Time Waster Weekly (367)

Tuesday, 20 October 2015 19:44

Time Waster - Catch theCrowns'

Written by Katy England

'Catch the Crowns' is a physics game that places the player in the role of Rob, the last loyal guard to the king who has had all his crowns stolen by his other, less loyal guards. Using a variety of weapons at his disposal, Rob dispatches the blackguards mostly by dropping heavy objects on their heads or using explosives or magic.

You basically have to look at what resources you have available, and using the environment and weapons on hand, dispatch the guards, collect as many of the three stars as you can and get the crowns back.

Tuesday, 13 October 2015 23:59

Time Waster - Crusaders of the Lost Idols

Written by Katy England

Idle games are weird doubly so if you love them and are trying to explain why they are fun to other people. But if you need a good example of a well-done idle game 'Crusaders of the Lost Idols' is a good place to start.

You start with 'Bushwhacker', who uses a big stick to smack down the innumerable bad guys you face. As you gather more gold you can add more crusaders to your repertoire who will help you kill bad guys. Eventually, you don't have to do much unless you want to.

Tuesday, 06 October 2015 17:08

Time Waster - Miniature Station YouTube Channel

Written by Katy England

Wasting time can be all about mood. Sometimes you want to while away your hours mindlessly clicking an idle game while waiting for your coffee to heat up; other times you want to unwind after a tense day. This time waster is a zen time waster all about calm, quiet and a little weird. OK, a lot weird. But there are weirder things.

This is a video series of someone cooking - cooking real food, but using doll furniture to do it. Take a moment to think about that, but before you go away shaking your head, know that this is some calm-inducing video. It's quiet, yet has a clear progression. It is oddly satisfying to watch and is incredibly cute. And when you get right down to it, watching someone prepare deep-fried shrimp on a mini-oven is no odder than watching a stranger's cat do cute and funny things on the internet.

Tuesday, 29 September 2015 21:42

Time Waster - Mine Defense'

Written by Katy England

'Mine Defense' is a flawed idle game that doesn't idle very well. It does have some shining parts, and the beginning of the game is actually quite fun.

You are mining for gold, and like many idle games the more you upgrade the more gold you mine without having to physically click. The curious part of the game is that some of the upgrades possess an element of danger when you delve deeply, you trigger attacks by goblins that you need to defend against with walls and eventually wizards.

Monday, 21 September 2015 11:33

Time Waster - Have a Low-Key Forest Adventure'

Written by Katy England

'Have Low-Key Forest Adventure' is a game that you can find on Clickhole. For those not familiar, Clickhole is a site you need to visit with your tongue firmly in your cheek. Part of the Onion News Network, Clickhole is to internet clickbait what the Onion is to hard news. Basically, it makes fun of the polls, slide shows, and listicles you can find on other sites. So, it's an awesome way to waste your time anyway. But we're discussing Clickhole for another reason.

Your goal is to have a laid back adventure in the forest the emphasis being on low-key. In fact, if you do anything that isn't low-key, you lose. Which is half the fun. When you start you are presented with a photo, a brief description and two options. Your outcome depends on which of the options you choose.

Tuesday, 15 September 2015 22:12

Time Waster - Akinator: The Web Genie'

Written by Katy England

There are some bits of the internet that have been around for a while, but we don't always get to as soon as we should. 'Akinator: The Web Genie' is one of these places. This is a glorified game of 20 Questions except it's more like 25 Questions. You think of a character (living, dead, fictional or real) and then answer Akinator's questions about that character. Then he tries to guess who you are thinking about.

The thing is, he is creepily accurate. Yes, you can 'outsmart' the man, but the genius of this genie is that you then have the option to submit the name of the character you were thinking of. So he learns from his failures. Also, he's too polite to say if you were wrong about some of your answers.

Tuesday, 08 September 2015 22:41

Time Waster - Hextris

Written by Katy England

Hextris is similar to Tetris in that there are shapes falling from above, and you match up lines to make them disappear. But that's about it. Four colors fall from above: red, green, yellow and blue. Sometimes combos will fall, complicating matters, but the majority of the time it's those four.

One of the drawbacks in this game is there's no room to be clever. In fact, the best combos were sometimes achieved after I had literally given up and just went to time out. As you progress, the speed in which the blocks fall increases but the depth of field makes it hard to gauge just when your block hits. Occasionally, you may find yourself moving your hex before you locked your last block.

Monday, 31 August 2015 19:50

Time Waster - Hexel'

Written by Katy England

'Hexel' is a wondrously complicated game that is simple in design and layout. But there is a chance that if you play it you will go mad. The game is 19 circles, set up in a hexagon. You start with three red dots, and you move them with your keyboard (or by swiping, since you can play on a mobile device). If you have lined up three or more red dots in a row, they will combine to make another color (e.g. three red dots combine to make orange, four red dots create yellow, five will make green).

But every time you make a move, another red dot appears. The goal is to combine enough colors to make a black dot you know after you've created green, blue and purple. As of this playthough, I've only been able to make one purple dot.

Tuesday, 25 August 2015 21:47

Time Waster - Rumble in the Soup'

Written by Katy England

You remember that time you were eating soup and all the ingredients began attacking the laser-packing rubber ducky in the broth? No? Well, clearly you aren't playing 'Rumble in the Soup.' This is a simple shooter with a bizarre premise that is nothing but fun.

This is a mouse-only game, which means you can play with a touchpad if you want, but it's going to be more difficult.

Tuesday, 18 August 2015 18:50

Time Waster - Whine About It'

Written by Katy England

Buzzfeed is where your mom or annoying friend goes to find all the crap they repost constantly on social media. However, it is also home to one of the brightest shining stars of the internet: Matt Bellasai. He is the brainchild behind 'Whine About It,' a weekly segment where Matt gets drunk at his desk and complains.

He pours an entire bottle of wine into a single glass, proceeds to drink it and then gripes.

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