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Todd Parker Todd Parker
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Todd Parker - (03-30-2016)

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Dear Todd Parker,

I've asked everyone I know for advice about this, so I figured I'd ask you too.

My girlfriend and I have been seeing each other for almost three years now. We've lived together for the past year and everything is just wonderful. I mean, sure, we occasionally argue, but for the most part we're in a constant state of happy bliss.

Here's the thing. I want to ask her to marry me. Now, we don't have a lot of money, but I want this to be the most memorable moment in her life. I want to do it up right - fancy dinner, flowers everywhere, romantic music - the whole shebang. I also want to get her a huge diamond and do the whole traditional down-on-one-knee thing.

Now, she's a girl of relatively simple tastes. I know she doesn't expect all this stuff from me, but I want to do it anyway, because she deserves it.

Do you have any thoughts? Maybe some additional stuff that could make the evening really special?

Popping the question in Bangor

Dear Popping,

Aren't you just the sweetest thing? It must be dusty here at the Todd Parker estate, because my eyes are watering all of a sudden.

Such a beautiful sentiment, my friend. Your lady is lucky to have you, and I bet she knows it, because only an exceedingly loving and wonderful woman could possibly inspires such a delightful proposal.

It sounds like you have all the bases covered. My only suggestions would be specific details within your lovely framework. Make sure that the food is her favorite, and that the flowers have some sort of special connection to your relationship - maybe the same kind as the first flowers you ever gave her? I'm sure a couple as in love as you two also have your own song; have that be playing at the moment of truth.

Other than that, it sounds like she'd be nuts to say no. Best of luck to you both.

Psyche! Just kidding! You're obviously delusional, dude. It's too much, and what's worse is that you KNOW it's too much. Know your audience, man. If your lady has any sense in her head, she'd run screaming from the cheesy clich fest that your whole wannabe-rom-com proposal would almost certainly become. Be the guy that she loves, not the guy that you've seen in 'Love Actually.' Moron.

April Fools!

Last modified on Wednesday, 30 March 2016 14:32


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