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Celebrity Slam (344)

Wednesday, 05 December 2018 13:15

Celebrity Slam - Calling out Kanye

Written by Allen Adams

There’s a lot of variety when it comes to Celebrity Slam. Working on this feature weekly leads us to discover celebrity idiocy on scales large and small. From faux pas to felonies, we run the gamut here. Sometimes, the stupidity we address is big and awful, packed with significant ramifications.

This will not be one of those times. However, we WILL be addressing a longtime Celebrity Slam favorite.

Kanye’s back, baby!

Wednesday, 28 November 2018 13:34

Celebrity Slam - Tough guy Tekashi69

Written by Allen Adams

Celebrity Slam is supposed to be a fun feature. We mock low-stakes idiocy as it springs from the words and deeds of the rich and famous. We all do dumb stuff, but celebrities do their dumb stuff in the spotlight, so we get to poke a little fun. That’s usually all there is to it.

But sometimes, famous people get into REAL trouble. Sometimes, they commit actual crimes. They engage in for-real illicit activity. Often, the nature of these crimes means that they aren’t appropriate for a space like this one. As a rule, we steer clear. As a rule.

But holy crap, have you SEEN some of this stuff with Tekashi69?

Tuesday, 20 November 2018 10:29

Celebrity Slam - Splash me outside

Written by Allen Adams

Ladies and gentlemen – we’ve got beef!

Now, this isn’t top-tier beef. We’re not talking A-listers or anything like that. That isn’t to say we’re lacking in quality, however. While we might not be dealing with brand names or anything, the truth is that what this beef lacks in familiarity, it more than makes up for in pure meaty trashiness.

It's Bhad Bhabie versus Iggy Azalea in this week’s faceoff.

Wednesday, 14 November 2018 12:07

Celebrity Slam - Mike and Mike's 20 years of giving

Written by Allen Adams

We spend a lot of time in this space laughing at the foibles of the famous. There are few things we love more than watching clueless celebrities snipe at each other over unimportant idiocy or pair up in ways that force us to combine their names in new and interesting ways. That’s no surprise – the name of the feature is Celebrity Slam. It’s what we do here.

However, that isn’t ALL we do. Sometimes, we like to take a step back and recognize that there are people out there who embrace the opportunity to use their fame to do something good. These are the people who give back because it’s the right thing to do, not because the optics are good or whatever. Sometimes, it’s nice to celebrate the good.

This week, as we near Thanksgiving and all that this time of year entails, we thought we might take a few minutes to toot the horns of some local celebrities who won’t necessarily do it themselves, a pair of delightful humans whose hearts have always been in the right place.

Wednesday, 07 November 2018 13:02

Celebrity Slam - Brawlin' Baldwin

Written by Allen Adams

It’s no secret that these days, Celebrity Slam largely runs on hip-hop beef and famous couple portmanteaus. That’s because we tend to take what the world gives us – and that’s part of the fun. Besides, both of those things are delightful – a savory entrée and a sweet dessert.

But those of you who have been with us from the beginning know that we are truly at our best when we can dig into a celebrity’s behavior and really lean into the scorn, mockery and derision. Yes, we love beef, but the two-sided nature of it doesn’t always lend itself to certain brands of snark. And obviously, celebrity couples are the best, but that’s a whole different kind of fun. So it’s nice when someone famous gets involved in something idiotic. Something truly, deeply stupid. Something REALLY dumb.

And so – Alec Baldwin.

Wednesday, 31 October 2018 11:51

Celebrity Slam - Well-aged beef

Written by Allen Adams

Obviously, we love beef. Celebrity beef in all of its forms is a juicy delight – it is big and petty and ultimately more or less harmless. Bearing witness to a pair of celebs – a pair often even more clueless than they are famous – hammering at one another for what is usually the most microscopic of reasons, well … we enjoy it.

Tuesday, 23 October 2018 16:55

Celebrity Slam - Suck my ... spit?

Written by Allen Adams

We try our best to be equal opportunists here are Celebrity Slam. While we obviously focus on the worlds of music, film and television to find the famous folks we adoringly scorn, we’re not wedded to those particular realms. We aren’t “Movie Star Slam” or “Hip-Hop Star Slam” – we’re Celebrity Slam. And there are other celebrities out there.

Specifically, we’re talking about the world of sports. There are professional athletes out there – quite a few of them, actually – whose levels of global fame are as high as any A-lister. Some manage to get even higher. So when they commit a foul, we’re certainly going to call it.

And when a sports scuffle suddenly involves another non-athlete celebrity? Well, then that’s just a delicious Celebrity Slam sundae.

Tuesday, 16 October 2018 17:31

Magical beef from Azealia Banks

Written by Allen Adams

There are some weeks when it can be a little difficult to come up with a really solid entry for Celebrity Slam. There’s just no way of knowing whether we’re going to get the good stuff or have to settle for the merely OK in any given week. Sometimes, we’re left struggling to find something – anything – to fill this space.

Friends, this is not one of those weeks.

Believe it or not, we aren’t talking about the breakup of Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson. Ordinarily, something as pop culturally present as the end of Pariana would be a no-brainer for us. We love breaking down the breaking apart of romantic celebrity portmanteaus almost as much as we love coining them in the first place. And yet – not this week. Why?

Because Azealia Banks and Lana Del Rey are going at it and things are getting WEIRD.

Wednesday, 10 October 2018 11:35

Celebrity Slam - Katt's dog disaster

Written by Allen Adams

In recent weeks, we’ve found ourselves revisiting the same handful of celebrities here at Celebrity Slam. It’s almost a throwback to the Golden Age, when we could reasonably count on Lindsay Lohan and Justin Bieber to just trade off doing stupid crap or simply cycle through Kardashians.

Granted, no one that we’re dealing with has quite ascended to that pantheon. However, we have a couple who have certainly made their cases. And honestly, in terms of sheer Celebrity Slam value – we’re talking per-Slam numbers – a couple of these recent celebs have made a reasonable case for enshrinement.

This brings us to this week’s repeat customer, comedian Katt Williams.

Wednesday, 03 October 2018 11:57

Celebrity Slam - More Cardi B-eef

Written by Allen Adams

It’s no secret that we have our favorites here at Celebrity Slam. Certain famous folks have given us consistent nonsense over an extended period of time; there’s something wonderful about that sense of reliability, of knowing that you’ll always be able to back to that well. Others are like shooting stars, streaking across the sky in a spectacular display of lunatic behavior that burns out too quickly, but is an utter delight while it still shines.

This week, we’ll be discussing someone who falls into that latter category.

Cardi B was featured in this space just a couple of weeks ago thanks to a shoe-throwing altercation with Nicki Minaj during New York Fashion Week. It was the sort of story that we love here, the bubbling over of a long-simmering beef that just happened to take place in a glaringly public place. It was ridiculous and dumb and we were so very happy.

And yet … Cardi B may have outdone herself with her latest antics.

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