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edge staff writer


Celeb Slam - (03-23-2016)

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Wizard Katt

Over the years here at Celebrity Slam, we've occasionally had famous people go on extended runs of Slam-worthy brilliance. For weeks or even months at a time, these people would constantly stoke the boiler of our derision and mockery.

Think Charlie Sheen's weeks of goddesses, tiger blood and winning. Think Randy Quaid's furtive time as a fugitive and escape to Canada. Think Justin Bieber's, I don't know, 2014? These are the kinds of runs we're talking about. These are the people who reach that magical 'capable of anything' place.

And it seems like Katt Williams might cut in line.

A woman claims that she was at Katt's home in Malibu a couple of years ago when she apparently used the bathroom without permission. She alleges that an assault was committed by the three other women present. This is an awful thing and sadly unsurprising considering what kind of garbage person Katt Williams is.

However, it is the rest of the allegation that takes this to unprecedented heights.

The woman claims that the three women in Williams's home had a book that contained 'teachings of sorcery and spells' and that there was a fire that was being fed by 'unusual things.' Apparently, Katt Williams's home life is equal parts 'terrible human' and 'Lovecraft enthusiast.'

What's fascinating about this is the fact that this story indicates to us, at any rate that Katt Williams has officially made the leap into what Bill Simmons has dubbed the Tyson Zone. When a famous person enters the Tyson Zone, they have reached the point where they can no longer shock or surprise you with any word or deed, no matter how bizarre and/or insane it might be.

And honestly don't you kind of believe that Katt Williams has his own personal coven of witches and has them perform weird rites and invocations in his living room? For almost anyone else, you'd laugh and dismiss it out of hand, but for him? This is a guy who seems to fly into an inexplicable rage every other time he goes into a store. Is it that much of a stretch to think he might consider casting spells on his enemies? That he might try to call down the wrath of Cthulhu or some other Elder God in order to exact his revenge on Target?

Katt Williams is the kind of guy who fights a store clerk for no reason; we should probably be concerned if he's dabbling with forces beyond the ken of mortal man. Sure, we're PROBABLY fine, but stillyou've been warned.

The Landlord and the Tyga

Note to property owners: if Tyga wants to rent from you, don't let him.

The rapper has become a bit of an expert at leaving landlords holding the bag. He's been sued in the past for not paying rent numerous times; plus, he's actually in the process of being evicted from a place in the Hollywood Hills that he rented in December.

Shockingly, it appears that there is yet another space that Tyga owes for.

This one was for a company owned by the rapper Egypt Last Kings Clothing. According to the suit filed by the landlord, the space was found abandoned and in shambles last June. The place was covered with black paint and Egyptian symbols; there was ink everywhere as well, including poured down the drain, which is a big environmental no-no.

Reimbursement has been requested - $75,000 for cleanup costs and five months of rent. As you might have guessed, Tyga claims that the problems are the landlord's fault and the space isn't up to code.

The degree of apathetic entitlement here is ridiculous. Not only does the guy trash a place that he didn't even pay for, but he has the gall to say it's the landlord's fault. Maybe it was the landlord that covered the walls with ankhs and ibises and crap? And dumped ink on the floor?

That's probably it.

It's enough to make you wonder is he just spending his rent money on jewelry and the armed guards to protect him while he's wearing said jewelry? And yes, that's really a thing.

On the plus side, the process of checking his references is probably hilarious.


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