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Todd Parker Todd Parker
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Ask Todd Parker - August 7, 2013

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Dear Todd Parker,

My sister and her husband have a little boy who just turned three years old. He can be a bit of a terror they're very much from the 'never say no' school of parenting but he's a pretty cute kid. He's definitely sharp as a tack and generally sweet, if a bit rambunctious.

However, there's one problem that refuses to go away. The kid won't stay potty-trained.

Notice I didn't say that he isn't potty-trained. He has gone through the whole process not once, but twice all the way up through to eschewing even pull-ups or any of those other halfway measures. But both times they've gotten him trained, something has come up a family trip or some such nonsense and rather than make the tiny bit of extra effort to keep him on the poopless pants path, they just put him back in pull-ups and let him pee freely.

It drives me crazy. I know some kids take longer than others to train, but they just aren't being consistent with the poor little guy. There's no reason for him to still be dropping deuces in the living room. I know it's none of my business, but shouldn't I say something to them?

Bathroom Befuddlement

Dear Befuddlement,

Are you kidding me with this?

You're absolutely right: it is none of your business. And there is literally nothing to be gained from you sticking your nose where it doesn't belong.

Don't get me wrong it's gross. And it sucks for that poor kid to keep skating up to the precipice of that glorious big-boy moment, only to be yanked back by a combination of inconvenience and parental inattention. Freud would have had a field day with this if you caught him between cocaine binges.

But you putting in your two cents is madness.  Your sister and brother-in-law aren't stupid people; they have to know they're dropping the ball with this stuff. You piping up to tell them that their kid is stinky isn't going to help matters any. In fact, they'll probably resent you for even bringing it up.

You've just got to face facts; you're going to have a short-soiling nephew for at least a while longer. There's nothing to be done; just grin and bear it. He takes a crap in the coat closet or soaks all four walls of the bathroom in urine? Oh well. That's just how it's going to be until his parents finally get sick of cleaning up the messes. Eventually, they're going to want a kid who doesn't need a shower every time he takes a leak. Until then?

C'est la pee.

Last modified on Tuesday, 13 August 2013 20:02


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