Time Waster Weekly (367)
Wasting time with a holiday theme is difficult. Finding a game that is both endearing and fun can be downright impossible. There are puzzles with Christmas themes, a game where you can paint Christmas ornaments various colors and patterns, and even a re-tooled zombie game with Santas. I just wasn't feeling it.
Then I found 'Merry Clickmas.' It's one of the simple clicker games (see past games like 'Cookie Clicker'). But with this one you are tasked with saving Christmas. This means you need to build toys and wrap them for everyone in the world. That's right, 7.1 billion toys need to be crafted and wrapped by you (in click form, of course). But don't despair - impossible as it would be to click 7.1 billion times, you have options. Like 'Cookie Clicker,' you can purchase upgrades with your wrapped presents. Hire elves, invest in training and horrible working conditions, machinery and tricks for fast toy creation and smoother wrapping.
Some games are so easy you finish them too quickly. You still have plenty of time to kill. Some games are so hard you give up without finishing it. You still have plenty of time to kill. But it's a rare game that is both challenging and addicting. Enter 'Run Dino Run.'
You are a small dinosaur (you can customize your little guy's color and hat. Yes, hat) attempting to outrun extinction. You have to dodge fiery meteorites and panicked dinosaurs and collect eggs. I would be lying to you if I claimed that I understood all the ins and outs of this game. There are super-eggs you are supposed to collect that I haven't been able to find, and I know there is more than one way to beat a level (and hundreds of ways to lose one).
Kittens and cats are, without a doubt, the darlings of the internet. Cat videos go viral at pandemic speeds and would make the CDC itself balk, were those videos a contagion. Classic feline stars include Nora the piano-playing cat; 'surprised kitten;' and Maru, the cat who loves boxes.
While most kittens and cats content themselves with throngs of adoring fans, one cat asks the hard questions and gives it to us straight. However, he probably could care less whether you change things or not; it probably will not make a difference. His name is Henri the existential cat.
I love food. I enjoy cooking food, eating food and looking at food in cookbooks or on the internet. Many people use websites like Pinterest to create boards of things that interest them, like arts and crafts I use it almost exclusively to look at pictures of food and to drool over recipes. I know I'm not alone. But I just want you to understand where I'm coming from when I tell you about Dude Foods (dudefoods.com).
This is a blog created by a man named Nick who also loves food, and he loves playing with his food. The bigger and crazier, the better. He's created items like the bacon-weave choco-taco (if you aren't familiar with the delightful ice cream novelty called the choco-taco, please, use Google and educate yourself); Oreo Cookie-breaded, deep-fried ice cream, and the McEverything (yes, he ordered everything at McDonald's and made a 5-foot tall sandwich).
Bad eggs. They are the nemesis in this clever physics puzzle game. Your job is to destroy those eggs with a variety of natural disasters that impact the world these eggs inhabit. You can cause earthquakes that break glass structures, undermine objects with landslides and cause storms that move rounded objects. But sometimes, germ and biological warfare is needed, and you can summon swarms or release deadly contagions as well. And if that doesn't work try destroying objects with a fireball.
The levels increase in difficulty as you progress. And your score is based in part on how quickly you can eradicate the evil eggs. Faster is, of course, better. There may also be more than one way to crush an egg, so don't worry about playing around a bit. Your abilities will change by level, sometimes having a swarm and a couple landslides, or two tornadoes and an earthquake. Figuring out how best to use them to your advantage is key.
A great many artists have graced the world with their talent and vision. Van Gogh, Vermeer, da Vinci, Manet and Cezanne created objects of art which have outlasted them and surely will outlast us as well.
No one will argue that Vermeer's 'Girl with a Pearl Earring' isn't a breathtaking work of art. However, someone somewhere did notice something missing from the masters' work. And that something is cats.
If you don't know who Bob Ross is, there is a lovely piece of calm missing from your life. Ross hosted 'The Joy of Painting' on PBS from 1983 to 1994, showing people how to paint landscapes. He is renowned for his positive attitude, calm demeanor and, of course, his happy trees. So how does this help you waste your time? Well, assuming you need a pick me up from the grind, you need to visit www.bobrossquotes.com.
The site is simple: You go there and see a cute doll with fuzzy hair in the likeness of Mr. Ross. Underneath it there is a quote - something like, 'Clouds are very, very free' or 'Maybe in our world, there lives a happy little tree over there.' You get the idea. It's wonderful and funny and relaxing.
Do you like scary stories? This is the time of year for it. Halloween is just around the corner. It's darker, cooler and just plain spookier. A great place to get some nice could-be-true scary stories is the Atlas Obscura's '31 Days of Halloween.' I found it on day 15.
The great thing about this ongoing collection of tales is that they are rooted in place. Each one is set in a different, very real location. You can see ossuaries (catacombs constructed from the bones of the honored dead) and books bound in human skin. You can find the reason why a severed arm is on display in a cathedral and other such unsavory bits of trivia.
Zombies are still a thing. I mean, 'The Walking Dead' is huge, and with the success of that and movies like 'Zombieland,' it's really no surprise that they're still around. But sometimes I do wonder. Such is the case with 'Jack the Zombie.' Your guy is Jack, and you have to solve several puzzle levels by using a gun and a laser to (horrifically) kill humans.
You aren't eating their brains. You aren't shuffling around. You are solving puzzles and killing people. You just happen to be a zombie. Whatever.
A review of 'Wind Waker HD'
The end of 2005 was one of the best times for gaming for me. Between countless matches of 'Halo 2' and marathon sessions of 'Champions of Norrath,' I happened to find one of those games that grabs you by the brain and decides to burrow its way into the happiest memories ensconced therein. Terrifying mental imagery of my remembrances aside, that was the year that I finally started playing 'The Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker.' It was probably the very first time since 'A Link to the Past' that a Zelda title truly mesmerized me. So naturally, when I heard that they were making an HD remake of one of my favorite games of all time, I was all over it like a simile on an item related to the simile.
Remakes are terrifying things. If a game is beloved enough to have warranted a second look, there's a very thin line to walk. Change too much, and you alienate potential nostalgic buyers; change too little, and you might not be able to bring in some newcomers to be introduced to your classic title. A fine balance is tricky, but luckily, Nintendo managed to find that balance with 'The Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker HD.'
'Wind Waker' remains one of the most visually stunning Zelda games to date. Even before its 1080p upgrade, the bright, vivid colors of Hyrule still held up in their original resolution. The HDification (which is a very technical and not-at-all-made-up term) just brings to light the brilliance of the original work. The textures are fantastically transferred to the Wii U and shine on both the big screen and the Wii U Gamepad. Whichever screen you decide to play on, you're in for a delicious treat for your eyebits.
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