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Celeb Slam (05-18-2016)

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Riding dirty

There are certain celebrities that we love to hate. These are the famous folks who inspire our ire with real consistency. Granted, a lot of them even with their constant misdeeds and poor decisions don't necessarily deserve to be hated. Mocked, scorned, derided, disdained absolutely. But hatred is a bit strong for someone you've probably never met.

Chris Brown, though fk that guy.

Everybody's least-favorite pile of human garbage is back in the news for being a complete a-hole and generally alienating pretty much everyone forced to exist in any kind of proximity to him.

His new thing is apparently riding ATVs through the streets of his Tarzana neighborhood. According to one complaint, Brown spent an evening last week with a buddy doing doughnuts all over the neighborhood including on a few lawns. Not only were the ATVs incredibly loud, but there were children out playing. When someone confronted Brown, he reportedly responded with 'Fk you and fk the cops!'

The neighbor followed through on his threat, but when the police showed up at Brown's door, someone else apparently answered. This person informed the police that Brown would not be coming to speak to them and they should direct any questions to Brown's lawyer.

Unsurprisingly, this did little to improve the situation, with officers requesting prosecution for disturbing the peace. The fact that Brown was filmed doing pretty much the same thing the next day is unlikely to help his chances.

In addition to the ATV business, neighbors have also complained of non-stop nighttime noise emanating from Brown's house and a constant stream of gangbanger-types coming in and out of the place at all hours.

For his part, Brown is crying persecution, claiming that the neighbor who shot the video is just angry because Brown is 'rich and black.'

Let's start with the obvious driving ATVs on a public street is illegal in California. Brown can be as indignant as he wants, but the reality is that even if he wasn't being a raging jackhole, he was still breaking the law.

But he WAS being a raging jackhole, because he has no idea how to be anything other than a raging jackhole. He's incapable of functioning as a non-terrible member of society; his perfect storm of talent, entitlement and utter indifference to common decency has resulted in an almost transcendent level of awfulness.

Seriously I know the dude can sing and dance, but at what point is enough enough?

What kind of moron burns rubber on a three-wheeler through a suburban neighborhood? And then goes ahead and tears up a couple of lawns, making an unholy racket and scaring children all the while? And then has the audacity to get mad when someone calls him out for being a dangerous lunatic?

Did he say what the neighbors claim he did? There's no way to really know. However, we do know that when the cops showed up, he was perfectly content to cower on the floor of the bathroom while some member of his entourage told them that he was lawyering up. Hiding under the bathmat isn't going to help your street cred, man even Bieber is better than that.

Busting out the 'rich and black' card is probably the only thing he can think of to defend himself, but here's the thing he totally did what they say he did. I mean, there's actual video of him breaking laws. I don't claim to know the ins and outs of the viability of criminal evidence, but that seems like pretty solid proof to me. When all you can do is say that the dude filming you only filmed you because he might be racist, wellyou can probably consider that particular battle lost. Killing the messenger isn't going to work here.

(In fairness, it's possible that richness and blackness enter into it, but from where I'm sitting, I'd guess the neighbors are mostly angry because of the douchebagginess. Just my two cents.)

Again, I understand the concept of separating art from artist, but some artists are just too horrible. Chris Brown deserves every word of admonishment, every taunt, every judgment spoken against him. Sure, this latest incident isn't that big a deal, but it illustrates the larger truth:

Chris Brown sucks.

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