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Celebrity Slam (388)

Tuesday, 15 October 2019 20:16

Celebrity Slam - T-Swift's banned banner

Written by Allen Adams

We’ve had a whole lot of fun at Taylor Swift’s expense in this space over the years. It comes with the territory when you’re as ultra-famous as she is – people are going to take swings. For the most part, our jabs at T-Swift have been gentle one; mostly, we just like to tease her about her choices of boyfriend. Anyone remember Hiddleswift? Because that was a thing for five minutes a few years back.

Yeah – you forgot. But it happened.

This week, we’ll be gently teasing Taylor once again. But it has nothing to do with her relationships. This time, it’s all about … hockey?

*checks notes*

Yep. Hockey.

Tuesday, 08 October 2019 13:51

Celebrity Slam - ABG DQ

Written by Allen Adams

The title of this feature is “Celebrity Slam,” right? But here’s the thing: while the majority of the items included in this space involve people who are REALLY famous – movie stars and hip-hop moguls and top-tier athletes and what have you – we also have plenty of time for those celebrities who live their lives a few rungs farther down that particular ladder.

That’s where we find the reality TV grifters and the YouTubers and the faded child stars and the boy band castoffs – people who are definitely celebrities, but whose listing is a bit closer to the end of the alphabet than the beginning. And while you might not always know who these people are, if they make it into this space, you can rest assured that who they are matters a heck of a lot less than what they did.

So now we talk about the Angry Bagel Guy. Not sure who that is? That’s fine – you’re better off.

Tuesday, 01 October 2019 15:39

Celebrity Slam - 6ix9nine snitches

Written by Allen Adams

It’s no secret that we get a lot of mileage out of beefs here at Celebrity Slam. These sorts of celebrity feuds are great fun for us to explore, scorning and mocking the nonsense spouted from famous people of all stripes.

But sometimes, we get something that allows us to dig a little deeper. We get someone who is fully committed to being as big a jerk as possible. Whatever the reasons behind their behavior, there’s a lot of joy to be derived from them.

And every once in a while, we get a REALLY good one.

For those who are unaware, hip-hop artist Tekashi 6ix9ine (yes, that’s how he spells his name) has been dealing with the repercussions of his purported gang affiliations. His method of dealing with that has been essentially to name names, outing a number of fellow artists – including notables like Cardi B and Jim Jones – and spelling out their specific affiliations.

The majority of our time here at Celebrity Slam is spent making fun of famous people for saying and doing stupid things. Well – that and beefs and relationship portmanteaux, of course.

But every once in a while, an item comes along that reminds us of just how far afield things can go. Here’s the thing: while there are plenty of strange famous people out there, there are a handful who are outright weirdoes. People who would be weird under any circumstances but who have been rendered particularly odd by their career paths and such.

This brings us to Terrence Howard.

Wednesday, 18 September 2019 08:34

Celebrity Slam - So long, Shane Gillis

Written by Allen Adams

There are weeks when this feature essentially writes itself. Something ridiculous is said or done by/happens to an incredibly famous person and we’re off to the races. Maybe there’s an incongruous and surprising Twitter beef. Maybe a celebrity couple makes it official. Whatever – it happens a lot.

But then there are the weeks – much more infrequent – where we’re left to decide whether or not we want to cover a particular story. For whatever reason, it isn’t necessarily an item that really demands that we cover it. It’s too complicated or too serious or too … something.

So we weren’t sure that we were going to weigh in on the whole Shane Gillis thing. But hey – nothing else presented itself, so we’re just going to go ahead and wade in. Wish us luck.

Tuesday, 10 September 2019 17:14

Celebrity Slam - Fly the unfriendly skies

Written by Allen Adams

Anyone that spends any time with us in this space knows how much we love it when famous folks misbehave. It’s our whole raison d’etre, you know? Of course, there are different sorts of celebrity shenanigans, an assortment of subgenres that each have their own appeal.

For instance, there’s Twitter beef, which is itself a subcategory of regular beef – you know we love famous feuds here at Celebrity Slam. Or “Don’t you know who I am?” outbursts – those are really great, particularly when you deal with that particular brand that involves someone no longer famous enough to credibly ask that question in a vacuum.

This week, we’re going to discuss another beloved subgenre – celebrities misbehaving in airports. But while we usually take great delight in this actor or that musician doing something stupid while waiting for or on-board a plane (usually involving booze and/or inappropriate urination), this week’s item is going to focus on someone who may well have been unfairly maligned (THIS time).

It involves Bobby Brown drunk on a plane, but the payoff isn’t nearly what you’d think.

Wednesday, 04 September 2019 10:57

Celebrity Slam - Fetty whoop ass

Written by Allen Adams

We’re going to be up front with you right from the get-go – this isn’t necessarily a banner week for Celebrity Slam. For whatever reason, this cycle has been pretty light on the sorts of things that we tend to really dig into in this space. Even the VMAs – usually such a reliable source for Slammable stories – failed to deliver this year.

We understand that you have high standards with regards to the idiocy that we cover here, but the truth is that it was slim pickings. You come to us in search of precious gems.

What you get – at least this week – is Fetty Wap punching some dudes in Vegas.

Tuesday, 27 August 2019 15:41

Celebrity Slam - Pete Davidson yells at cloud

Written by Allen Adams

We’ve been known to occasionally get a little crotchety here at Celebrity Slam. We’ve been at this for some time now and the world is constantly changing and evolving. What mattered yesterday is forgotten today and nostalgically embraced tomorrow. Do we like change? Not really. But we begrudgingly accept it.

That said, we’re still susceptible to an “old man yells at cloud” moment every now and then. However, when we have them, we tend not to do so in a public forum.

Pete Davidson, on the other hand …

Wednesday, 21 August 2019 09:27

Celebrity Slam - Homewrecking ball

Written by Allen Adams

Our love for celebrity romances knows no bounds here at Celebrity Slam. Anyone who reads this space with any kind of regularity is aware that we derive great joy from the creation of famous couple portmanteaus. We love them so much, in fact, that we often find ourselves unable to address the endings of those relationships. Really, we’re just big softies. Romantics at heart.

But here’s the thing: we’re only human. And sometimes, one of these breakups blows up in such a spectacular fashion that we would not be doing our due diligence if we didn’t at least kick the tires.

And so we arrive at the ongoing breakup saga of Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth.

Tuesday, 13 August 2019 14:58

Celebrity Slam - Kid Rock in a hard place

Written by Allen Adams

One of the things we love most about working in this space every week is that you never really know what’s going to happen. The sorts of celebrities we tend to deal with are mercurial by their very nature, meaning that we can never be certain of just how things are going to play out. There are plenty of unexpected romantic pairings and LOADS of unexpected beef.

We’ll be dealing with the latter this week, though if you spent any amount of time online this weekend, you likely already know where we’re going with this – we’ve got beef between Kid Rock and Taylor Swift.

You read that right.

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