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edge staff writer


Celebrity Slam - (01-13-2016)

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Pyramid scheme

It's no secret that there are a handful of famous people who get targeted in this space significantly more often than most. These are the celebrities who can always be relied upon to make bad choices and say unfortunate things and generally just make themselves look clueless and/or delusional.

One of our all-time favorites is Justin Bieber. The Biebs is an ideal subject for Celebrity Slam, a perfect storm of too-early fame, outsized ego and youthful idiocy. In years past, he's provided a lot of fodder. However, it was starting to look like Justin was starting to grow up a little perhaps we would have to move on to greener, more Slammable pastures.

Happily, this turns out not to be the case.

So Bieber was in Mexico and he and his entourage decided to go to a place called Tulum and check out some Mayan ruins. However, it turns out that Justin and his crew were less than respectful. According to reports, Bieber and his buddies showed up carrying open bottles of beer (against the rules) and started giving the staff problems. Then, Bieber decided to climb up one of the pyramids (also against the rules, obviously), which is bad enough, but then he decided to moon everyone.

That's right - Justin Bieber climbed a pyramid, dropped his pants and showed the spirits of the Mayan people his pasty Canadian behind.

As you might expect, the already-upset staff wasn't having it. Bieber and his people were asked to leave, which they did but not without hurling a few final insults at the people who were just trying to treat the site with the respect that it deserved.

This is such a quintessentially Bieber thing to do, isn't it? This is some sort of holdover from peak Bieber, that stretch of time in which you could have heard almost any story about his hijinks and found it believable. After the amount of time he has spent trying to rehab his image as of late, you'd think he'd be a little more on point with regards to observing basic social mores, but what do I know?

OF COURSE he's going to bring beer somewhere he's not supposed to. He's Justin Bieber and he does what he wants. OF COURSE he's going to climb a pyramid after being told he can't. He's Justin Bieber and he's a breathtaking combination of enabled and entitled. OF COURSE he's going to drop his pants and moon people. He's Justin Bieber and he will disrespect you before you can disrespect him to mask his many insecurities.

Frankly, it's remarkable that he's allowed to go anywhere at this point. He can't cross a border without unapologetically committing some egregious faux pas or another. Although it needs to be said that this latest endeavor seems almost cartoonishly antagonistic; yet again, his sad and desperate need to be viewed as a tough guy rears its head. And that's the thing he can't even plead ignorance. This is someone who knows that he's being a d-bag and simply can't be bothered to care.

(By the way - have we taken into consideration that the world thinks Bieber is our fault? He's not ours, but we're the reason he's so famous. He certainly acts like a stereotypically awful foreigner often enough for them to think he's an American. Shouldn't this be addressed somehow? There are plenty of things that are our fault, but Justin Bieber isn't one of them. Food for thought.)

Man. You know, I really thought that the guy had maybe started to turn a corner. It seemed possible that Bieber was maturing to the point where he could leave behind some of the bro-down mindlessness of his younger days. Alas, it wasn't to be.

Don't get me wrong, though - I'm really glad he hasn't. A world with Justin Bieber behaving like a entitled nozzle is a much more oddly entertaining one. It certainly makes this space easier to fill when the Biebs is out there drag racing and throwing eggs and peeing in buckets and disrespecting sacred spaces.

You do you, Justin Bieber. Keep on keeping on.


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