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Time Waster Weekly (367)

Tuesday, 13 August 2013 19:09

Time Waster - Cookie Clicker

Written by Katy England

So, there are a lot of ways to waste your time on the internet. Some are fun, some are boring, and some are just weird. This is the latter. Cookie Clicker is not just the title of the game at http://orteil.dashnet.org/experiments/cookie/, it's the entirety of the game.

You just click on it. At first the text at the top of the screen tells you that no one likes your cookies. As you click and presumably make more, this improves and many people like your cookies. That's right, you've just been clicking on a cartoon cookie. 

Friday, 09 August 2013 12:49

Time Waster - The Last Door

Written by Katy England

When was the last time a pixelated game scared you? I have horrific memories of being chased out of Hagatha's cave but a fast-moving, green-faced, cackling witch in 'King's Quest II,' but it's been a while since I've been truly jumped by a game that came from an 8-bit color palate.  Until 'The Last Door.'

This game starts dark you literally get to assist in an 8-bit suicide. But then the point of view changes, and you are a friend of Anthony Beechwood, who returns to the Beechwood Manor to investigate after receiving a cryptic letter from the gent who just offed himself.

Thursday, 01 August 2013 12:09

Haunt the House

Written by Katy England

You're a ghost, and there are a bunch of real, live people occupying your house. This upsets you. So you do what any adorable, blue-collar (ruffly blue collar, I might add) ghost would do: you scare the pants off them so they leave.

Ah, but there's a fine line between spooking someone enough so they run screaming out the door and terrifying them to the point that they throw themselves out the window of the uppermost floor. Your goal is to get rid of as many as you can (otherwise, your peaceful existence as the lone haunt ends and you have to share space with the unfortunate people you drove to an early grave serves you right, really).

Wednesday, 24 July 2013 21:01

Co-optitude

Written by Katy England

Oh, internet, there are so many fun things to do and watch. But if you haven't gotten a chance to watch Co-optitude with the ever-adorable Felicia and Ryon Day, then your geekery is sadly lacking.

The siblings play retro games on retro systems, including the original Sega Playstation, Nitendo 64 and other consoles. The only consistent aspect to the show is that the games have to offer a two-player option. So you get to watch them try to learn new systems and crazy controls while they narrate their experiences playing some of these games from our childhood (or from legend, since not all of our readers were alive when Sonic the Hedgehog was an actual game people wanted to play).

Thursday, 18 July 2013 09:59

Monty's Moon

Written by Katy England

I love a decent launcher game, and that is the long and the short of what 'Monty's Moon' is. You control Monty the Monkey who has struck out in love on Earth, so he sets his sights on the Moon. But in order to get there he needs to launch himself repeatedly, braving flying birds and other obstacles (mostly birds, lots and lots of stupid birds) on his way to the moon.

This game follows the typical fail-then-upgrade motif. As you soar through the air, you are collecting bananas that you then trade for better technology. The better your tech, the higher you go. But you still crash back down to earth, time and time again. You can get better outfits, better bunches of banana, more fuel, etc.

Thursday, 11 July 2013 11:27

Rolling Ghosts

Written by Katy England

Oh physics puzzle games, I love you and I hate you. 

In 'Rolling Ghosts,' the player is tasked with assisting blobs that have been turned to ghosts by evil dark blobs. Over the course of 30 levels, you reanimate the blobs, who exist in various shapes (round, square, triangular and rectangular), use the different physics in relation to the environment to keep them alive and destroy the evil blobs in the process. The catch is, if they fall off the screen or overlap with another blob that is being reanimated they die a horrible death, much to the chagrin of the other blobs on screen.

 

Sunday, 23 September 2012 09:23

StikyLinky

Written by Katy England

A new twist on a match and vanish game (think 'Bejeweled' and its ilk), in 'StikyLinky' you're looking to collect evolved specimens of different colors in levels of various difficulty. Clicking on blobs of like color (two or more) will make them vanish, but your goal is to collect evolved specimens. The way to get them to evolve is to click on clusters of five or more. That will get you a cute critter which you then have to collect the same way you make the other blobs disappear.

Friday, 31 August 2012 09:23

Sushi Cat: The Great Purrade

Written by Katy England

Cats are behind the invention of the internet. This global network of computers exists to look at cute pictures of cats. And boy, do we! But sometimes you want more than just looking at cats. You want to pick them up with chopsticks and drop them on adorable anthropomorphized sushi so you can win a video game!

Well, that's what you do with the Sushi Cat series. This series has just added another to its repertoire. I can't really satisfactorily explain my love for this game in a way that makes sense. I mean, if you were to think about it logically, it wouldn't wash, but dropping a bouncy blue cat on adorable sushi(s) and watching him get super-fat and bouncier is just awesome to me.

Wednesday, 15 August 2012 15:40

Planet Juicer

Written by Katy England

I never thought I'd see the day where it became difficult to waste time. But there you go. Apologies for the lack of time-wasting tidbits, but free time becomes a premium when you have kids. For those of you about to waste your time, I salute you. Here's a decent way:

Planet Juicer. This game is a strategy defense. You play the evil invading planet bent on milking a planet for all its resources. The natives don't like this plan and try to stomp you out of existence. Your goal is to stay alive. You do this by defending the drill site, upgrading your unit and pulping any aliens that try to stop you.

Thursday, 31 May 2012 09:01

Paladog'

Written by Katy England

Have magic wand, will travel. Something like that. 'Paladog' is set in the far future, after humans have been eradicated from the planet. Sweet little animals have been beset by demons and undead minions. The only thing between the cute critters and a gruesome end is Paladog.

As Paladog, you summon brave critters to battle the forces of evil, purchase upgrades, magical weapons and rings and fight! You have to destroy your opponent's lair that allows the evil demons to spawn in your forest. Additionally, there are some puzzle levels to mix up the action.

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