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Aaron Waite Aaron Waite
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Wii Bowling: The Rock Opera

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I'm just a poor boy, bad at Wii Bowling

Cold blue eyes, calculating.

Red hair, brushed away from face.

Wiimote gripped like a weapon

And a consistent guise of grace

As she squints at her targets

Tiny 10-pins, arranged like

Helpless, tipsy victims

Attacked by an eight-pound, round blight

A 7-10 split! and I smirk

Knowing that the end is nigh

She finishes her streak of

Spares and how-did-you-do-that strikes

I have a chance this time

Just a hope and just a prayer

That my reputation as a gamer

Could somehow this day be spared

For weeks and months, she dogged me

A non-gamer destroyed my scores

I've ranted and raved for answers

My ego, battered and sore

She's recovered from her mistake

And she's thrown another strike

My visage becomes downcast

As I slowly lose this fight

I stare down these tiny pins

These banes of my existence

And I vow, right then and there,

To win through sheer persistence

With the Wiimote strapped securely

To my weak and girly hand

I wind up like Roger Clemens

And I chuck it like a man

I watch the subtle spin

Of a ball thrown by a master

I watch the subtle spin

Of a ball thrown to the gutter

I drop to my knees in despair

My arms fall to the floor

My imitation of Darth Vader

A long and mournful 'NOOOOO!'

And my beautiful, red-headed maelstrom

My current love and future wife

With all the pity that's within her

With all the affability of a knife

She smiles down upon me

Her eyes blue like the sea

With a smug grin of victory,

Asks, 'best two out of three?'

Aaron Waite eventually won a game of 'Wii Bowling' against his fiancee, Janelle. She may tell a different story, but he's sticking to his guns.


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