought of a Kanye-powered run for the White House. It has already been established that a pop cultural figure can just insert himself into the process and enjoy significant success; is there any doubt that Kanye's 'all about me' egotism would make for fascinating political coverage? If nothing else, the campaign events would be outstanding.

So yeah the VMAs. Another delightful Celebrity Slam Christmas in the books.

Last modified on Tuesday, 01 September 2015 20:52


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