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Celeb Slab - (03-02-2016)

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Krazy Katt

Celebrity Slam is a numbers game we need to fill this space every week, and so we are profoundly grateful to those famous people who can't go two days without saying or doing something ridiculous and/or awful. Your Biebers, your Kardashians, your Kanyes these are the entitled idiots that really drive this feature.

However, there is something to be said for quality as well. There are a few celebs out there who, while their appearances are rarer than those made by the aforementioned regulars, make up for their infrequency by being just batst when they DO turn up. Randy Quaid and Charlie Sheen have fallen into that role for me.

Another favorite is Katt Williams. Whether he's swinging pool cues in a parking lot or slapping a Target employee before leading authorities on a slow-speed tricycle chase, he's someone who isn't here a lot, but always welcome when he makes the trip.

You see, good old Katt got arrested in Georgia for allegedly getting into a fight with a pool store employee. Apparently, he was shopping at the store and got into an argument with one of the people working there. Clearly deciding that mere words were insufficient, Williams followed up by throwing a pair of goggles at the man before simply going behind the counter and punching the guy.

As you might expect, this resulted in the police being called. And since this isn't the first rodeo for Mr. Williams, when police arrived, they found him lying face down on the ground with his hands behind his back. He was charged with battery and taken to jail.

You have to love a guy who not only gets into a fight at a pool supply store, but gets into enough trouble in enough places that he just gets down on the ground in advance to prepare for his inevitable arrest. And what is it with him and retail workers? Between this and the Target thing, it's enough to make you wonder if Katt Williams is secretly some sort of anti-capitalist vigilante, seeking out and punishing those contributing to a corrupt system designed to keep the masses down. Or maybe he's just a jerk.

Yeah - it's probably the second one.

Carpet (photo)bomb

With the Oscars having just taken place, we would be remiss in our duties if we didn't at least make mention of the big night. And while the ceremony itself was pretty typical, there's definitely some stuff to talk about. We could talk about Chris Rock's strong work as the evening's master of ceremonies. We could talk about bits that landed (Louis CK) and bits that didn't (Stacey Dash). We could talk about DiCaprio's long-awaited win or the dominance of 'Mad Max: Fury Road.'

But we're not going to talk about any of that.

No, we're far more interested in some of the goings-on happening on the red carpet before the show. In particular, we're thinking of the adventures of one man, a hugely famous man who was nevertheless completely at sea amidst the Hollywood elite.

That's right we're talking about Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers.

Rodgers was escorting actress Olivia Munn. Amid the pre-show buzz, the quarterback seemed at a loss with where to stand when Munn was being interviewed by one of the perfectly-coiffed carpet-side talking heads at least at first. Rodgers found his way into the background of an interview with rapper/actor Common and just photobombed the crap out of it. Already infamous in NFL circles for his preternatural photobombing acumen, it proved an ideal time to put his skills on display for the rest of the world to see.

This delights me on a number of levels. First, I would like to think that if I ever found myself serving as an Oscars escort, I too would embrace a similar opportunity. Secondly, when do you suppose the last time was that Aaron Rodgers went somewhere and everyone either a) didn't recognize him, or b) didn't care? It had to be freeing to know that no one expected anything of him other than to stand there and look pretty. And finally, through what I'm sure was a total coincidence but was still awesome, Rodgers (blue) and Munn (orange) were dressed in the colors of a longtime Packers rival the Chicago Bears.

But hey at least it wasn't Peyton Manning.


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