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Ask Todd Parker - Oct. 24, 2012

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Dear Todd Parker,

I have something that has been weighing on my mind for a while now, and I was hoping to get your opinion on the subject.

Why do girls have such a problem with farting?

Me and my friends, we think farts are hilarious. Always. Doesn't matter the context or the situation. When we hear that sound, we laugh. But girls don't find them nearly as amusing as we do. They wrinkle their noses and call us disgusting or whatever. They basically act like they don't fart, even though they do. Everybody farts, right?

So what's the deal? Yeah, they're kind of gross and they smell bad. So what? We're all human beings. Our bodies all work in pretty much the same way. So what's the problem with finding the humor in it?

I have a girlfriend, by the way. She doesn't think farts are that funny either, but she at least tolerates the fact that I do.

What's your take?

- Gassy in Bangor

Dear Gassy,

Your girlfriend is one lucky lady to have a class act like you in her life.

Listen up, Stinky - there are a multitude of differences between us and them. You need to accept that. For whatever reason, most chicks don't dig on farting. That's their right. No matter how funny you think something is, other people don't have to agree. Yes, farts are hilarious to us, but they shouldn't be judged for not thinking so. People shouldn't be judged for their sense of humor.

Well, except the people who laugh at Carlos Mencia, but that's another story.

Personally, there are few things that I find more hilarious than a good cheek-flapping fart. The more inappropriate the situation, the better. If it's a full-on trumpet blast, one of those real eye-watering guys that causes cottonmouth - pure magic. I take great pride in generating something that smells like someone butchering a pig in the middle of a dumpster fire. That doesn't mean that I don't understand why someone else might be disgusted by it. I don't agree, but I get it.

Of course, there are women out there who are amused by farting. Just like there are dudes out there who find it repulsive. It's a big wide world out there, Smelly McGee, filled with all sorts of different opinions. Try and be respectful, Swampass.

Smell you later.


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