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Todd Parker Todd Parker
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Dear Todd Parker, (11/19/14)

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Thanksgiving is coming and my kids are coming back home for the holiday. My wife and I are very much looking forward to having them all under one roof again. My older son is coming with his wife and their daughter and my daughter is bringing her husband. None of this is a problem.

The problem is with my younger son.

He's coming home and he's bringing his girlfriend with him. Now, we're not the biggest fans of this woman, but she and our son have been together for almost two years now, so we assume she's not going anywhere anytime soon. However, this is the first time he has brought her home with him.

The issue is that he wants to share a room with her when they stay here. We're not prudes (and we're not idiots); we have a pretty good idea how things work when two people have been together as long as they have. We're just not thrilled with the idea of the two of them sharing a bed in our house.

Like I said, we're not stupid. I just don't think it's too much to ask for them to allow us something in the way of plausible deniability. I don't want to pull the 'our house, our rules' line, but I'm not sure how else to handle it.

I don't suppose you have any words of wisdom on the matter?

Concerned in Bangor

Dear Concerned,

There's something very charming about the old-fashioned attitude being expressed in this letter. You're also quite progressive in the degree of awareness regarding the realities of the situation.

I get it. You don't want your baby boy getting down to business in your house outside the bonds of matrimony. You particularly don't want him getting down to business with a girl that you don't really like all that much. It makes sense; no parent wants little Billy's childhood room to become sordid and sullied. No den of iniquity should have bunk beds in it.

Unfortunately, you're going to have to deal with the fact that little Billy is an adult now. He's all grown up, and part of being grown up is spending time with ladies and occasionally doing stuff with (and to) them. Your desire for plausible deniability is understandable and you're well within your rights to put your proverbial foot down, but you're also going to have to be ready to deal with potential consequences.

It sucks, but we men are sometimes led to make bad choices in deference to the women in our lives. What happens if you say no and then little Billy tells his lady and his lady goes full ultimatum? 'We're not going to your parents' house your mom doesn't like me anyway!' Are you sure that he'll choose you guys?

It's up to you. Like you said, it's your house so it's your rules. It's sweet that you want to maintain that degree of innocence with regards to your son. You just need to accept the possibility that he isn't interested in being your little boy anymore.

Let's just cross our fingers that whatever happens, no boots will be knocked.


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