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Celeb Slam (06-08-2016)

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A parting of ways

I guess we all better get ready for some new Taylor Swift songs.

It seems that the pop superstar's relationship with DJ/producer Calvin Harris has come to an end. After 15 months together, the two split, though everything seems a good deal more amicable than some of T-Swift's past break-ups. In truth, the severing of ties seems to be fairly drama-free (though we'll have to wait and see how things play out over the next few weeks).

The official story seems to be that Harris wasn't much of a fan of the Hollywood scene, while Swift was completely enamored. The early, more private part of their relationship suited him well, but as the two became more and more present at things like awards shows and whatnot, Harris's increasing discomfort finally came to a head.

According to sources, Harris is looking to return to a more low-key lifestyle. As to the reports that his jealousy of Swift's success played a part, those same sources scoffed Harris is a globally successful star in his own right.

For now, it seems that the relationship simply came to its natural end and fizzled out.

It's hard not to be cynical about this sort of thing. I suppose it's perfectly plausible that Swift and Harris were genuinely into one another, but one can't help but recognize the convenience of the pairing's dynamic.

Besides, it seems that Swift's musical identity is inextricably tangled up in the threads of her personal life. Is it so far-fetched that her team's plan all along was to maintain this relationship for a certain timeframe call it 12-18 months in an effort to get T-Swift's love life back to baseline? So now she can 'date' some other guy who will inevitably 'break' her 'heart.'

As for Harris come on, guy. Not into the Hollywood scene? Really? Just what did you think it was going to be like dating Taylor Swift? Could you have honestly believed you were going to spend free nights on the couch watching Netflix and eating take-out? It's Taylor Swift, man she's one of the world's biggest pop stars; there's going to be some spotlight.

But hey at least it seems amicable. No one hates anyone, which is a win as far as these kinds of relationships are concerned. He'll go back to holing up at home between massive DJ gigs and producing sessions; she'll start trying to write songs about not-awful break-ups while figuring out what words rhyme with 'Calvin' and 'Harris.'

Of course, we have to be cynical, because if we believe this was real, we have to confront a sad truth: if these two crazy kids can't make it, what chance do the rest of us have?

Checking in with Chris

More Chris Brown? Shocking, I know.

Obviously, we're rapidly approaching Celebrity Slam moratorium territory when it comes to Brown. However, he differs from previous honorees like Lindsay Lohan and Justin Bieber in one huge and crucial way.

He's just awful.

LiLo and the Biebs might have done and said some stupid stuff, but they weren't bad people. Entitled, ego-driven little sts, sure but not BAD. Chris Brown is a bad guy. He has been a bad guy for years and seems hell-bent on continuing to be a bad guy.

So yeah last week, Brown was performing in Cannes when a fight broke out and he went ahead and stomped on a guy's head. The fan in question was hospitalized with injuries to the head and neck.

Brown claims that the guy was a security guard who assaulted him and tried to kick him out, so he and his team 'handled the situation.' The victim flatly denies this, saying that he absolutely was not working security at the club.

Is Chris Brown the first performer to get in a fight with a fan onstage? No. Is he the first to defend himself? No. Is it possible that Brown is catching more hell than he might otherwise simply because he's Chris Brown? Oh, that's definitely what's happening. The benefit of the doubt is long gone he's proven time and again that he is just the worst of the worst.

I suppose there's not really anything else to say. Just remember, as always Chris Brown sucks.

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