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Todd Parker Todd Parker
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Todd Parker 01-27-2016

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Dear Todd Parker,

I just got out of a relationship that had been going for almost two years. It was really good for a long time, but over the last six months, I was starting to feel like it just wasn't going to work. I had talked to my boyfriend about the issues I was having and he seemed sympathetic to my feelings. I just wanted him to know that things weren't working for me.

A couple of weeks after we had that conversation, he broke up with me. Just like that. Even though I was planning on breaking up with him if we couldn't work our stuff out, I didn't expect him to pull the plug like that. It just felt so cold-blooded it was like he'd rather just walk away than make an effort toward fixing the problem.

The worst part about it is that now all I can do is think about him. Our breakup was obviously for the best; we are going in very different directions in our lives. But part of me just wishes that he would have been willing to at least try. It makes me feel as if I wasted a whole lot of my time on someone who just didn't care that much about me in the first place.

Am I talking crazy? How do I move past this and get on with my life?

Broken-Hearted in Bangor

Dear Broken-Hearted,

Yep. That there is some crazy talk.

Breaking up is an emotionally tumultuous time, BH. You need to make sure that you're constantly aware of that especially when 2 AM rolls around and you've had one or two too many. You're going to want to call him. Don't.

For real. Don't.

You need to take a long hard look in the mirror and ask yourself this question: would you still be feeling this way if you had been the one to pull the trigger? Think about it; you said yourself that you hadn't been happy in the relationship for a long time. Plus the dude clearly was ready to bail just as soon as you asked him to do anything beyond the bare minimum on which he had been skating by for so long.

By the way, this guy definitely pulled a big-time d-bag maneuver on you. Try really hard not to forget that. From here, it sure looks like he saw the writing on the wall and went preemptive strike on you. It sucks and it's not fair, but there you go. He clearly wasn't willing to do what it took to maintain a happy, healthy relationship.

Again,do not call him.

He made his choice. He chose the easy path and frankly, it sounds like that's kind of the guy's regular MO. That's what it looks like from here, anyway. I'm sure he had his positive qualities you stuck it out for two years, after all but he went out like a punk.

Let him go. It's going to be hard, but remember that you deserve better than that. Everyone does. You can do better and you will do better. Consider that a Todd Parker promise.


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