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Wednesday, 12 December 2018 14:12

Celebrity Slam - Fly me to the moon

Written by Allen Adams

There are a lot of things that we LOVE to mock here at Celebrity Slam. The deeds and words of the rich and famous provide endless fodder for our scorn and derision. There’s a reason we’ve been able to do this for over a decade and have no plans to stop anytime soon.

However, there are some moments that we enjoy more than others. That’s when a special brand of stupidity bubbles to the surface, a perfect storm of idiocy and ignorance that allows us to really plumb the depths of dumbness that some of these people bring to the table.

One of our favorite subsets in this category is professional athletes. Specifically, professional athletes who profess to disbelieve certain basically understood truths about the world. For instance, we had a lot of fun with Kyrie Irving when he expressed his belief that the world was flat. That’s tinfoil hat crazy talk and we were delighted to laugh at it.

And now, we have Steph Curry. So what weirdness does Steph Curry believe? Is it that the Earth is flat? No.

Steph Curry doesn’t believe that we landed on the moon.

Wednesday, 12 December 2018 14:10

Weird National Briefs (12/12/2018)

Written by Allen Adams

Uranus paper wiped

URANUS, Mo. - The Uranus Examiner, a small Missouri newspaper whose name inspired chuckles and groans when it launched a few months ago, is closing.

Wednesday, 05 December 2018 13:15

Celebrity Slam - Calling out Kanye

Written by Allen Adams

There’s a lot of variety when it comes to Celebrity Slam. Working on this feature weekly leads us to discover celebrity idiocy on scales large and small. From faux pas to felonies, we run the gamut here. Sometimes, the stupidity we address is big and awful, packed with significant ramifications.

This will not be one of those times. However, we WILL be addressing a longtime Celebrity Slam favorite.

Kanye’s back, baby!

Wednesday, 05 December 2018 13:13

Weird National Briefs (12/05/2018)

Written by Allen Adams

Shoe business

LOS ANGELES - Payless taught fashion influencers a lesson about shoes by opening a fake store that sold Main Street shoes at Madison Avenue prices.

Wednesday, 28 November 2018 13:34

Celebrity Slam - Tough guy Tekashi69

Written by Allen Adams

Celebrity Slam is supposed to be a fun feature. We mock low-stakes idiocy as it springs from the words and deeds of the rich and famous. We all do dumb stuff, but celebrities do their dumb stuff in the spotlight, so we get to poke a little fun. That’s usually all there is to it.

But sometimes, famous people get into REAL trouble. Sometimes, they commit actual crimes. They engage in for-real illicit activity. Often, the nature of these crimes means that they aren’t appropriate for a space like this one. As a rule, we steer clear. As a rule.

But holy crap, have you SEEN some of this stuff with Tekashi69?

Wednesday, 28 November 2018 13:32

Weird National Briefs (11/28/2018)

Written by Allen Adams

Police paucity

RANDOLPH, Vt. - Officials in the Vermont town of Randolph are considering what to do about local law enforcement after all members of the local police department quit over the course of the year.

Vermont Public Radio reports the members of the department didn’t quit all at once to make a statement, the officers just moved on to other opportunities.

Since the spring all six full-time members quit, one-by-one, the last one leaving in September. Since then the Orange County Sheriff’s Department has covered the town of about 2,000.

In 2017 the Randolph police department budget was almost $600,000.

Selectboard member Larry Satcowitz says there’s no consensus on what to do. And if new officers are hired the community will have to renovate the police department at an estimated cost of $1 million.

TME – This is going to be “Super Troopers 3,” isn’t it?

Tuesday, 20 November 2018 10:29

Celebrity Slam - Splash me outside

Written by Allen Adams

Ladies and gentlemen – we’ve got beef!

Now, this isn’t top-tier beef. We’re not talking A-listers or anything like that. That isn’t to say we’re lacking in quality, however. While we might not be dealing with brand names or anything, the truth is that what this beef lacks in familiarity, it more than makes up for in pure meaty trashiness.

It's Bhad Bhabie versus Iggy Azalea in this week’s faceoff.

Tuesday, 20 November 2018 10:26

Weird National Briefs (11/21/2018)

Written by Allen Adams

Prison pancakes

NEWNAN, Ga. - An inmate fled a Georgia jail with the help of his mom and then went out for pancakes.

News outlets report 27-year-old Joshua Gullatt and 54-year-old Kathy Lynn Pence were arrested Tuesday at an IHOP restaurant where they met with his children.

Gullatt had slipped out a side door of the Heard County jail hours earlier. Investigators then listened to a phone call Gullatt made to Pence about the escape.

Sheriff's Office Sgt. Dan Boswell says it just so happened that during that same phone call, Pence was pulled over for running a stop sign, so authorities identified her car, and tracked her phone to the Newnan IHOP.

Gullatt had been slated for work release. Now he's charged with felony escape and his mother is charged with aiding and abetting.

TME – IHOP: I Hopped Outta Prison.

Wednesday, 14 November 2018 12:07

Celebrity Slam - Mike and Mike's 20 years of giving

Written by Allen Adams

We spend a lot of time in this space laughing at the foibles of the famous. There are few things we love more than watching clueless celebrities snipe at each other over unimportant idiocy or pair up in ways that force us to combine their names in new and interesting ways. That’s no surprise – the name of the feature is Celebrity Slam. It’s what we do here.

However, that isn’t ALL we do. Sometimes, we like to take a step back and recognize that there are people out there who embrace the opportunity to use their fame to do something good. These are the people who give back because it’s the right thing to do, not because the optics are good or whatever. Sometimes, it’s nice to celebrate the good.

This week, as we near Thanksgiving and all that this time of year entails, we thought we might take a few minutes to toot the horns of some local celebrities who won’t necessarily do it themselves, a pair of delightful humans whose hearts have always been in the right place.

Wednesday, 14 November 2018 12:06

Weird National Briefs (11/14/2018)

Written by Allen Adams

Odd couple

CHARLOTTE, N.C. - A North Carolina animal shelter says the close bond between a donkey and an emu that can barely stand to be separated may complicate an adoption.

The Charlotte Observer reports the male donkey and female emu were rescued from Kershaw, South Carolina when their owner suddenly vanished last week. Jennifer Gordon of nonprofit Carolina Waterfowl Rescue near Charlotte says the owner also left behind other animals.

She says the shelter, which has not yet named the animals, tried separating them. But the donkey cried and the emu became frantic.

She says the donkey doesn’t even like the shelter’s other donkeys. She says the two cuddle and sleep together. She says they can’t be separated, so someone needs to adopt both animals and “that may not be easy.”

TME – The Disney screenplay writes itself.

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